MNHQ so what is allowed.

SGM so if posters had rallied round to ensure your children would get a Christmas dinner (yes that is what she said) you really wouldn't be thinking of saying oh my god thankyou so much to everyone even after the thread was deleted? It is because the thread was deleted that I would be more vocal in my thanks. Maybe just me though. I would want people to know that I was genuine.

BOF, I think threads openly asking for money should be deleted. I morally think it is wrong. Unless it is a thread saying me/DP/DD etc are doing marathon or similar.

The only problem I have is if someone is just having a general moan but not asking for money. Should their thread be deleted in case someone decides to offer money?

if swift deletion is the way it goes, then I fear it will just move off board, and the lack of transparency is even greater, as there is no one saying 'whoa, hold yer horses' at all.

I don't know what the right answer is. other than a general expectation that anyone posting such a thread will not a) expect actual hard cash, b) only accept what is needed, and c) if more is collected maybe there shoudl be an accepted return method (not necessarily to the donators, who will probably say 'no need, I din\t give it to get it back', but maybe to MNHQ to go towards next/this (depending on time of year) Christmas appeal?

but that is all just gentleman's agreement, isn't it? so amounts ot nothng if not entered into wholeheartedly.

Eek I don't know LeBof

Marking place to see outcome............

I asked the op of the donations thread why she had not started a thankyou thread. SHe replied that it would only start a bun fight.

Yes to BOF's question. I support that too.

I'm not sure we should keep banging on about last night's thread and what that poster may or may not be feeling or doing- hopefully she will pipe up at some point.

Shall we stick to what we think MNHQ and the rest of us can do to prevent fraudsters ripping off mumsnetters with sob stories? Or how we can most constructively help posters in difficulty if that's what people want to do?

Should threads covertly or openly requesting or offering money be subject yo deletion, much like sneaky advertising is?

Actually, I just remembered last week a poster talking about taking out a doorstep loan because her dc's has no presents. She was given short shrift with comments like "xmas comes on the same day each year ffs, how can you not plan for it" along with practical advice and quick cash tips. No offers of cash.

Actually, I just remembered last week a poster talking about taking out a doorstep loan because her dc's has no presents. She was given short shrift with comments like "xmas comes on the same day each year ffs, how can you not plan for it" along with practical advice and quick cash tips. No offers of cash.

Queenofbingo - the OP has thanked people who gave her cash by PM, and doesn't want to talk about any of it any longer.

IF I had generously received some monetary donations AND there were doubts about how much I received, I would have posted a thread to say thank you and listed exactly where and who I took money from for example, Realitree for the £10 received, Queen for the £20 received etc... so it's clear what the total was and that everything else would be returned or donated. And if donated, I would happily put up a PDF showing the transaction happening. But that's just me.

We did a bring and buy sale at my work for the tsunami appeal in 2006. It was hugely successful and we raised over £800 in cash. Completely unexpected, we expected to raise £100 at the most. It would have been easy to walk out of my workplace either with part of the money or all of it. Hundreds of people came to the appeal and donated more than they bought etc. NO ONE questioned us as to whether we donated the money. However, I (and a few workmates) made it as transparent as possible. We had colleagues not involved in the organisation of the appeal to 'witness' me donating the money via my bank to the tsunami fund and we took a PDF of the acknowledgement and sent an email out to everyone in the company thanking for their support and to prove that the money went to the right place. But it would have been so easy to just walk out with the cash. Sometimes, people are just too trusting.

Yellow But she has also been helped out very generously. Where would the harm be in saying "you know what, deep down I knew someone might offer some financial help and I am so greatful to everyone who did whether financially, practically or emotionally. I was given X amount, plus a tesco order therefore I am able to return X amount to MNHQ for them to donate to a charity so it is all above board. Again thankyou everyone." How hard is it to post something like that when you have just been given a life line by strangers?

That's why she posted, isn't it Queen? Because she was skint and miserable and depressed.

So what if she's posted on other threads. Just because she hasn't answered your questions doesn't mean she is a liar/was on the scrounge.