I'm scared of imminent labour! Help!

hang on i mean
rasberry leaf tea

tea!

dinny how are you?
one thing i didnt say was that i drank BUCKETLOADS of rasberry laef tae near the end of my pgs and my first stage was just fine each time
the midwives both times were shocked at how dilated i was and how calm/well i was handling it
sure it was the rlt
good luck dinny hope youre ok

dinny, I haven't read all this thread but I agree with you, I was terrified when I was due to give birth. Especially the second and third times when I knew how painful it was going to be. I think it's absolutely natural and normal to be frightened, IMO it's just that people don't talk about it much for fear of criticism.

I hope by the time I post this it will all be over and you will be rocking your lovely new baby in your arms. That's how we are supposed to forget the labour, isn't it?

dinny youll be fine
i tried for nat birth but pleaded for pr very near end each time.....with the peth. dds delivery was actually a pleasure much to my shock and awe !
sure youll be fine good luck and lots of hugs!!
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think everyone gets scared but the waay i dealt with it was why waste my energy worrying about the inevitable and try to focus it positively ....telling myself that it 'll be fine and that i can do it and it was and i did !!

dear dinny just thought of something else -youre amazing doing your first labour without any pain relief -second time round 'll be a breeze compared to this especially if you have some painrelief/ pethedine -you might actually enjoy it!

Hi Dinny, I was wondering about you last night. You really are nearly there now but I know this last bit is horrible. Sorry you're still feeling worried, I really know the feeling and sympathise. Are they the same worries or new ones?

yes lowryn im glad you could back me up -that its usually easier second time round -anyone else?
and on the gas and air subject- i didnt like it on the first few tentative mouthfuls but after a few large inhilations it was fantastic and helped with the pain of the last few large contractions very well

Definitely earlygirl, much easier second time round for me too. I think part of it is that your body has remembered what to do and becomes more efficient - a bit like atheletes' muscle memory.
DD's labour was a nightmare as she was 10lbs and got stuck. DS (now 4mnths) was also 10lbs, but whole labour was under 5hrs from waters going to screaming bubba. I felt more in control this time, knew what pushing was supposed to feel like and also found gas and air more effective.
I was petrified about doing it all again, but you just soldier on don't you.
Main thing to do is to be relaxed and to try and take your mind somewhere else.

ps dd was bigger(pound and a half at 8 lbs)than ds and she came out much easier!!

dinny during my last pg -dd now 4 mnts - i managed to make it to to one yoga class, the teacher was an inspiration a totally positive (tiny!)lady who had natural home birth with twins

she was so positive that i kept her words in my head for the last few weeks of my labour and during the birth-i remember her saying that you musn't be frightened to let your body open up that its perfectley natural and possible and female bodies are made for this(so its basically saying to yourself'i can do this and my body can do this too')

i think most people find too that it is MUCH easier second time round ( can anyone back me up on this?)as your body knows what is expected of it( i see it like your body having a memory of what it has to do)

my first birth wasnt the easiest ds took a long time -lot of pushing- and during 2nd labour i was most scared of the last stage of actually delivering dd-and it was easy compared to the first time-she shot out with hardly any pushing!-it was much much easier than 1st time!

if you ring the midwifes as soon as you go into labour and tell them how you are feeling -hopefully youll get someone who is sympathetic to you(remember you can ask to change the midwife you get if you dont like her/him) -does the hospital have a water pool i found this fantastic for relaxation

you will be ok -take whatever painrelief you feel i had pethedine and it was fine i felt nice and relaxed the next day too dd was more than fine sleepy the first day(which was actually great)but she made up for that feeding well and only losing 1 oz in first 2 weeks!
i was trying for a natural birth with dd (i had a last min epidural with ds as he turned sideways and i couldnt push him)- with dd i went without painrelief until 30 mins before the end until the mw said she'd turned too and i totally panicked(wish i hadnt cause there was no need )and demanded pain relief was a bit mad at myself cause i let my +ive thinking slip-as my lovely yoga teacher said its a mind game you have to believe you can do it- cause you can do it-
concentrate on your breathing too to relax(very important!) ps id choose pethedine rather than and epidural everytime

good luck dinny hth
cant wait for your baby dinny post

one last thing focus on the baby not yourself this makes it a lot easier- DONT FORGET that blissful ending -that of course makes it all worth- it with beautiful baby dinny in your arms -meeting her /him at last
hugs{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}} xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dinny - I don't see any reason why you wouldn't cope, but since you didn't have pain relief last time, I think Pethidine would be enough to help you through.
Labour is usually a lot more efficient second time around. Contractions do not need to be as strong to make the cervix dilate. Trust in yourself. I am sure you will mange fine once you get going

oh i agree re the gas and air, i hated it last time but it worked very well for me this time round.

Dinny - habe just read through this thread. All the things I would suggest are here. It is so common to worry about dying, because you already have a child your sense of responsibility is really strong. I rememeber having nightmares of dying after I had my secong child. It is a natural fear and a normal sensation to have at this time. However, it is not normal to let it take over your thoughts. Make sure you speak about it with your midwife and doula. Talking always helps. If it is something that really concerns you, you may need an appointyment with a psychologist. That is something that has been arranged for our women in the past.

As for the pain side of things, I would really recommend that you try gas and air again before pethidine. When it is breathed properly it is really effective and does not affect the baby. I had a woman last week who was really scared of the pain because she had felt out of control the first time round. She had found she couldn't use the gas and air first time. The problem was that she only tried to use it when she was extremely sore. What I did was talk in through with her and let her practice it before needing it. When she did decide she wanted to use it she found it very effective.

I also recommend the pool too. At our hospital you can use the pool even though you need antibiotics for groupB.

Glad you have your doula and midwives you can trust. Remember to eat in early labour and stay as mobile as you can. Transition does not last as long second time round and can actually be so fast you miss it!

Try to relax and enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy. Best wishes, mears.

Can someone please enlighten me as to why I opened this thread when I am 39 weeks and counting?????? Stupid woman that I am. Pah.

You'll be FINE! We've all been there, done that (you, too!) & been scared witless but you can do it and you WILL do it. The hard part comes after... night feeds, temper tantrums, fevers, etc. and of course, the teens! Ha!

Hang on in there dinny - the book was posted today!