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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Broody for no. 3 but worried about past experiences!

30 replies

tatcity · 21/04/2004 22:16

Ok, sorry if this is long, but I need to get this off my chest. I'm on and off broody for another - have 4.5 year old and 18 month old. But really worried about whether I should consider this at all.

Had borderline pre eclampsia with DD1 and even though waters had broken in hospital - was still induced which resulted in extremely quick labour (officially 3 hours) - episiotomy which resulted in 3rd degree tear. No problems after that but waa advised when pregnant with DD2 to have elective C Section (by consultant NOT midwife). Was so scared about possible consequences of another tear, decided to go ahead with section.

Unfortunately that wasn't very pleasant either, as I felt pain during the procedure - they gave me extra drugs to combat this - but still found the whole thing frightening and would definitely not want another C Section. Also got an infection in the wound, which although wasn't serious and healed on its own - made me very anxious and a bit depressed for a while - feeling I had "failed" and that I should have ignored doc's advice and gone down the "natural" route.

Too late for all that now - I know, and I ended up with 2 happy healthy girls at the end of it so can't complain.

BUT I do worry about future births. When I hear stories of natural deliveries I feel really envious and wonder if I could achieve this. What are my chances of having a natural delivery after C Section? And also what are the chances re. tearing again? I would really be very frightened if for any reason I would need a C section again.

Does anyone have any experiences or opinions on these subjects.

I know a lot of people have much worse experiences than these, but I do feel I got a raw deal on both counts which I guess was just unlucky.

Any comments appreciated. In the meantime hopefully my broodiness for another will disappear once my PMT is out of the way!

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jac34 · 25/04/2004 10:51

I have DS twins now 5yo who were delivered by planned c section. I had a great pregnancy, no morning sickness, fit and well all the way through, birth was fine and I recovered from section very quickly.I'd love another, if I could get DH to agree, but have a worry that if it was so good last time, will it be a nightmare this time !!!!
Perhaps, you should talk to your GP first and seek some advice, as to whether to go for a section or viginal birth.

Jimjams · 25/04/2004 10:39

I am pregnant with number 3 following 2 sections. `First was emergency and fine- second elective an awful. NOw I'm pregnant with number 3 I can safely say I am terrified. But I guess I have noc choice. I would like 3 children- and then I know I would feel complete iyswim (and dh has agreed to the snip!)

I'm going to try and talk to someone about it as I suspect i am getting risks etc out of all proportion. I think I'd like to try a VBAC but then that terrifies me as well!

HOwever I know that by this time next year I will hopefully have a third baby and not have to think about this again iyswim. I've felt broody, but anxious about another birth since ds2 was born. But I've always felt 3 would be it iyswim.

BTW just spoken to a friend due next week and she is also terrified (her 2nd). Same as me she's worried about beleding to death (!!!) I've been feeling a bit insane the last couple of days so it was brilliant to find out her fears were the same as mine.
So if you do join us- we can be scared together.

smellymelly · 22/04/2004 19:57

Meant to read HARD birth not hatd!!

smellymelly · 22/04/2004 19:57

I can't help on the c-section, I have heard it is poss to have a natural birth after c/s but I don't actually know anyone who has managed it.

I had 3rd degree tear with 1st born, and was a pretty hatd birth, went on for 36 hours, and I threw up for the last 12 hours etc. But by 2nd I knew so much more, it lasted only 8hrs, and was very calm and relaxed,I also asked them to slow me down when dd was delivered, so I only got a tiny tear, which they allowed heal naturally.

It turned out to be the best experience I ever had....

By the way my 2 are exactly the same age as yours and today I found out I'm pregnant again...Yippee!!!!!!

WideWebWitch · 22/04/2004 18:44

Hi Tatcity, I can't answer your questions but sorry you had such a hard time. If you search on VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian) you should find some previous discussions on this subject. Is fear of birth the only reason you don't want another or are there other issues too? Hope someone else can help.