Do you let your son/daughter's boyfriend/girlfriend stay the night?

I say yes, DH says spare room...... she is 17.

He ignores the corridor creeping though

Yes my DS and his GF stay over have no problem with it, they are 19 and 18 and have been together nearly 2 years.

Exactly as Onehandflapping - felt def yuk factor... but let my DS and GF stay in his room... they are 18 and 19 and at uni together so clearly natural to them. I did check that her parents were happy with it first tho.

I'm sure Frances is lovely .

I would, too. From 16 on up.

Francesmumsnet your discussion is going to be on This morning well this morning

usually MNHQ explains on whose behalf they're asking and not first ask the question and then when prompted give an obscure answer. It may very well be a MNHQ person but they haven't gone round it the proper way this time.

Drinkfeck? Why would you report the op? She is clearly from mnhq. This thread like any others posted here is open to be looked at by anyone in the world, that includes journalists. We choose to post a reply in the knowledge that anything we say can be used without our permission.

Yes.

DS1 was 17 when he asked if his GF could stay over, DD and DS2 both 18 when they did.

Relationship lengths of about three months on each occasion.

At various times we've also had partner(s) living with us.

I've reported the OP.

Very odd that MNHQ are "just helping a journalist out" yet don't put that in the OP. Bad form.

I know everything here is a public forum anyway, but still can MNHQ let us know their stance on this?

DSD is still at the kissing is yucky let alone sex stage (thankfully) but I can remember living at home and at 17 my boyfriend staying over to help my mum decorate and he was in the spare room, my mum at bedtime mnade a jokey comment to him about nighttime wanderings and that she would be on the stairs well at 2am I went to the loo and yup she was on the stairs rofl

Yes. He was 18, she was 17. They'd been going out for about 3 months.

I feel as uncomfortable with the idea that my son is having sex as he doubtless feels about me having it. But I asked myself if not now, when would I let them? When they were married? That seemed prudish and hypocritical to me, seeing as I have no moral objection to pre-marital sex.

So as it just came down to the YUK factor, I decided to overcome that, and allow it.

Errr, shouldn't it have been posted then in media requests? Is there Frances working for Mumsnet at all?

I was clear with dc that our decision was dependent on factors relating to their age and the length of their relationship. So:

When dd was 16, and her bf was 15, we said no.

In their late teens / university age they could stay together if they'd been together for 6 months - however that meant 6 months after WE had been introduced to the boy/girl friend (to avoid the lie that they'd been together for ages but that we'd not known about it, and to ensure that I met any potentially serious boyfriends early on [nosy mother emoticon])

I can only imagine that if they were late 20's and brought a new partner home, I'd rely on whatever they felt was appropriate (assuming some more mature decisions).

I do understand the argument about preferring your kids to be in a safe place rather than behind the bus stop, but I also have my own principals, and discussing these with my dc let them know what my own stance was - and what I felt comfortable / uncomfortable about. So I was clear that I would not feel comfortable if my dc brought home a series of one-night-stands who I might meet fleetingly over breakfast, and I hope they know that I will lovingly accept anyone with whom they have a significant relationship.

NB to Mumsnet If this piece was prompted by a journalist, I do not want my response to be quoted in their article.

Absolutely. DDs 1 & 2 are 17 and 18 (almost 18/19) and their boyfriends regularly stay at ours and they stay with them too. I met their father when I was 17 so couldn't exactly say no if I'd wanted too!

DS's girlfriend initially used the spare room - she'd stay with him in his room watching tv (!!!) until the early hours then move into the spare room. I then noticed that she didn't move - and DS asked me if we were ok with her staying in his room (this is a 3 year relationship), and I covered my ears and said I didn't want to know.

So she does.

He knows that it's ok as we like her - there's no guarantee for future girlfriends!

Yes I did for both of mine when they were 17. Just seemed the reasonable thing to do.

Yes. They are twins of 18 and in stable relationships, one of 9months & the other 3 yrs. (The relationship lengths, not dtws ages!)

I wouldn't have, if it wasn't for MN. Talking to people on here convinced me that even though I am not thrilled at my dch having a sex life wanting them to play with Barbie/read Anne of Green Gables/build tree houses for ever it was preferable that they felt trusted, respected and safe in their own beds, rather than having sex behind the bus shelter etc. & their first expereinces of sex being feeling guilty & seedy.

Having said that, we started out with the stance that the bf/gf could stay in their bedroom in the evening until 10pm & then had to go home. Bf/gf did not stay the night until they were over 18 as that takes the relationship to another level. It wasn't a rule as such, just turned out that way.

BTW I do also think that you have to acknowledge that it is their home as well as yours (the parent).

Oldest DC are both well in the twenties now but yes, from first serious BF/GF, at about I suppose 17, I've let them stay the night in the DCs' rooms.
a) they're above the age of consent - what right have I to stop them?,
b) I was a bit of a slut back in the day and am not in a position to start being judgy now and
c) if they're not shagging somewhere safe and warm, they'd be shagging somewhere risky and inappropriate. Teenagers who want to shag will shag. Naive to think a bedroom ban will change anything.

At 17 most definitely.

My daughter is 3, but this is the way I plan to keep things. The same as was allowed for me but then i made good choices!

Presuming you mean in the same room / bed ? No

(My eldest is currently 16 and it's not come up yet, but this is what I think at present).

Oh it's a difficult one, dd is 23 and has been with her bf 2 years and he is allowed to stay but has only done it once. Ds1 is 19, his gf is 17 they have been together just less than a year and if she stays the night ds sleeps on the couch. but hmmmm

My parents only let my bro and wife stay over, I used to let DH before we were married sleep over when mum and dad were away as they would never agree to it if they were there. Somehow I feel I may follow their rules....