Parents in law mispronounce daughter’s name

I love this! It’s a beautiful name op. I have French in laws and dd has a name, which is pronounced the same or near as damn in both languages. It irks me when some of dh’s relatives never made an effort with my name, which is only one syllable. So I didn’t want to be permanently annoyed.

It amuses me that OP is calling her relatives controlling.

they flip between called her ‘add-eh-lin’ and ‘add-eh-leen’ more than her actual name.

So sometimes they say it how you like.

We politely correct them every time and reiterate that there are a few pronunciations

Every time? How tedious for them. Meanwhile, you aren't saying the other pronunciations don't exist or invalid, while it's not like they started calling her "Catherine" instead.

You are very stubborn about this & seemingly happy to escalate infinitely and keep it as a conflict issue. Do you know you'll encounter the other pronunciation constantly in your DDs life? Do you really want to insist on this battle with close relatives you can't get rid of.

When your DD is older if she doesn't like their pronunciation then she will rebuke them and get them to change. This is not a good hill to die on until then.

No one in my family who insisted their kid was Xxxxxx not Xxxxxy (variant pronunciation) as a name ever won the battle with all other relatives.

My DF's side of the family mispronounced and misspelled my name for years as they didn't like it.

All it achieved was that when I was old enough to notice, I didn't like them as I could see their lack of effort.

Turns out it was my DF that chose the name as well.

I’ve only ever heard OPs way of saying it. I’ve never heard Adde-lin…

Madeleine and Pauline don’t even rhyme… madeleine is also pronounced Line Or Lin while Pauline is Leen.

There’s a whole film ‘Age of Adeline’ where it’s pronounced Line. It’s the most common pronunciation.

I wouldn’t bother worrying about this. It doesn’t matter and your kid won’t care unless you care. My kids have relatives from different countries, we’ve never minded what they called the kids and no ones minded. They show they care about the kids in other ways.

The kid will definitely care. People mispronounced my name (making it a completely different name) growing up and it’s super annoying and feels like they don’t love you enough to remember your name.

Yes actually you are right...my mistake, but that was what came to mind so how I would pronounce it is the way Op chose

This is absolutely brilliant.

Some people learn from the look of words, some from the sound. It is feasible that if they have another pronunciation attached to the written name they will ‘read it’ wrong every time. I know people who cannot remember words by sound, so repeatedly mispronounce the same word.

But everyone can learn through poems and songs and everyone knows Sweet Caroline.

Love Adeline (and Adela) btw.

They are unusual in knowing an Adelyn. More commonly, lots of people know a Madeleine, fewer a Madeline. A lot of people would get Madeline wrong.

Carry on as if you’re trying to help them - because there is genuine cause for confusion here. Be patient and helpful but very firm.

Add-eh-leen is prettier though. Otherwise it sounds like you’re adding a line to something, a spreadsheet perhaps!

Oh dear. A mean person.

We had an issue with DHs parents when our first children were born. Not quite the same issue as yours, but something where we had different views to them, had asked them to do something simple which respected our view, but they kept pushing back. Eventually, I telephoned MIL just before they came for a stay and clearly, but politely set out our request for their behaviour during the stay. She had no come back, agreed to our request and respected it during the stay and from then on. Sometimes you just need to politely but firmly call the behaviour, set your boundary, and let the other person know what the consequence will be if they can’t respect your boundary. I like what a previous poster said - let them know their mispronunciation upsets you and if they continue you’ll assume they intend to upset you.

They're probably doing it to piss you off as they can tell how precious you are about it. Stop correcting them and let little Addie fight her own battles when she's old enough, if she cares to.

Adding a lean is worse! Ad-uh-lynn is better than that.

Adeline makes me think of Ottoline and Edwardian ladies. While Addie is very now. It’s a great combination.

Nah. You're wrong. It’s definitely add-e-line. I know a couple of little girls with that name.

Also, it’s 100% up to the parents to choose which pronunciation to use, so the in-laws don’t get a free pass to be dicks about it.

Are you also a dick in real life like them or would you be normal and polite and accept the OP’s choice of pronunciation?? 🤔

Whatever your PIL’s names are, give them an ‘ine’ ending. Kevine, Valerine, Mickine, Margaretine…,

Isn’t Madeline (similar to Adeline) either Mad-eh-line or Mad-eh-Lin? Never heard of Mad-eh-leen. I have a name that’s sometimes mispronounced. If someone doesn’t get it after me correcting them twice then I know they’re doing it on purpose.

Add e Lyn is what would come naturally to me

add e line would be quite an awkward mouth movement

just call her addie and don’t make a fuss and it will sort itself out

my brain really struggles to remember pronunciation - I have a couple of friends for whom I know their name is one of 2 or 3 options but can never remember which is which. I don’t know why. It happens with other words too so I don’t expect that both in laws have that , but for other people don’t always assume it’s deliberate

I think its a beautiful name

Just wanted to say I love your daughter's name!

This!

Add uh leen like Madd uh leen????

The OP has already acknowledged there are a couple of different pronunciations but they have gone with Adeline, like Caroline.

Like me, they've probably only every known it as Ade-lin or Ade-leen therefore finding it difficult to break the habit and saying it your way. The fact that they say Ade-line sometimes would support that. Just be patient and use some of the less aggressive suggestions here.

How can I get through to them that I would really really prefer them to call her by her correct name, or simply by her nickname, Addie?

You can't because this is not about the name, this is about power and control.

What a ridiculous comment.