dear mn hq please could threads to do with testing for ds and other disabilities

I don;t think AIBU suits the other thread; there's different types of debates after all. AIBU is so confrontational, people post anything and anstiness is guaranteed.

It doesn;t belong here, in choices (shoesy is right to have suggested it becuase that's how it was when it was established but seems it ahs evovled),, in Sn or in chat. So the question has to be- where?

I was wondering whether there have been any further thoughts on this one?

Agreed.

Lynette - there was no need to withdraw your post.

previous abortion threads have been in 'AIBU'. that would have been the most appropriate place, though perhaps if politics were widened to included 'debate' or 'issues' that would be better?

'sensitive issues' is a bit harder to define - what is a sensitive issue?.. almost every thread has the possibility of touching a nerve for someone out there.

clearly antenatal choices isn't the right place for a general discussion thread.

For what it's worth, everyone on the other thread has been sensible, and a lot of good points posted, so it doesn't really need to disappear.

MNHQ - why not just move it to 'Other Subjects'?

And delete it 90 days after the last post.

Choices needs to be a safe place for those who need it. Anyone who posts there needs to know that they are free from judgement. No one would think the moved thread belongs in the SN section. It just as clearly doesn't belong in the choices area.

Nothing to stop a new discussion topic having a lifespan.

I can't see if anyone has suggested this, so apologies if I missed it.
Could we not have a topic area for debating subjects like this, discrete from any other already established ones?
That way people could ask emotive questions and get responses without infecting the choices, bereavement or sn areas.
It would also mean that the whole topic could be hidden, and that we could still ask for threads to be moved there.

I don't think moving a topic out of chat equates to censorship by the way.

People who are posting on it or viewing active convos will still find it.

I just vehemently disagree with the decision to move it into "choices". That section is full of people going through terribly difficult times and making life-changing decisions - do they really need a thread of judgers telling them that either they're horrible to consider terminating, or they're mad to consider living with a disabled child? No matter what your views on the issue, it doesn't do anyone any favours putting it there and I really wish MNHQ would reconsider.

shoesytwoesy - would you like to cut & paste the comments where you were told that you chose to have a disabled child? I know MN gets heated at times, but I can't ever see that happening.

Why are you choosing to be hurt because someone else may have a termination if they are told they are carrying a child with DS? It is not about you or your child. It doesn't make your child any less wanted, loved, special or fabulous.

Shoesy please don't think I'm trying to belittle your feelings about this - but I don't think that Choices is the right place either - partly because many of the people in Choice will be people facing life with a disabled child.

Not everyone in Choices makes the decision to terminate - many people in that topic will decide to go ahead with the pregnancy. Don't you think, as parents-to-be of disabled children, they deserve as much consideration as parents of children already born?

In Choices it has the potential to hurt people just as much - people on all sides of the debate.

I agree with seeker, particularly at 16.54.

When there are so many 'specialised' topics you don't get a 'general opinion' on things, you get a biased opinion on things.

It's easy enough to hide a thread if you don't want to read past the first few lines of an OP.

Eh?

If I upset you please tell me how - I genuinely didn't mean to.

I've reported my post by the way, to flag the rest of the thread to MNHQ's attention (just in case they've ticked it off after Nancymumsnet's post)

There are loads of things that come up in chat that i don't like - I either hide them or ignore them. I honestly don't think it should be censored.

Sorry - cross posting.

Yes i hope MNHQ thinks of a solution. And I wasn't trying to criticise you for suggesting the move Shoesy - I can totally understand your reasons for wanting it out of chat.

Sorry was that question directed at me? I agree with you - the move was totally inappropriate.

A "sensitive topics" area would be much better. Failing that, I think chat is imperfect but preferable - I agree it has the potential to hurt everyone there, but at least "chat" is a neutral area where people may be more prepared to encounter something upsetting.

So where do you suggest? I think ante natal testing is entirely inappropriate.

Of course threads like that are very hurtful to parents with children affected by the issues, but they also have the potential to hurt people going through hard choices at the time - whatever way they are leaning. If you're trying to decide what action to take on a bad test result the remarks on both sides are likely to be extremely wounding. Why should it shunted right into a topic that was supposed to be set up partly as a "safe" place?

And saying "well you can hide it" - that cuts all ways doesn't it?

I'm really surprised at MNHQ on this decision - I think it was poorly thought out to move such a painful thread into the "choices" section.

I'm not saying it's right for it to be in chat - but it's surely not right to put it in a place where one of the groups of people most likely to be hurt by it HAVE to go to look for information. That's barely better than putting it in SN.