MNHQ moving a thread AGAIN due to bereavement without OP asking.

I also love a good debate. MN has honed my debating skills

OP - sorry to take this away from the subject in hand.

Amber - some don't though.

I loathe aibu. Its a cesspit.

AIBU = Fight Club

this is a support forum...intended to make lives easier. it has no place here, I believe.

Yes NewStart, that's the conundrum. The problem is AIBU, IMO. It's the gun that enables the bastards to shoot people.

I think it should be MN policy to NOT move a thread to bereavement before hearing back from the OP.

It does smack to me of shunting bereaved parents into a little quarantined section. Very insensitive. If a poster has chosen to post about their child, who has passed away, in a topic that is not Bereavement, then that is their choice and decision and shouldn't be taken away from them without consulting them first.

all of which, Rebecca, highlights again the problem with AIBU and with the type of posts and posters that tend to hang around there. There is an expectation that direct and insensitive posts are acceptable there, in a way which would not be accepted or allowed elsewhere on MNHQ

Yet that just didn't happen on that thread did it?

I like a 'debate' on AIBU, that doesnt mean I don't know how to show sensitivity if required.

But surely moving it because aibu is too fighty, just enables the fight atmosphere that you claim you are trying to stop? It is supposed to be a forum for getting both sides of opinion. To see if you are being unreasonable or justified in your thoughts. Sometimes it is precisely the right place for the thread no matter what the subject matter.

Otoh there is a hell of a lot of stuff in aibu that really shouldn't be there and people are just being lazy.

Aibu is wrong, it's been wrong for a long time. And all it represents and all it does to the site in general, is wrong.

I agree with BIWI

I wish AIBU would be abolished really. It used to be funny and lighthearted

I agree- ask the OP first, but in general (and I've said this before) AIBU just isn't the place for people who are feeling delicate. Too many posters cannot be trusted to just think a bit about how someone might be feeling before they post.

completely agree with BIWI.

If someone is a long-standing member, they know what AIBU is like.

I could possibly understand if it was a new member who might not have known what they were letting themselves in for.

But give people credit for choosing which topic they think best to post in. If they wanted it in Bereavement, they'd post it there in the first place.

I agree with BIWI.

Here's a suggestion MNHQ - Don't move the thread without first asking the OP. And stop assuming that you have to 'protect' us bereaved parents. Our children have died, theres not much more that can hurt us...

Putting threads in Chat gets them seen and isn't as confrontational.

Could it be a What Would You Do question (which has a section) rather than AIBU

Hellomynameisfred's and Chez12's threads were moved, too. Not at all fighty, in fact, Chez's could be very beneficial for other children's lives.

But hey, shunt them off.

'It's not up to you to decide on the OP's behalf'

Indeed. So I asked MNHQ to look at it. I wouldn't PM the OP asking her to move a thread as that to me would be pushy and inappropriate. I expected HQ to ask her if she wanted it moving.

.... all of which, Rebecca, highlights again the problem with AIBU and with the type of posts and posters that tend to hang around there. There is an expectation that direct and insensitive posts are acceptable there, in a way which would not be accepted or allowed elsewhere on MNHQ.

I think the post that is being referred to here was actually a genuine AIBU question. It's sad, really, that people would have complained about it being in the wrong place rather than complain about the wrong kind of posting from people in AIBU.

but pag... you are dealing with a child with sn just like bereaved parents are dealing with the loss of their child and we are comfortable talking about it with others...why should others be uncomfortable ?? its part of who we are

Hope I can understand that the title would have been like a kick in the gut for you .. but surely you can hide the thread and let the debate continue

We are all going to find stuff in chat and/or aibu from time to time thats upsettiing but unless we get rid of the topics its going to happen to us all at some time

I am truly sorry for your loss.. I was hoping the fact you were on bed rest meant you were trying to hold on to your pregnancy.. sad to realise you arent

I don't know - I think it can be tricky.

SN issues have their own board.i don't feel shunted off there - I don't feel sidelined.
I do talk about my son wherever the fuck I like. But if a thread was moved I don't think I would feel likei had been shut up. I think I would assume that t might be difficult for others.
I know how robust I am, but for a mother with a new diagnosis..?
Because I am happy with issues being in aibu can I expect everyone else to cope just because I do?

It's tricky for mnhq I imagine.

But I also didn't see the thread so I am probably talking out of my arse. Very likely.

I think it was the title of the post that was more of a problem for me, rtaher than the content which Was obviously very helpful to the OP.
Those of you who have said that there are other subjects that are equally painful are right.
If you have chosen to hide pregnancy, multibirths, conception etc, it's hard to see AIBU used for POAS, pregancy woes, miscarriage etc.
It was hard for me as I've just lost another pregnancy at 8 weeks and due to my age I know that I have lost my last chance to have another baby. It's very personal to me and I know that Lira had no idea when she posted and I fully agree that my pain is nothing like her bereavement.
Don't worry about me, I have great RL support, they are all at work during the day which is why I'm on here!