Page 2 | Trying for a second baby and feeling disheartened

ForestWren · 2026-08-19T08:37:53+00:00

Just wanted to vent and see if anyone is in the same boat atm. We’ve been TTC number 2 for about 6 cycles now and I got another BFN this morning, at around 11/12dpo. I got my hopes up this month as we really put work into it (! - not easy with a toddler) and I have been having cramps for a few days, which was a symptom with my previous pregnancies (dd1 plus an mc). We conceived dd1 fairly easily, in about 3 months (although this came right after the miscarriage at 7 weeks, which also took about 3 cycles to conceive). So I naively hoped this one would be quick too. DD1 is 20 months now and I'm starting to worry about the age gap and whether she'll have a sibling (I know I'm getting ahead of myself). I regret every time I asked parents if they were planning another!!! It's such a tough question to answer when you're trying. I’m finding myself worrying that something has changed and reduced our fertility. In particular, my dh is now on antidepressants which could potentially affect motility. It would be a big effort for him to stop taking these as they've helped him so much. Another factor could be the fact I had a c section, but I don’t know much about about this. We're also now a few years older (35 and 36). Also, I'm still breastfeeding a bit. But my cycles are pretty regular so I don't think this is affecting things too much - any thoughts on this? I know that really 6 months isn't very much in the great scheme of things, but it stung this month to see the BFN!

Original poster

ForestWren · 28/08/2026 17:13

Firsttimerugbymum · 28/08/2026 16:58

Hi All, had the fertility results back this afternoon and very saddened by the result.

Whilst the blood tests and scan were good for me, it looks like my partner is significantly below the normal levels in count, mobility and morphology and they actually recommended IVF.

I wouldn't want to put myself through that (and also the cost) considering we already have one child.

Going to try some different supplements and give it another go in three months, but kind of feels like the dream of #2 is over

So sorry to hear this. Sending love.

Is he the father of your first? Can you think of any specific changes that might have happened to cause this? How old is your first?

I imagine it might take some time to process. I’ve heard of people really turning their sperm health around with lifestyle changes, but don’t know a huge amount about it.

Such a tough thing to hear. Feel free to keep venting here if useful.

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Firsttimerugbymum · 28/08/2026 16:58

Hi All, had the fertility results back this afternoon and very saddened by the result.

Whilst the blood tests and scan were good for me, it looks like my partner is significantly below the normal levels in count, mobility and morphology and they actually recommended IVF.

I wouldn't want to put myself through that (and also the cost) considering we already have one child.

Going to try some different supplements and give it another go in three months, but kind of feels like the dream of #2 is over

OttilieKnackered · 28/08/2026 13:53

No complications that I know of but reading around suggests this is a really common complication after c section. I conceived so easily for my son and before that (ended in miscarriage). And with my long periods and sudden inability to conceive it would make se sense.

Original poster

ForestWren · 28/08/2026 08:12

OttilieKnackered · 27/08/2026 19:43

I’m in the same boat. 9 cycles now and nada. No hint of a positive. GP was great in ordering blood tests but they’ve come back normal which I suspected as very regular periods.

Then I was reading today about secondary infertility and read about uterine scarring causing a pouch which retains fluid and makes it hard for a fertilised egg to implant. One symptom is super long periods which I’be had since having my son and I’m now convinced that’s what’s happening.

Im gonna book a private scan as soon as my period starts and go from there but feeling quite despondent as we couldn’t afford the repair surgery privately and im way too old to wait for the NHS.

Feeling pretty despondent about it today. It’s shit.

I’m so sorry - I hadn’t heard of that issue. Is it worth going back to the dr and saying that you suspect this? Some will go above and beyond to get you scans etc.

Do you suspect that is from a c section? Did you have a complicated surgery?

I think this group is disproportionately c section as people have found it and commented if they have been through c sections - lots of people have them and go on to have lots more babies.

Also nine months is not extremely long to be trying, I hope you will keep trying 💚

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OttilieKnackered · 27/08/2026 19:43

I’m in the same boat. 9 cycles now and nada. No hint of a positive. GP was great in ordering blood tests but they’ve come back normal which I suspected as very regular periods.

