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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

MNHQ .. Can we talk about disability bashing?

921 replies

Brownsugarshortbread · 05/06/2011 23:58

Over the years i have posted on and enjoyed MN.
Sadly there seems to be a growing culture of it being okay to have a go at disabilities, those who claim DLA and those who's children have 'invisable' disabilities such as ADHD and ADD.
The terms 'freak' and 'scrounger' have been batted around and comments from some posters IMO certainly boarder on harrassment and discrimination.

When certain posts or posters have been reported, some have been removed, yet a lot haven't.

And while I agree with free speech, these types of comment or reaction to these comments, are not an education for those bigoted posters. Nor do those whose lives are touched by disability wish to be used to educate those posters.

Disability Harassment

is unwanted behaviour based on disability,
impairment or additional need. Such behaviour may include comments that are patronising or objectionable to the recipient or which creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment for people with disabilities. Disability harassment includes inappropriate reference to disability, unwelcome discussion of the impact of disability, refusal to work with and exclusion of people with disabilities from social events or meetings.

OP posts:
Shoesytwoesy · 07/06/2011 21:34

I have asked mn hq to post again on this thread, I think TFO posts show how far we have ot go, I have seen their post on the thread Lougle mentioned so they seem to enjoy causing hurt, but will mn hq care or will their freedom to offend and hurt be more important

BeerTricksPotter · 07/06/2011 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/06/2011 21:16

She actually showed her face on MN?

What happened? I dont want to drag up anything that will upset people but I would like to know how it came about.
Was it right after the broadcast? Did she admit who she was and did she attempt to justify her vile views?

Shoesytwoesy · 07/06/2011 21:11

I am glad we got the troll post on here, I think it is a brilliant way of showing mn hq how people like to hurt and be offensive, and that all the "educating" in the world doesn't change that

Original poster
Brownsugarshortbread · 07/06/2011 21:07

Thank you lilo, it does mean a lot.

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 07/06/2011 21:03

Brownsugar - I am with you. There is a difference between freedom of speech in terms of expressing opinions, but harrassment/discrimination is not acceptable. I don't have any family members with disabilities but wholeheartedly support what you are trying to do. I will help watch out for the kinds of threads you mention and will press "report" if I see them in future, and would urge others who "get" what you're saying to do the same. It's nothing to do with being on a high horse.. it's ignorant, wrong and incredibly hurtful. And most likely illegal.

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/06/2011 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/06/2011 20:54

Are you telling me that creature who was on the Radio came on MN?!Shock

How the fuck did I miss that?

Original poster
Brownsugarshortbread · 07/06/2011 20:42

Very likey shoesy! Very likely.

And it's not just the name calling, because once you get called names it steps up to who can beat the spaz up! Cos it's just fun and joking innit?

Broken bones, bloody noses A&E trips because a 'word' becomes a name which starts pack like abusive behaviour. if parents/society didn't make it okay, there would be less of it.

And we've also had physical and verbal assults on ds's older Nt brother, "cos your brother is a spaz freak"

OP posts:
LeninGrad · 07/06/2011 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shoesytwoesy · 07/06/2011 20:34

Brownsugarshortbread your not wrong,
ds has told me of parents calling dd a retard and a spaz(I have never spoken to them since) I wonder what the children of the bigots on mn do, are they the ones who gawp at our kids lol.

Caoimhe · 07/06/2011 20:31

I do not understand how MNHQ can claim that they do not have double standards. That thread with the S word in the title is a perfect example - If the title had been "My dh says I run like a n**r" it would have been deleted.

Original poster
Brownsugarshortbread · 07/06/2011 20:12

TFO, retard and spaz are not okay. In MN vain hope of educating Hmm, let me tell you why, just from where I come from.

My ds wanted to kill himself because he was constantly referred to and called a spaz and a retard by kids at school. These children thought it okay to use those words at him because it was made acceptable by their parents ( and society). When in a meeting with the parents, their attitude was: " well it doesn't mean anything, my x was just joking and we use it all the time. Get over yourselves".

Monkey see, monkey do. But with devistating consqences.
A lot of resourses used up to rectify the situation, and long term damage.

