MNHQ moving a thread AGAIN due to bereavement without OP asking.

Bereaved parents are not idiots when we post out side bereavement its because we are looking for wider opinions than those who have been through what we have . You know sometimes its better to hear the opinions of those not scarred by the loss of their child

we shouldnt be told ..go ask the others

THIRD time in as many months, too. Hellomynameisfred's thread and Chez12's also moved without their consent or request.

But narked - it's not up to you to decide on the OP's behalf that she might be upset by some of the robust opinions. That's a very patronising and assumptive attitude.

If you were that concerned, you could have PMed her and suggested that she ask for the thread to be moved.

Thank you everyone. I must sign off for a while now. Off to visit my parents. But thanks so much for all of your prayers and blessings in this and the other thread. Words can't describe how content it has made me feel. It has also made Ethan's life feel much more significant.

Narked - I'm not aware of anyone who said anything for the sake of it on this thread. Not saying it doesn't happen, but not aware of it on this thread.

I asked for it to be moved (as I'm sure others did too) because AIBU is heated and there are some posters who --troll- say rather harsh things for the sake of it.

If you want MNHQ to leave it, tell them. Or ask them to move it to Chat if you want.

You know MNHQ, that child death isn't contagious. If we post about it where people will see it, it doesn't mean that your child will catch it.

FFS

Bugger the respect of others!

you put it where you feel it should be. I'm guessing you think AIBU? It's your friend's reaction not the reason per se.

Not sure it'll make the slightest difference, but I will say a small prayer for Ethan tomorrow. I say a small prayer for my kids each day, just a quick one. Will include your little one tomorrow.

I'm not 100% your friends are BU, but you definitely aren't.

well said loopyloops and 5 mad things ...

i can see why it would be suggested, but I think MNHQ should have emailed the OP to say "would you like us to move it, this is why we want to" rather than just moving it.

what a lovely post Lira

but stilll think mnhq need to think about how they deal with these issues in general

yes its good there is a place for berevement but its wrong that that should be the only place that thise wanting to talk about their loved ones can post.

they should feel free to talk about them in whatever thread they feel is appropriate.

Hello everybody.

I hope no one is worrying about me. It's not my intention to cause any arguments or upset.

I hope i am allowed to say this as it was a private mail (but i don't like seeing HQ getting flamed). I have just received an email from them saying they have moved my thread as AIBU can be robust. But it is up to me whether i'd like it to stay in bereavement or moved elsewhere.

I messaged back saying the thread was more about the situation with my friend rather than my son, so i don't think it quite belongs in bereavement. However, i can see it's upset some people so perhaps it's best kept there?

I appreciate all of the comments and time people spent replying. It was so wonderful just to hear him being spoken about. However, like it has been mentioned, i was looking on opinions on my friend rather than alternative ways to celebrate my son's birthday. I am happy having a lunch each year. But my friends aren't. They think it's odd and don't understand why i'm doing it when my friend hardly even mentions her miscarriage let alone has an anniversary.

Sorry, i am rambling. But that was the issue. Not my son's death. I am emotionally sound and have come to terms with what happened. Yes, of course i am sad but no longer grief stricken. IMO tomorrow is about celebrating his life, not grieving over his death. That's why i feel it's out of place in bereavement.

But out of respect of others, perhaps it should stay there?

hope I dont want to upset you because I am guessing at your circumstances from what you have posted but..

surely just because someone lost their child 3 years ago doesnt mean they have to stay off the main board ...

I really hope things improve for you

hopeforever i am sorry you are havind a bad time at the moment but every thread has the 'hide' function on it.

i really do not think threads related to death should always have to be moved to bereavement. perhaps a warning in the title would help and then postets can choose to read or to hide but posters have a right to post in whatever topic they feel is suitable.

moving it without the op asking and then with no explanation from mnhq was incredibly rude.

But the bereavement board is for people to talk, so it's hardly 'forcing them into a corner where they can't talk about their children'!

I think, though, that before a thread like this is moved, MNHQ should consult with the OP, or at the very least tell them that the thread is being moved.

Thank you Loopy, yes I can and did hide the thread, but the title was rather too close to the bone for me.
I don't understand why it makes people feel crap, but rather show than that they are thought about and supported. Just having a bereavement topic shows that MN are concerned about about parents.
My sister was still born and I know my mum would have appreciated the help of MN had it been around all those years ago.

It sounds as though it was in the right topic to start with.

However there is certainly a case that bereaved people (other ones, I mean) might wish to avoid the topic of bereavement, and therefore I can see why threads that deal specifically with it ought perhaps to be moved.

It would be polite to contact the OPs in advance though.

I agree if I post about my child in AIBU it's because that's were I want to talk about it, I'd be upset if it was moved to bereavement

I do agree that, if the OP was open to the discussion, then it would be wrong to 'assume' she wanted support and not a discussion about how people view these things.

I have to admit (and I know it's been mentioned on the thread) lots of people don't feel able to post a PoV when the thread is in bereavement the way they would when the thread is in AIBU. I feel that way too.