To wonder why his Tinder messages have disappeared one day before date?

AmberCatz · 2026-10-17T20:32:36+00:00

I'm due to meet this guy I matched with on Tinder tomorrow night. We moved to whatsapp after about four days and have chatted on there over the last week. We last confirmed final meeting details last night. Well I've just noticed tonight he has disappeared as a Tinder match and all our messages gone too! Would you say something or assume the date is still on? It seems unlikely he would have deleted his profile but at the same time why unmatch me before the date?

CinnamonBuns67 · Yesterday 21:41

Just ask. Maybe he's decided that he'd rather see where things go with you so has put the online dating on pause for a bit. A quick "Hey are we still on for tomorrow?" Or if you want to wait until tomorrow "Hey are we still up for (activity) later?" over WhatsApp should do it. He'll either confirm, Say no or not answer (in which case assume it's not)

Original poster

AmberCatz · Yesterday 21:46

CinnamonBuns67 · Yesterday 21:41

Just ask. Maybe he's decided that he'd rather see where things go with you so has put the online dating on pause for a bit. A quick "Hey are we still on for tomorrow?" Or if you want to wait until tomorrow "Hey are we still up for (activity) later?" over WhatsApp should do it. He'll either confirm, Say no or not answer (in which case assume it's not)

Thanks @CinnamonBuns67

yeah maybe I'll just send a quick message in the morning but not mention the Tinder thing! I was kind of sad to see all our messages disappear plus nice to have the photograph point of reference before date.

OP posts:

Whoddathoughtit · Today 00:39

AmberCatz · Yesterday 21:46

Thanks @CinnamonBuns67

yeah maybe I'll just send a quick message in the morning but not mention the Tinder thing! I was kind of sad to see all our messages disappear plus nice to have the photograph point of reference before date.

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Did you go on the date? X

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 00:45

Whoddathoughtit · Today 00:39

Did you go on the date? X

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It’s Sunday evening I think, OP only posted a few hours ago.

@AmberCatz that can happen when the other person has unmatched you or deleted their account I think.

It’s worth remembering if they unmatch you, you can’t see whether they’re online or not.

nomas · Today 02:44

AmberCatz · Yesterday 21:46

Thanks @CinnamonBuns67

yeah maybe I'll just send a quick message in the morning but not mention the Tinder thing! I was kind of sad to see all our messages disappear plus nice to have the photograph point of reference before date.

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How is he on WhatsApp? Quiet or enthusiastically messaging?

plus nice to have the photograph point of reference before date.

hope it’s not a very old picture!

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 02:51

nomas · Today 02:44

How is he on WhatsApp? Quiet or enthusiastically messaging?

plus nice to have the photograph point of reference before date.

hope it’s not a very old picture!

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One word @AmberCatz

Screenshots.

BrickMaker · Today 04:42

I'd say he has unmatched you and the date is probably off.

Chocolatefreak · Today 04:59

I’d say the date’s probably still on because you’ve made arrangements so recently, but he’s unmatched because he doesn’t want you to see he’s still online, or updated his profile photos 🤷🏼‍♀️

OrdinaryGirl · Today 05:15

in you position I would probably message saying ‘So sorry - something’s come up and I can’t make our date - apologies for the late notice but hope you have a fab weekend’ and then never message again. Gets you your time back and removes the uncertainty.

HelmholtzWatson · Today 05:51

Ignore all the terrible advice from the mind readers on here. Just go on the date. If there is no connection, then it's all a moot point anyway.

Idontjetwashthefucker · Today 06:29

OrdinaryGirl · Today 05:15

in you position I would probably message saying ‘So sorry - something’s come up and I can’t make our date - apologies for the late notice but hope you have a fab weekend’ and then never message again. Gets you your time back and removes the uncertainty.

Isn't that cutting off her nose to spite her face, the date may still be on, we have no idea why he's done what he's done

SummerAsh · Today 06:36

OrdinaryGirl · Today 05:15

in you position I would probably message saying ‘So sorry - something’s come up and I can’t make our date - apologies for the late notice but hope you have a fab weekend’ and then never message again. Gets you your time back and removes the uncertainty.

Ignore this. Some women are determined to sabotage other women’s romantic lives.

Just send him a normal message, and say you’re looking forward to seeing him. His response (or lack of) will tell you all you need to know.

Ratherhaveacupofteaandabiscuit · Today 06:53

I think this is him preparing to disappear.

