Reasons not to share your baby name in advance

Well, why would you? I mean, lots of people don’t choose a name in advance of giving birth. You have weeks to register the baby. We didn’t finally decide until we were on our way to register DS. It’s not like a newborn is going to have an identity crisis if people aren’t addressing him by name.

You haven't decided.
You may choose a name depending on who your baby most looks like.

I am sure there are other reasons.

1. avoiding awkward moments. “Ah…yes….its an…interesting name”
2. you might change your mind

They will have their baby first and use the name when they previously wouldn't have thought of it.

They will say they don't like it in a way that will put you off the name.

They will mishear it and buy/make personalised items for baby Amelia or Emelia when she's going to be Emilia.

You might change your mind.
People might feel entitled to give you their (negative) views- that's much harder when the baby is actually here.
Because you don't want to.

I think people feel more comfortable giving their (negative) opinion on a name before the baby is born. I have no real interest in other people’s opinions on almost anything to do with my children.
I preferred to announce the name alongside the arrival of the baby, no discussions, that is their name, me and their father have chosen, and if you don’t like it, well, we couldn’t care less!

We didn’t because;
We didn’t even find out the sex, pre-birth. I kept a distinction. Between pregnancy and the birth of the baby.
And if I had known the sex we wouldn’t have told anyone. I can’t stand the way the sexist chat starts even pre-birth with everyone projecting stereotypes etc and buying pink / blue stuff
Announcing name choices invokes views, judgement, the idea that naming is some sort of committee decision. We did have general name discussion but never announced our preferences
Once a baby is born people are more likely to accept a name and not voice any disapproval as the baby itself is the focus.

My DM was disparaging about every single name we aired so when we got to the final 3 names we didn't mention them.

In our nct group there we a name gazumping where a couple who had their baby earlier used the name a separate couple had been clear they were using with their baby who hadn't been born yet. It caused quite a stir.

@ChakaKan , I think asking on here can be good but usually the focus is on how the first name flows with the middle name without considering the surname.
Isaac James is fine but Isaac Cox isn't.

My DD’s paternal grandma can’t keep her mouth shut and likes to post everything on fb so she was one of the last to find out about baby’s sex, name, birth etc.

Other people make negative comments in advance that they wouldn't with a fait accompli (sp, can't be bothered to look it up)

Similar ,trying to get you to change your mind.

There was a MN poster whose Mum got a tattoo of the expected baby’s name as a ‘surprise’ - only to discover that they had changed their mind and named the baby something else. The Mum was insistent that they revert to tattoo name 🤣

People might make negative comments. You might change your mind.

Just tell people you haven't decided yet.

Telling people youve chosen it and refusing to divulge just comes across as arsey.

Off the top of my head:

1. you might change your mind once they’re here
2. negative opinions beforehand
3. people who can’t keep it to themselves
4. the beginnings of boundaries - you will be offered opinions on parenting by all and sundry, and you need to get used to smiling, nodding, ignoring and saying no
5. everyone wants a piece of a newborn - yes it’s exciting, but sometimes you need to keep things just in your little family, not everything has to be shared

It depends if you’re bothered. I personally also don’t care what randoms on the internet think of my choice of baby names, you could post any name on here and there would be someone who hated it. If we like it, that’s good enough for us. We always felt capable of spotting potential name issues e.g Mike Hunt. It crops up naturally when you’re discussing names doesn’t it? Doesn’t everyone test them out with the surname etc, write it down, say it aloud?

Also I don’t particularly care about middle names. They are hardly ever used and I don’t even know most of my friends / extended family’s middle names. So another thing I think of as a non issue - pick one you like, or don’t - they’re not compulsory

I remember asking someone if they had names lined up and they said a girl's name and a boy's name. Both nice names.
The girl's name was one with an obvious short version (eg. Rosalind - Ros). I said 'Rosalind's beautiful but she'll be Ros'.
The mother-to-be pulled a face.
The baby born about a fortnight later was a boy.
He is now an adult known by the obvious diminutive of his name (eg Dan short for Daniel).

Not the actual names.

@ChakaKan , I agree with you but I wish my parents had had Baby names to ask.
DC have run-of-the-mill, easy to spell and say first names, and no middle name for a reason.

I have a really sensible, intelligent relative, who was planning Oscar Ward, middle name Abraham.

It took another relative to point out that their name would be Oscar A Ward

They changed it.

I’m wondering if you have a name that sounds like a euphemism now 😂

I also think people can be very rude and snobby about kids names - I personally don’t like 99% of names and wouldn’t choose them but they’re not my kids so what’s the point in vocalising that? The only genuine opinion I would give on a baby name would be if I loved it. Otherwise I’d say “that’s nice” and leave the parents with the freedom to choose the name they loved - their kids after all.

Again, how frequently would the child be referred to by their full name but with just the initial for the middle name? Unless they were John F Kennedy? I just don’t think it matters, it would need to be pointed out to most people. Middle names are rarely even mentioned let alone initialised

No but it doesn't really flow or sound nice. The first and middle name together were fine. The first name and surname not fine.

Because it’s lovely to see the baby and have a double check that the name feels the right fit.

People are more likely to change your mind based on their opinion if you state in advance.

Having said that I’d just say “we’re still working on a shortlist” rather than “we’ve firmly decided the full band but don’t want to tell you”.

Quite I know someone with ASS as initials. He made a joke that his parents got him a monogrammed bath robe as a child that had ASS on it but other than that it was never an issue.

@PleaseDontAsk , I went to a school where there wasn't much diversity in surnames so middle names were often used. We even had teachers with the same names e.g. David Roberts (English) and David Roberts (Physics).

If you were something like Noah James Smith or Olivia Rose Taylor, you'd probably have a namesake at the school and maybe one in your year.

(changed the names involved)