Trying for a second baby and feeling disheartened

We took 18 months to concieve our second so I understand all your feelings. Loads of my NCT friends got pregnant when we were trying. DS was just turned 3 when I finally got pregnant but actually the gap doesn't feel huge, they have a nice bond and play together. I loved being on mat leave when he started school and met loads of people with a 3 or 4 or 5 year gap (including actually the other half of my nct group who got pregnant after me) . So I wish I'd stressed less about the age gap.

Our issue was male factor in the end it turned out but we got lucky/ DH made some changes. I was 36 when I got pregnant. NHS can do bloods and sperm sample but not much else but it's a start.

So sorry you’re feeling like that @ForestWren, has your afternoon been any better? Is there definitely no more hope for you this month, is AF definitely arriving..?

things that helped me first time around when I also struggled TTC was planning a nice activity (usually involving alcohol!) as soon as AF arrived to “make the most” of not being pregnant whilst I still struggled to get there. Bit different when you’ve already got a toddler.. difficult to do! Wish I could say something to make it better but being in the same shoes, I know it’s just shit and it’s just a case of riding it out I guess?

you have a v good view on accepting an only child if it comes to that . I don’t have that myself at all. I’ve always wanted a big family. I think I’ve just left it too late for that to be straight forward…. Common problem these days

Also SO strong willed of you not to have tested yet despite being 12DPO! Everything crossed for you.

@ForestWreni feel for you - uncanny reading your post. I am in almost exactly the same boat, all the ages and dates basically the same as well. I was relentlessly DTD this month and yet just started bleeding 8dpo?! I’m so depressed. Exhausted. I’m going to contact the doctor next week but know they’re basically never helpful / take years with this stuff.

I’ve also massively reduced BF, boobs are mostly empty now anyway. Can I ask how you get your little one to sleep without BF now - how did you do the transition? That’s mostly the only “feed” I have left but not much comes out anyway. Thanks x

@ForestWrenMy FSH was much higher than it should have been- I was 31 at the time so it was a bit of a shock. I was meant to have it rechecked 6 weeks later but didn’t because I got pregnant in that time!
I didn’t actually revisit the issue until last year and was, subsequently, diagnosed with POI at almost 40. However, I have had hypothyroidism for many years and this is recognised as being an influencer of early menopause. That being said, I still have regular periods now and did manage conceive, so who knows??
I hope this doesn’t scare you- the numbers from the tests do not always mean something either way, and my experience is proof of that. At the same time, it’s worth asking for the GP to have a look, as some things can be fairly easily addressed.
Good luck with it all 🍀

@ForestWrenit took me 11 cycles to conceive my second. I did have some hormonal issues that were picked up at the end of this time, and so did some research about what could help. Read about acupuncture so took myself off to have a session of that- conceived the next month! I’ll never know it was coincidence or not, but just doing something extra to potentially help things along also made me feel more in control. I’d recommend giving it a go, if you can afford it

What vitamins is everyone trying?

I started some new ones last month but they seem to have caused some pre period spotting so wondering whether to stop

9dpo here and bfn. Pretty sure it's not my month and finding it all very negative

Sorry to hear about the blood tests - it sounds like you are in a similar place to use as our miscarriage baby would have been born in January. We are keeping everything open until we've been trying at least a year and then will consider IVF

How are things going for you?

I had some bloods and they’re abnormal so we may be facing IVF or similar. Going to give it a few months and lose some weight and then look into it properly in the new year. Devastating though as I should’ve been having a baby in January

Not really. Main symptoms are very heavy and painful periods. I would say mine are pretty heavy for a day or two but not insanely so. And not especially painful. Treatment seems to only be for the symptoms as far I can tell.

Overall relatively positive outcome. I was terrified it was the niche thing and that therefore it was caused by my decision to have a x section (in the midst of a failed induction).

Sounds positive at least that it wasn't the issue you were concerned about and they were positive.

2dpo here so another tww but not feeling optimistic after DHs test results last week

I went for the scan. Good news is I don’t have the niche things. Ovaries all looking healthy and with follicles as expected.

She did find some adenomyosis. I think that can make it harder to conceive but was given the impression there’s not really a treatment for it beyond treating symptoms and she said it’s def not a red line against getting pregnant.

Hi all, I am also struggling with TTC number 2. LO is 15 months old and we’ve been trying since the spring. We really wanted an 18 month gap and it was happening but then I had a chemical. I am also still breastfeeding. Didn’t have a c section but had forceps. This is our last chance to have 2 under 2 and it’s making me so sad. It happened month 1 with DC1 but I was 25 and now I’m coming up 28

I have contacted a local clinic and for £250 they can do a scan that the lady is confident would diagnose it if there and will also be able to have a look at general state of ovaries etc.

This is what I’m worried about too! It does seem to be a common reason for secondary / unexplained infertility following a C-section. I’ve seen so many posts on here about it! But it seems a long road to get that diagnosed as the problem and then even longer to fix it.

Also been trying for 9 months and absolutely nothing. It is so hard, 9 months feels like an age. Sorry you are feeling so shitty. It really does suck.

Yes he is the father of my first, born Jan 24 so guess three years ago now

In one way I'm glad as at least we know and can target things, rather than the disappointment every month.

We will try some supplements and lifestyle changes and do another test in 3 months, but not feeling overly optimistic as we already don't drink, smoke, have caffeine

There's nothing that's changed, except obviously we are older and more tired! Maybe that is enough to have an impact - reading through the threads after searching it does seem common