Children being allowed to go to the toilet at school

Ah, well as long as you're okay then. Never mind about others. It's okay if some people don't want to stand up for their rights, but at least don't complain when others do. People of any age have the right to go to the toilet when they need to. And not everyone can hold it. Sometimes it just hits you instantly too.

What is your opinion on children being allowed to go to the toilet during lesson time at school?

Dd is 11 and recently stated year 7.

The toilets are locked during lesson time. The teachers do not let them leave class to go. If they do have to go in an emergency they get a negative log, even if they have a toilet pass it’s still logged.

Dd has always had a sensitive digestive system and will often need to poo multiple times a day, sometimes she’s have to hold it in and then end up constipated. She also gets desperate for a wee especially around her totm.

She said the queues are often too long to go at break so she’s having to hold it in all lesson, she’s getting stressed and upset.

I spoke to the school about a toilet pass but they have said you must provide medical evidence.

She doesn’t have a diagnosed medical condition though, she just needs to go a lot.

I have severe IBS and an overactive bladder but I wasn’t diagnose until I was in my thirties.

Aibu to take her to the doctors? The trouble is I don’t know if there is anything medically wrong and I don’t want her out on tablets, also she feels embarrasses to say she gets a dodgy stomach she’s self conscious like most kids would be.

But it feels like pushing for a medical diagnosis is the only way to get her the support she needs.

Shouldn’t even need to do any of that! What the hell. My child would be getting told if you need the toilet then get up and go!! It’s a basic human right. What if a child is sick and needs to vomit and theyr locked?! Absolutely ridiculous

You sound as though working in a school has made you really bitter.

It’s completely unfair to tar everyone with the same brush. I have bladder and bowel problems, I’m not unemployable I’ve been employee since I was 14. I’ve never been stopped from using the toilet.

You mentioned that you’re 60 and only use the toilet once. You can understand that not everyone is the same as you? Even for people without any kind of disability it can be completely normal to go to the toilet a lot more than you need to.

And yes, toilet problems can make trips tricky for some people. It shouldn’t rule school trips out though. Any school trips my dc have ever been on there has been more toilet access than there is in a typical school day where they are expected to go from 8.30 until 1pm.

This is a national problem. It's not one school. It's almost all of them. For whatever reason, a small but significant percentage of children have been raised in a way that leads them to behave like this. Schools used to function however they did because parents would raise their children to behave properly, but a ridiculous number of parents now believe that it's solely the school's job to teach a child to behave (while also trying to stop us at every step of the way when we try to implement consequences).

This is a national societal issue, not one or two schools just losing control.

I’m not saying that what you’re saying isn’t true, but I don’t recall this ever being an issue when I was at school.

We could go to the toilet at the teachers discretion, they only ever said no if it was a kid who was always trying it on.

What is going on that this is such an issue these days?

There are a few doctors surgeries now who have issued statements stating that they will not give medical letters to schools to allow toilet use. Hopefully all surgeries will issue them and our children can use the toilet as it shouldn't need medical authorisation for a natural bodily function.

Push back.

This is a national problem. It's not one school. It's almost all of them. For whatever reason, a small but significant percentage of children have been raised in a way that leads them to behave like this. Schools used to function however they did because parents would raise their children to behave properly, but a ridiculous number of parents now believe that it's solely the school's job to teach a child to behave (while also trying to stop us at every step of the way when we try to implement consequences).

This is a national societal issue, not one or two schools just losing control.

Are kids not vandalising the toiles during break and lunch?

Toilets are generally supervised during break and lunch but not at other times as the teachers are teaching and the support staff are doing their jobs.

I'm getting really fed up with people who do not work in schools telling us what we should be doing, both with regard to the students and our own situations. We're not idiots. We don't hate kids. We don't want to see anyone distressed and we dont want to be uncomfortable ourselves. But without seismic, systemic change which none of us in classrooms can effect, we are managing as best we can. Do you not think we try to talk to our managers and governors?

Can I ask you, how do you feel now about your job with all that's going on? You must feel completely demoralised? I know so many people who have gone into teaching wanting to make a difference and have got to the point where they don't even like kids anymore and in a lot of cases you can't blame them. I'm 56 and still remember the teachers who made a difference. How do you cope, your mental health must suffer?

I concentrate on the students, but I'm old and have been doing it for years. We suspended some girls for toilet vandalism. We had left free sanpro in the toilets; they'd unwrapped it all and stuffed it down the toilets and sinks.
Every parent of the girls complained, and one wants to take legal action. This is with cctv evidence and the girls admitting it. I cannot tell you the number of emails we have to wade through, most of it complaints about trivia.

We don't have any ability to give meaningful consequences. The child is excluded for x number of days while we receive a barrage of abuse from parents who either don't think their precious angel would do anything wrong or who don't think there's anything wrong with what they did.

Hi Op I’ve not read the full thread. However my DD is similar. I contacted my Gp who basically said no it’s not her role to provide this information & it’s school’s responsibility to facilitate this and it’s a basic human right. I can’t remember the exact wording I used but I did say could she have a toilet pass for the first term then we review it.
we got one and she uses it most days so I now need to get it renewed. Stand firm. If you want me to message you what I put in my email I can but I just found some stuff off google.