Then I was reading today about secondary infertility and read about uterine scarring causing a pouch which retains fluid and makes it hard for a fertilised egg to implant. One symptom is super long periods which I’be had since having my son and I’m now convinced that’s what’s happening.

Im gonna book a private scan as soon as my period starts and go from there but feeling quite despondent as we couldn’t afford the repair surgery privately and im way too old to wait for the NHS.

Feeling pretty despondent about it today. It’s shit.

Original poster

ForestWren · 26/08/2026 08:14

Thanks anotherlevel - lovely to hear that!

Thought I’d update - period finally came thankfully so I’m feeling positive about a new cycle.

Had my doctor’s appointment. She wasn’t concerned about the c section or the anti-depressants, or how long it’s taken us. But offered me the blood tests to check hormones so I’ll do that next month so see if there’s anything odd.

I’ve booked in for acupuncture starting next week.

And started weaning off bf! So far we’re doing none in the day and none at bedtime. I’m going in when she wakes up for now as she’s a bit under the weather and starting a new room at nursery next week. Taking it slow. But so far she’s been sleeping way longer without me at night! First 2.30am, second night 3.30am, last night 4.30am. Hopefully this continues!

Hope you’re all doing ok 💚

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anotherlevel · 23/08/2026 21:46

Mulledjuice · 22/08/2026 09:33

I think you're extremely unlikely to conceive if youre not yet having a period.

I stopped feeding to sleep (still fed at bathtime so just brought forward 20-30 mins) before nightweaning. Nightweaning I used Dr Jay Gordon method - he's v supportive of cosleeping.

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I had conceived 2 of my kids without a period! They’re all close in age and it hadn’t returned after each pregnancy so it was always a surprise when I found out I was pregnant!

anotherlevel · 23/08/2026 21:44

I was still breastfeeding when I conceived 2 of my DC’s so it is still possible to fall pregnant if you are. It could be absolutely anything but I’d say just keep on trying and stay positive. One thing that really helped was actually forgetting about it and not stressing over it and almost giving up because once that happened I fell pregnant! I know it sounds silly but being relaxed helped a lot. Don’t give up hope, it’ll happen when it’s meant to xx

Original poster

ForestWren · 22/08/2026 10:03

Mulledjuice · 22/08/2026 09:33

I think you're extremely unlikely to conceive if youre not yet having a period.

I stopped feeding to sleep (still fed at bathtime so just brought forward 20-30 mins) before nightweaning. Nightweaning I used Dr Jay Gordon method - he's v supportive of cosleeping.

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Oh sorry I just mean this month! My period have been back for several months now and pretty regular. It’s just a bit delayed this month for some reason :)

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Mulledjuice · 22/08/2026 09:33

ForestWren · 22/08/2026 08:51

Yes still bf at night unfortunately. Any tips for stopping?

I’ll look into couples MOT - may be a good idea a little further down the line, after I’ve stopped bf.

Still no period and another negative test. V unusual for me and very annoying!

Show quote history

I think you're extremely unlikely to conceive if youre not yet having a period.

I stopped feeding to sleep (still fed at bathtime so just brought forward 20-30 mins) before nightweaning. Nightweaning I used Dr Jay Gordon method - he's v supportive of cosleeping.

Original poster

ForestWren · 22/08/2026 08:51

Mulledjuice · 21/08/2026 22:04

Possibly but I think you're too soon to be able to get the tests on NHS. You could get a couples MOT from a fertility clinic which would include an ultrasound for you, or there are probably places that would do bloods by post.

Are you breastfeeding at night?

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Yes still bf at night unfortunately. Any tips for stopping?

I’ll look into couples MOT - may be a good idea a little further down the line, after I’ve stopped bf.

Still no period and another negative test. V unusual for me and very annoying!

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Mulledjuice · 21/08/2026 22:04

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:21

good intel thank you! Would that be privately?I feel quite rested and we eat very well. I think my dh doesn’t get great sleep and may have sleep apnea - he’s seeing a doc about it in a couple of weeks so we are doing a bit of an MOT! Dh gets a fair amount of exercise. I could def get more 😬

do you think I could get prolactin levels checked by gp?

