Idea for new parenting advice TV show based on Mumsnet Talk - your thoughts/input needed

God, yes, a really thoughtful, intelligent appraisal of where women (especially mothers) are today in a historical, socio-economic, even political context would be really fascinating.

And much more enjoyable than "whoops, I forgot his nappy, pass me another glass of Chardonnay, missus!"

No real suggestions but I'm posting to put this thread in Threads I'm on.

and finances. a complete redefinition of your finances. not because children are expensive, because they aren't necessarily, but because as a woman, every opportunity you had to earn money just dived off a cliff.

Sorry, Ros, if my question sounded a bit blunt. It wasn't meant to, just reflected the fact that I shouldn't be on here but should be working .

And apologies if it was an overly personal question. However, the reason I asked if you had children is because it really, genuinely gives you a completely different perspective on the whole issue. I'd be really interested to read your book, swallowedafly, for that very reason.

We all think we know what it must be like to have children, but until it actually happens to you, you never fully get what actually happens. It isn't just about 9 months of glowing/getting bigger and shopping in MotherCare, to then produce (by fair means or foul) a lovely bundle of joy at the end.

It's about a complete redefinition (in many cases) of who you are, your relationship with your partner (and family, often), as well as a re-appraisal of your own career plans, intentions and realities.

I'm aware that it sounds terribly patronising to say that you don't understand it until it's happened to you, but in this instance I think it's absolutely true.

I hope this doesn't appear overly negative, although I can't see how you wouldn't take it like that - but being a mum is so much more than just being a mum - and these are the issues that I think your programme ought to be considering about including, alongside the momentarily pressing issues such as nappies/weaning/toilet training, etc (which is also not to diss how important those are at the time you're in those moments)

i think we all know what a working title is, though, ros, but the fact that it wasn't snorted at in disgust and immediately abandoned on first mention is a worry.

i think there is SO MUCH to say about womens' lives today, including the fact that you love your career while wishing you have children. It would be AMAZING if a show could take us seriously enough to address those types of things. but it wouldn't attract a wide enough audience to make it anything other than BBC4 fodder.

That title will be a big red neon emobossed flag for lots of people.

And why would anyone watch that for advice? If you think its cool to be a Bad Mum you probably think you know already or don't care how everyone else thinks you should parent.

LOVE the idea of behind the scences at MNHQ.

swallowedAfly all this stuff is really useful - thanks. I have to dash off now to go and view another programme I'm working on, but I will come back on here later today and respond to the rest... I'm to bloody slow at replying to keep up - mostly because I'm trying to do too many other things at the same time!

Bad Mums Club is just a working title and titles often change a lot before programmes make it to air, so it's really useful to get your thoughts on it. We'll definitely take this feedback on board. We want something that attracts an audience and gives a sense that this is going to be different from all the Suppernanny type shows we've seen before - something that suggests it's lead by the parents and that it's going to be a little bit irreverent and entertaining. I'm sure there will be lots more brainstorming at this end for ideas, and maybe we can test out other suggestions on here nearer the time.

I don't have children,BecauseImworthIt. I wish I did.

I agree with everything you just said, swallowedAfly. My granny had 5 children and worked all hours, in a job she didn't enjoy, to support them after her husband died; my mother has 4 children and works full-time for the NHS and various charities because she has passion; one of my sisters is a very happy stay at home mum... and I work all hours and love it!

I was refering to the mums I work with in telly and I guess my comment only goes to emphasise how difficult it can be in this industry. Certainly didn't mean to sound twee.

but basically what you are talking about, saf, is how women are still being shafted. which would be fascinating to see on tv but wouldn't attract the attention that a bunch of 'grumpy old mothers' blah blah blah would.

daisy goodwin, for example, is not a nasty idiot (she isn't) but look at what she and Silver River were prepared to do to newborn babies in order to go out at primetime on the back of shitloads of press coverage.

Can't remember if you've been asked this/you have answered this, but do you, Ros and/or Freya have children yourself?

Absolutely agree about the working title. Sorry, but I think it's dreadful, and hardly supportive or representative of female solidarity.

excellent post, saf.

i suppose the thing is, ros, that we feel we are among friends here, rightly or wrongly. that's why we support each other, have a laugh, muck about etc.

i've been five years or more on here, i've discussed most things (not so much on parenting, i concede, i find that all a bit tedious), so posters can take a looooong view on my advice, my motivation, my character etc, and decide for themselves whether i am worth listening to or not. you can't do that in 48 mins on Channel 4, you can only provide a cartoon sketch of our personalities, with the onus on you being to entertain the audience as well as try to stay true to the subject material. (but we know what will be let slide if push comes to shove).

Can you explain a bit more about the working title, please? Just the thought of you guys being under the impression that The Bad Mothers Club is a good title is worrying in the extreme, tbh. It's 2011, women shouldn't be subject to that kind of guff any more.

It really isn't our intention to make anyone on here look bad - as aitchtwooh rightly points out, we'd be committing career suicide if we did! We genuinely want to make a series that celebrates parenting - to ditch the tv experts and instead make a show where parents offer each other support and advice, tell it like it is, and hopefully have a laugh together too.

We'd also like it to be so good that we keep getting asked to make more - which isn't going to be possible if we've pissed off the people we're filming with!!

As Freya has already said, we really aren't asking anyone to do our jobs for us. We just felt it would be wrong to start developing a format inspired by MN without keeping everyone informed and making sure we have taken on board everyone's thoughts, concerns and suggestions.

Thanks so much for the link piprabbit. It looks really interesting - I'm definitely going to watch it.

Good for you for making that choice, specialmagiclady. I can't imagine it was easy but, for what it's worth, I admire your decision. I've come across a lot of mums who say they wish they'd spent more time with their kids, but I have yet to find any who say they wish they'd spent more time at work!

This programme sounds a bit like some of the early ideas on this thread. An animated documentary taking the viewer inside the counselling rooms at Relate.
Certainly sounds like one way of getting the balance between frankness, anonymity and watchable TV.

making an MN show is a potentially disastrous move for SL anyway... can you imagine, every single thing they did being reported on here in real time by the MNers involved? every little filming shortcut or squeaky half-truth uncovered? i can't see many of my producer pals putting themselves up for that, tbh, it's potentially ruinous.
and as for the day the show would go out? lol, can you imagine? remember all the people who have come on here and other sites after appearing in shows, trying desperately to 'clear their name'?
there isn't a legal document in the world that can silence an MNer with her tail up.