JustGoogleIt15 · Today 07:07

Hes blocked you on Tinder, or unmatched you, so that you can't see that he's still active on there. The dates still on and he can contact you on WhatsApp

But no matter how the date goes, he intends to continue dating other people (nothing wrong with that imo but HE thinks you might not like that)

FieryA · Today 07:28

OrdinaryGirl · Today 05:15

in you position I would probably message saying ‘So sorry - something’s come up and I can’t make our date - apologies for the late notice but hope you have a fab weekend’ and then never message again. Gets you your time back and removes the uncertainty.

Why should she cancel the date for no reason? Isn't it easier to just ask the guy about the Tinder messages?

LadyChilli · Today 07:37

BrickMaker · Today 04:42

I'd say he has unmatched you and the date is probably off.

Yes hopefully different for OP but that would be more in line with my experience on Tinder. It seems weird to me that he would unmatch before a date if he was keen. He has not deleted his profile, you can hid your profile which stops others seeing it; nobody is deleting and creating new profiles every time they arrange a first date.

I'd message today to confirm the date is still on. People are so flaky these days I would do the same with a friend so no biggie and if he doesn't respond you have your answer.

DozyCrow · Today 07:46

So you've been chatting for 8 or 9 days on Tinder and WA. Have you not exchanged a single other photo with each other in that time? I'd message this morning to check he's still ok for the date and ask for a recent photo so you'll recognise him when you get to the venue.

Bikergran · Today 07:51

@AmberCatz for some reason, this makes me very uneasy, as in, he may turn up, but there is no "paper trail" connecting you. Maybe I watch too many crime dramas.

Personally I'd drop him a message saying as he's deleted everythjng you're assuming the date is off, and then curl up with Netflix and a takeaway.

OrdinaryGirl · Today 09:35

FieryA · Today 07:28

Why should she cancel the date for no reason? Isn't it easier to just ask the guy about the Tinder messages?

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Because, a genuine guy who still wants to see her would have dropped her a little message saying ‘You might notice I’ve deleted xyz on Tinder, but I just wanted to say I’m still really looking forward to our date’.

Asking the guy about the date is chasing behaviour and will lead to either OP anxiously waiting for a reply, or to being told the date’s off.
If she cancels on the basis of his deletion, and the guy is genuine, he’ll say, ‘Sorry to hear you can’t make it, I’d love to find a date that works if you would like that?’

FateAmenableToChange · Today 09:42

Quite possible it’s been done so you can’t see he’s still active on Tinder, also his distance to you. Doesn’t necessarily mean the date is off. I’d message and clarify some logistics detail or ask for a photo and see if replies. Decide then if you want to proceed.

FieryA · Today 10:54

OrdinaryGirl · Today 09:35

Because, a genuine guy who still wants to see her would have dropped her a little message saying ‘You might notice I’ve deleted xyz on Tinder, but I just wanted to say I’m still really looking forward to our date’.

Asking the guy about the date is chasing behaviour and will lead to either OP anxiously waiting for a reply, or to being told the date’s off.
If she cancels on the basis of his deletion, and the guy is genuine, he’ll say, ‘Sorry to hear you can’t make it, I’d love to find a date that works if you would like that?’

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Cancelling a date without any reason is stupid, without even attempting to find out why he deleted his profile. As someone else pointed out, it's quite negative and sabotaging. Asking about the date is not chasing. It's simply confirming.

Original poster

AmberCatz · Today 11:26

FieryA · Today 10:54

Cancelling a date without any reason is stupid, without even attempting to find out why he deleted his profile. As someone else pointed out, it's quite negative and sabotaging. Asking about the date is not chasing. It's simply confirming.

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I've messaged to confirm the date tonight on Whatsapp - delivered so not blocked or anything.

I find it a bit of a strange move before a date. Like he's made a decision to unmatch us - I did grab screenshots before, not sure why really!

OP posts:

Original poster

AmberCatz · Today 11:27

Bikergran · Today 07:51

@AmberCatz for some reason, this makes me very uneasy, as in, he may turn up, but there is no "paper trail" connecting you. Maybe I watch too many crime dramas.

Personally I'd drop him a message saying as he's deleted everythjng you're assuming the date is off, and then curl up with Netflix and a takeaway.

yeah and even if he's a perfectly reasonable guy, such a move is enough to set off a 'wtf' gut feeling - men have no idea what women have to deal with!

OP posts:

Idontjetwashthefucker · Today 12:57

What's his response time usually like OP?

cartagenagina · Today 13:15

If he hasn’t responded before you start getting ready for the date I would just block him and get into my pjs