Show quote history

Possibly but I think you're too soon to be able to get the tests on NHS. You could get a couples MOT from a fertility clinic which would include an ultrasound for you, or there are probably places that would do bloods by post.

Are you breastfeeding at night?

Original poster

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:32

A bit frustrated because my period is late this month and I’m getting negative tests. There is almost no chance I ovulated later than I expected and caught my fertile window because we went away just before and had no privacy for any private time! So now I’m just left waiting to come on and get on with the next cycle. And yet I am still wasting pregnancy tests ofc! I think I may have ovulated late due to a short bout of food poising just before ovulation. Boo.

In other news I have booked in for acupuncture in a couple of weeks, so that feels like some kind of progress. And we have decided to stop breastfeeding in September. Very scary as she is obsessed with it recently!

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Original poster

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:27

HelloDarknessmyoldfrenemy · 20/08/2026 15:58

In a similar boat here, though TTC baby number 3 (I know the title said DC2, just the rest of your post really resonated!)

Had 2 EMCS and been trying to conceive for 9 months now with no hint of a line. The age gap thing is really worrying me, I really wanted them to be close in age so they have the same interests and could play together. Feeling so down about the whole thing. I wanted to TTC last year but it wasn’t the right time for a number of reasons so waited until December 2025 and have had absolutely no luck.

Also still breastfeeding my daughter, though only at night and my luteal phase is 14 days so feel it shouldn’t be affecting things? Don’t want to stop and then still not get pregnant, think that would be the worst of all worlds for me!

Am really worried that my second CS, which was performed very fast as her heartbeat was dropping, has really messed things up and I can’t conceive again. Been doing ovulation sticks, dtd every other day, hitting all the key days and nothing!! I thought I’d be given birth in September, instead I’m not even pregnant! My second was conceived very fast, and my first fairly quickly so don’t understand what has changed this time, other than the C-sections. So sorry for everyone else in this position ❤️

It’s so hard isn’t it! Wishing you all the best. Let’s hope things work out for us all exactly how and when they’re meant to.

It’s a shame how our attention can be fixed on the future child who isn’t there when we have our lovely babies in front of us! My lg does help take my mind off it all most of the time ❤️

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Original poster

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:24

Littlebundledueinsummer26 · 20/08/2026 12:32

I haven't read the entire thread but just wanted to pop on and say I had no luck conceiving dc2 until I completely cut out breastfeeding dc1 who had just turned 2, it was only 1 feed too within a 24 hour period.

I stopped abruptly (which caused crazy hormonal symptoms!) Then got a positive test the following month. Currently feeding our newborn now as we speak!

Good luck 😘

Very happy to hear this! Congratulations. It is definitely time! Eek

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Original poster

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:21

Mulledjuice · 20/08/2026 11:40

If i were you I'd get a blood work yp for both of you.

Despite breastfeeding your prolactin level might not be high enough to affect conception.

Back to basics - are you both as rested and relaxed as you can be, taking prenatal/conception vitamins + omega 3 + vitamin d? Plenty of exercise for DH?
Plenty of enjoyable sex throughout the month?

good intel thank you! Would that be privately?I feel quite rested and we eat very well. I think my dh doesn’t get great sleep and may have sleep apnea - he’s seeing a doc about it in a couple of weeks so we are doing a bit of an MOT! Dh gets a fair amount of exercise. I could def get more 😬

do you think I could get prolactin levels checked by gp?

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Original poster

ForestWren · 21/08/2026 21:17

Firsttimerugbymum · 20/08/2026 12:26

Update on the testing today - ultrasound done and I suppose good news that they didn't see any issues. Lining was a bit thin, but apparently for where I am in my cycle that is normal.

Awaiting the bloods and semen analysis next week

We do all seem to have had c sections, which is concerning....

That’s good news! Glad to hear it. And god luck with next week’s testing!