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 07/06/2011 20:04

Peachy she sounds dreadful. I've come across people in rl who have said things like that to my face. It is Shock

I accept that I read your post as if you were accusing me of disablism - it was an innocent mistake for which I apologise.

My (non disabled) brother and I have used this gallows humour mainly to wind my mum up since we were little, its a sort of family in joke, as in "God, even (disabled brother) could have guessed that!"

I do maintain that a lot of words are losing their original meanings and I do not find such words offensive, unless they are intended to be offensive.

Glitter - no probs Smile

Peachy · 07/06/2011 19:57

TFO Claire K is pretty famous for her opnions and has had radio time, bit of a nasty celeb.

She called a debate on the radio that Riven was on and made comments about not leeping disabled kids alive. She is very well known indeed both on MN and outside- twitter, facebook, and the wider arena. Not Katie Price for sure but a name many will recognise on this thread.

We have the same gallows humour in fact TFO but the point is that whilst I might use it with dh in a loving environment wher there is nothing but care and nurturing for my children, it is not acceptable in any other context.

As with the N word as you said.

And I never said you were for disablism; you read far more into my post than was ever there. You made a point, I responded with examples of some of teh stuff that ahs appeared.

Indeed i followed MNHQ's education advice for which I can only apologise as it is not my job.

Glitterknickaz · 07/06/2011 19:56

Ok, sorry

TheFlyingOnion · 07/06/2011 19:49

considering my mother cared for 18 years (and is still, in a manner of speaking) I can be pretty sure that wasn't me...

Glitterknickaz · 07/06/2011 19:47

Fair dos TFO.
I just know you were on 'that' thread, and I'm not going back to it, it's too upsetting.

LeninGrad · 07/06/2011 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFlyingOnion · 07/06/2011 19:38

*Glitterknickas"

I am rofl at that, if indeed it is directed at me. You must have got me confused with someone else...

TheFlyingOnion · 07/06/2011 19:37

"Words are used by different communities differently. For example, the Black community have in part, reclaimed the word 'nigger'. One Black person may call another a 'nigger', but you can bet your bottom dollar that a White person, no matter how friendly or close to a Black person, could call them a 'nigger' without offence taken."

More or less where I'm coming from, Lougle, actually.

My family has a particular "gallows" humour which comes from one of us being PMLD. Probably why I might use words to my family/friends in jest which at other times some may find insulting/"disablist"

Glitterknickaz · 07/06/2011 19:36

If I remember rightly though you ARE for criticising the lives of parent carers though aren't you?

TheFlyingOnion · 07/06/2011 19:34

right well as this ck was deleted, is it a surprise I've never seen her posts?

I haven't seen any. I'm not saying there have never been any. Entirely different point.

you were welcome to give examples; had I seen anything shocking I would have jumped right on the bandwagon.

I'm not for disablism ffs

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis · 07/06/2011 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lougle · 07/06/2011 19:33

Threadworm, that isn't entirely true, is it?

Words are used by different communities differently. For example, the Black community have in part, reclaimed the word 'nigger'. One Black person may call another a 'nigger', but you can bet your bottom dollar that a White person, no matter how friendly or close to a Black person, could call them a 'nigger' without offence taken.

I do feel strongly. What happens today, this week, this month, this year, is going to have a life-long impact on how my daughter, currently a 5 year old, will be treated in the future.

Will she have to endure people calling each other 'spaz' or 'moron' or 'retard', or worse, when they see her attempts at running, calling her a 'spaz' or a 'retard'?

My DH was at a park with her last month. A girl fell over, and DD1, in her way, showed concern. She approached the girl, and said 'are yew otayyy???' She has S&L delays and very unclear speech. The girl, around 13 years old, then proceeded to mimic my daughter for several minutes with her friends.

Should my DH put up with that? Should my 5 year old, who currently has no perception that she is 'different' or 'retarded', be made aware that she is being mocked?

NO. He approached the girl and said 'Do you mind, poking fun at my daughter?'. The girls left shortly after.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me".

One of the biggest lies of our society, IMO.