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Original poster

MNHQ please can we have an "elderly parents" section?

93 replies

ssd · 27/08/2011 09:17

this subject is so relevant to many of us yet there is nowhere to discuss the feelings of loss/guilt/anger/worry many of us have, not to mention having a discreet laugh and chat when it all gets too much

I think this would be a really useful and sympathetic section for those of us struggling with elderly mums or dads

thanks

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/08/2011 20:52

Was there not a "sandwich generation" topic a little while ago, for this sort of thing?

FoundWanting · 28/08/2011 20:49

I started a thread in Chat this week looking for this very thing.

I was very helpfully directed to the 'Carers' threads, but my questions are much more vague and I'm not actually caring for anyone.

I bet my FIL could give your dad a run for his money, paula Grin

paulapantsdown · 28/08/2011 20:48

On another (related) subject, does MNHQ think there might be interest enough in a section for siblings within the special needs forum. There are lots of us adult siblings of brothers or sisters with a disability, and there are lots of issues relating to the responsibilities and worries this brings. I feel sometimes that I have no one to talk to who understands. It would be great to find them here.

StealthPolarBear · 28/08/2011 20:45

Has SophieMN not been on and said it's a great idea? Does that not mean yes? Confused

paulapantsdown · 28/08/2011 20:43

I vote yes please. It would be nice to talk to someone who might have a Dad as bloody infuriating and hard to handle as mine! Smile

Original poster
ssd · 28/08/2011 20:39

so MN who decides these things, is it a monday morning meeting jobby?

OP posts:
hildathebuilder · 28/08/2011 07:13

another vote here, albeit in my case its my mil.

saffronwblue · 28/08/2011 05:54

another vote here.

FruStefanLindman · 28/08/2011 05:42

ssd, I've just realised what you meant by 'what section'? I always look at the A-Z of Topics, I don't bother trawling through the various sections. I'm sure if MNHQ do start a new Elderly Parents topic, they'll tell us what 'section' they're going to put it in.

Sadly my Mum died last year - but I had a few years where I, too, was struggling with those 'ishoos' Sad

Original poster
ssd · 27/08/2011 20:49

oh fru, I'm hopeless at links!

I think even without loads of people seeing this MNHQ would probably agree it is a relevant topic to many of us , I don't really know how they make up their minds as to if and how to invent a new topic

I hope they do though, I have so many ishoos regarding this topic and theres no one to discuss it with, it kills me

OP posts:
ChessPiece · 27/08/2011 20:28

Another vote here.

I don't "care" for my Mum as such but have issues around her getting old and all that entails in terms of things like her not accepting help when offered, not being realistic about money, not adjusting her lifestyle to new health circumstances etc. Would be good to share experiences and ideas.

FruStefanLindman · 27/08/2011 20:25

ssd. Another thought, why don't you post a thread in Chat and AIBU about this - with a link to this thread - asking for more 'votes'. I'm guessing a number of MNers don't actually 'visit' Site Stuff very often.

FruStefanLindman · 27/08/2011 20:08

Hopefully, ssd, MNHQ might give us a brand new topic called 'Elderly Parents', given that it was your suggestion in the first place. Smile

Original poster
ssd · 27/08/2011 19:51

thanks Sophie, hope you get the topic going, personally it would really help me to have some posters who would be able to discuss things that they have personnel experience of, its hard to talk about your elderly parents when most of your friends mums or dads are a good 15 years younger than yours and are at an entirely different stage

what section would it be in?

OP posts:
wompoopigeon · 27/08/2011 15:43

Another vote for this topic.

FruStefanLindman · 27/08/2011 15:21

SophieRM. You are correct, many of us who are (who have been) looking after our elderly parents don't see ourselves as 'carers' - or probably wouldn't 'get' that the 'Carers' topic applies to us.

I think ssd has a good point that a new, separate topic might help.

MNHQ
SophieRMumsnet · 27/08/2011 11:20

Great idea. We do have a 'Carers' section but perhaps this is not quite that because although you are dealing with your parents you are not necessarily the 'carers'.

FruStefanLindman · 27/08/2011 10:01

I second that