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Viviennemary · 21/08/2026 17:26

I'm not a medical person but I always thought breast feeding hindered conception. Even if you have periods you might not be ovulating.

Firsttimerugbymum · 21/08/2026 17:23

Does anyone have anything else I can try this month?

Already tried acupuncture for the last few months and no success. Feel like giving something else a go 🤣

MochaLove · 20/08/2026 22:46

ForestWren · 20/08/2026 11:32

I definitely went a bit mad when we were Ttc after the miscarriage. Lots of ovulation tests, bbt tracking, trying to get it in twice a day etc! But honestly - it worked. Don’t have the energy for all that this time!

I must have got 5dpo from somewhere, maybe my acupuncturist? I think it’s the time when you’d hope to implant, yes. I also had a holistic ‘native American’ treatment at the same time by accident. I went to an osteo and told him about my mc and he said he was also a healer so I said ‘why not!’ Maybe I’ll go back to him too!

Edited

Show quote history

Absolutely agree, no energy for that this time here either!

If we have no luck this month (not feeling hopeful currently!) I think I will look into acupuncture. I am sceptical as paid a lot to have it when my LG was breech and it didn’t work 😆 but even if it only relaxes me, at least I’ll feel like I’m giving something new that could help a try.

DraftLovely · 20/08/2026 17:45

Conceive plus lube has worked for me and my friends. Not a miracle cure but every little helps. Start trying before you think you're ovulating. Make sure both if you are taking vitamins and have good diets. Men's diets are important too for the process.

HelloDarknessmyoldfrenemy · 20/08/2026 15:58

In a similar boat here, though TTC baby number 3 (I know the title said DC2, just the rest of your post really resonated!)

Had 2 EMCS and been trying to conceive for 9 months now with no hint of a line. The age gap thing is really worrying me, I really wanted them to be close in age so they have the same interests and could play together. Feeling so down about the whole thing. I wanted to TTC last year but it wasn’t the right time for a number of reasons so waited until December 2025 and have had absolutely no luck.

Also still breastfeeding my daughter, though only at night and my luteal phase is 14 days so feel it shouldn’t be affecting things? Don’t want to stop and then still not get pregnant, think that would be the worst of all worlds for me!

Am really worried that my second CS, which was performed very fast as her heartbeat was dropping, has really messed things up and I can’t conceive again. Been doing ovulation sticks, dtd every other day, hitting all the key days and nothing!! I thought I’d be given birth in September, instead I’m not even pregnant! My second was conceived very fast, and my first fairly quickly so don’t understand what has changed this time, other than the C-sections. So sorry for everyone else in this position ❤️

Littlebundledueinsummer26 · 20/08/2026 12:32

I haven't read the entire thread but just wanted to pop on and say I had no luck conceiving dc2 until I completely cut out breastfeeding dc1 who had just turned 2, it was only 1 feed too within a 24 hour period.

I stopped abruptly (which caused crazy hormonal symptoms!) Then got a positive test the following month. Currently feeding our newborn now as we speak!

Good luck 😘

Firsttimerugbymum · 20/08/2026 12:26

Update on the testing today - ultrasound done and I suppose good news that they didn't see any issues. Lining was a bit thin, but apparently for where I am in my cycle that is normal.

Awaiting the bloods and semen analysis next week

We do all seem to have had c sections, which is concerning....

Original poster

ForestWren · 20/08/2026 11:41

thelifepursuit · 20/08/2026 09:58

I’m not quite in the same boat as haven’t been TTC long, but really relate to a lot of the sentiments here! It took us more than a year to conceive DD1 (now 19 months) and it’s always been at the back of my mind that having a 2nd baby could be another long process. She was also born by emergency C-section. We started trying for a 2nd recently and I’m currently in the TWW of cycle 3. Like you, I’m finding it tough mentally - one day the thought of another long TTC is my biggest worry, the next day it’s the thought of a toddler and a newborn! Wishing you all the best. I guess all we can do is stay calm and roll with whatever happens!

Yes I think once I am pregnant I will be overwhelmed by fear of having two little ones actually!

Really hope things move quickly for you. Three months is nice and early so you have lots of time ❤️

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