pain of childbirth

bloss if you are still there I know this probably won't make you feel any better but I do remember very well all about your labours and how the second was just as awful and how you felt so terribly bad about it. I don't know if you ever really "get over" such severe trauma ( about birth or about anything) and I do understand your thoughts it might be better not to read these threads because sometimes just blocking out the bad memories is the only thing you can do.
I've shed a wee tear for you and tonight I'll say a wee prayer xx
Hope you and your lovely babes are doing fine

Marsup ... I didn't feel any after pains at all after DS ... but then I had a c/s ... Does anyone know if you only get them after a 'normal' birth??

found the contractions perfectly bearable but the crowning unbelieveably intense and painful. but very shortlived thank god.

marsup, willow is right afterpains are contractions that help the uterus shrink (can last up to 3 or 4 days after the birth) ...but its is quite common for first time mums not to feel them, they get worse with each baby. I don't remember feeling them at all with first (not so lucky second time round). You do feel them more though if and as you breastfeed.

It does seem to be true though that you really do forget the pain.

Hi Marsup - as I understand it, afterpains are the uterus contracting and shrinking back to non-pregnant size. By the way, don't get yourself in a tizz - every labour is different and nearly everyone posting on this thread had a really positive experience. Hope you do too

I'm at 29 weeks with first baby and have just read this thread and gone cold with dread. Should have waited till afterwards. Can some one tell me what these 'afterpains' are? is that the placenta coming out? never heard of that bit.

Surely, surely they do local anesthetic for the crowning????

...don't think I know what pain is at the moment. I sprained my ankle once, does that count?

Lol @ CAM and Northerner. My photos after DD's birth are awful too. They were taken the next morning (DD born by CS during the night after 3 days of failed inductions) and I look washed out, tired, pale and ill! Don't remember feeling that way with DD snuggled up to me though.

Oh Bloss, I don't know your history but I'm so sorry this thread made you feel shit and made you cry . Hopefully you'll soon be able to say it just doesn't matter, the here and now is what's important. I hope that happens for you in the near future.

LOL Cam. My post birth photos are awful! If I'd have had my wits about me I would have banned cameras in the delivery suite. I looked liked sh**. I had burst loads of blood vessels on my face from pushing, and I can't believe how puffed and swollen I look. My Mum kept telling me I looked beautiful, dh told me I looked like crap!

What I find doesn't match my memories when I look at photos is how s**t I looked after giving birth! I went from looking blooming and glowing (before labour) to looking pale and totally exhausted, even though I had 2 normal deliveries and only very painful for last 20 minutes.

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It is isn't it Doormat. I remeber saying, well it was more of a wich like hiss through gritted teeth, to DP in middle of it all - don't ever expect me to do this again. Then a few days later I was gagging to be pregnant again. Now nearly 2 years on I look back on the whole thing with a warm glow (and rose tinted glasses!)and can't wait to do it all again!!!!!

IMO the contractions, back pain,stitches, the horrid drip, placenta coming out etc etc was a bloody doddle compared to that point of the "crowning" of the head.
I screamed for my life each time as I have never known a pain like it and my dh had bald patches on his head from where I was grabbing hold of him.
But the funny thing about giving birth is when you hold the newborn in your arms the pain is secondary and easily forgotten.

I had a back labour which was excrutiating and I could barely breathe with each contraction.

Oh boy did I scream - not cos I wanted to but it was certainly an uncontrollable, primal thing. I kept apologising to the midwife but he (and he was brilliant) just kept saying. 'You just scream all you like petal!'

I tried gas and air, TENS, the pool and Meptid and nothing helped. I was about to get an epidural when I had to push. Luckily I only had about 3-4 pushes before ds born. An hour of stitching afterwards though...

just have to add, my midwife went off duty at 8 but stayed till i had my dd, funnily enough she was the one i leaned on most and wanted there (even though dp and my mam were there) i found her presence a comfort! I will always remember how lovely she was!

Thomcat me too!, i'm sure i bored people silly constantly talking about the birth of my dd

i was 7 cm dilated when i went to hospital so had dd really quick with just gas and air.(although i had the pethidine ready, midwife holding it-fortunately i had a great midwife who kept telling me between contractions that i didn't really want it!). I must've been in labour for quite a while and as others have said i kept thinking"this can't be it" I took our dog for a walk (with dp) at 4 then at 5started bleeding quite heavy and was told to go in and dd was born at 8.58! I think i was lucky and pray next time goes the same Hope you are o'k Bez and find these messages reassuring!

Sorry, bloss, I wasn't making myself clear - I meant that the expectation that the water must do something meant that I got through escalating levels of pain without screaming GET ME OUT OF HERE, which I think I might have done without something to look forward to.

Think the trick with home birth is just to be at home when you get to the stage you'd leap at any available drugs. Mind you, I am a complete wuss with pain, as I frequently repeat!

Do you know what I've realised - I bloody love talking about and remembering the birth of my DD.
I could discuss birth stories all day any day!
Looking back on it is just so lovely!!

Yours sounds similar to mine Thomcat, apart from the 'this can't be it' part . It hurt like hell but I knew that would be the case anyway and had 'prepared' myself as far as is possible. Looking back it couldn't have gone any better for us. It was exactly the birth I'd wanted.

I also had the same experience as Thomcat - kept thinking 'this can't really be it, can it' as I was expecting it to be worse. Not sure I was so outwardly serene, my DP got onto the phone about 40 minutes after I'd told him it was getting extreme - it was DD's due date, and following all of the advice we'd planned a nice meal out, but thank god changed our minds at the last minute, cancelled the table and bought all of the ingredients for a fantastic meal at home. I'd been looking forward to dressing up etc, so we still got dressed up - yes, I would be the one who went into labour wearing a ballgown, rolling around on a beanbag at home... DP talked to the midwife who suggested we left it another couple of hours, but he insisted we went into the hospital then. She spoke to me on the phone and said 'yes, I think we'd better see you, just in case' so, ballgown and all we got in the car, with me cursing DP everytime we went over a bump for putting me through this so early on. I was convinced it was bad indigestion or something and they would send me straight home, instead there was less than an hour between arrival at hospital and DD's birth, the delivery room and turned on the taps before even looking at me. So I guess on reflection my experience was that it was uncomfortable but not extreme pain until the last thirty minutes of labour.

WSM - I would not / could not lay down either. Even when my midwife was examining me - she tried to get me on my back but there was no way! I had my DD standing up - felt so right - for me. I also only had one midwife and was in a lovley room that smelt of lavender with low lighting and a pretty bedspread!!

It is painful, but like earlier posters have said it is a pain with a purpose, and you know its going to last a limited time. I had a painful illness that started about a year ago, and I found the pain a lot more difficult to deal with than childbirth, even though it was less intense, because I had no idea how long it would go on for or if it would ever end.

I don't remember any stinging/burning, but I had a great waterbirth, unlike Bloss, so perhaps that helped - (I'm so sorry about your experience, it would have devestated me). I agree with pupuce about the comforting presence though - our midwife coincidentally happened to be someone from my hometown, who I knew very vauguely from school - she was older, but I instinctively connected with and trusted her. We were only at the hospital for about an hour before DD was born, but up until the action really intensified she stayed very much in the background, coming forward occassionally to check the temperature of the water or ask me or DP a question. If she wasn't panicking, there didn;'t seem any reason for us to.