Help! DH having general anaesthetic. Friend dreamt he died!

The friend is an idiot for telling his dream. Regardless of whether he knew about the op or not, who does that?!!
op dreams are not an prediction of life

So if this is a “watch and wait” scenario but he has been advised or booked surgery that means if this thing frowns or develops it will be very bad for him and a real risk to his life- as otherwise they’d not be doing an operation and spending all that NHS money right?
Currently your DH has presumably passed his pre op assessment well which means they are satisfied he is well enough to undergo a GA- which will have a highly trained and skilled anaesthetist there whose sole job is to keep your husband breathing and alive throughout the procedure. I have watched these doctors during operations where a patient has become poorly and they really are on the ball and very good at what they do. They tweak the medication to adjust the symptom the patient is having and are very alert to even the slightest change that could indicate an issue.
Okay so now think if DH delays and 3 years down the line a scan indicates that now he NEEDS this operation. Or he will be very unwell and possibly die. So there is no choice now. But since three years have passed unfortunately your husband has now developed some health issues that make him a poor candidate for surgery. He now faces a higher risk of complications but needs the surgery and you face this fear again but worse and well-founded.

Putting off the fear now could lead to a worse and more credible fear in the future. This level of fear is not normal and the person before who suggested therapy wasn’t being cruel but sensible. Yes everyone has some fear when facing surgery (though personally a GA is an amazing sleep and I love the woozy feeling after!) but this level of fear is not normal @username2345678901 .

Last year my DH had an op in Glasgow for thyroid cancer. In the run up to the op my dreams got more and more vivid that he would die culminating in the grand finale dream the night before the op where my DS and I were walking down Buchanan St and I got the call at the corner of Buchanan and St Vincent st.

The dream was so vivid and real that I refused to walk to that corner even though my DS was going shopping. I made him do a detour round the block to avoid being at that spot.

DH was fine and my dreams were just dreams no matter how real they seemed at the time.

So what is the procedure then as it’s very unusual to get unnecessary operations tbh. And a blood test won’t show anything for surgery but they will definitely check his BP on the day. Surprised no pre op assessment tbh as they’re still done in my nhs area.

If it was necessary that wouldn’t stop the fear. They will do all appropriate checks before proceeding with surgery. You need to focus on how to control your anxiety.

I dreamt last night that I was on a never ending ferris wheel that got stuck under the sea. It’s a dream not a premonition

Im assuming if a phone pre-op hes healthy. For a minor operation, in a relatively healthy patient the risks of death from a GA are pretty much non existent. Your friends dream has no bearing on the risk, it is just a dream

For something that sounds so minor the anaesthetist will not go ahead if they are concerned theres any risk of significant complications. I really wouldn't worry

They will check his blood pressure, pulse and sats shortly before the procedure starts, and also weigh him if they don't have his current weight so they know how much anaesthesia to give.

The blood pressure, pulse and sats are then monitored by the anaesthetist during the procedure using the results they have taken earlier as a baseline.

I've had several GAs and I really enjoy them, there's a lovely bit just before you lose consciousness where all the little aches, pains and discomforts you are used to living with magically disappear. Then next thing you know, you are coming round.

IMAGINE being that powerful

Because you are seriously considering whether a procedure recommended by your DH’s surgeon should go ahead based on negligible statistical risk and the dream of his idiot friend.

And your projected health anxiety is affecting your DH.

Your job is to support your DH not make the whole thing about your worries.

My Dc has had 13 GAs from babyhood to 18.

Get a grip or get help.

I get it. It's scary (scarier than if it's you to be honest) but honestly the risks are really really really small, against the benefit of getting it done. (My sil developed a tumour, was told she needed a relatively minor op . She said she was too scared to go ahead then so they said okay wait and watch, but by the time she decided she did want go ahead her underlying health had deteriorated (not as a result of the original condition) and she's now not a good candidate for a GA.

I am someone that’s had three unfortunate portentous dreams and I’d never tell someone involved.

Even though my dreams were things that went on to happen, I still don’t believe in this stuff and I’d never mention it (apart from to my husband who now thinks I’m a witch).

In someone with little in the way of Medical conditions the risks aren't very much different. Can always ask re local anaesthetic/spinal anaesthetic/regional anaesthetic as alternatives if its him that's worried rather than you. Anaesthetics are incredibly safe. I can count on one hand the deaths after 11yrs and nearly all were expected

I worked in theatres for a couple of years. It’s not like on TV. TV/movie operations are always big, dramatic, long surgeries or dire emergencies ‘They’ll die if we don’t operate but they may die on the table’ type situations.
Routine operations are low risk. Patients are monitored very carefully. I can recall 2 patients having a reaction to anaesthetic (bearing in mind we probably had 100 patents through most days and I was there 2 years) and they both had reversal drugs, were closely monitored afterwards and were fine. A minor op carries a low risk (we also did major surgery where patients went to ICU afterwards) and he should be absolutely fine. Try to keep positive but if this anxiety happens about other things too, therapy can help you stop ruminating.

her dream means he wont die op

National guidance has changed preop significantly. Fit and healthy young people don't need bloods/ecgs etc for minor ops

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng45

It's on every surgical consent form. You should have received https://rcoa.ac.uk/sites/default/files/documents/2019-09/Risk-infographics_2019web.pdf this document or a link to it in pre-op. I don't explicitly point it out unless I think there's a relatively high chance of it happening as the incidence is so rare

@username2345678901 Many years ago when my children were small I had to have a general anaesthetic and was convinced I was going to die during the procedure. Despite being married to a doctor who explained my irrational fear was based on a fear of the unknown I remained anxious. On the day of the operation the anaesthetist came to talk to me. He asked me what I was afraid of most and we talked through it very sensibly and seriously before he made me laugh by saying 'there's no way I'll let you die as the paperwork is a nightmare!' It was just what I needed at the time. So keep that in mind - it is in their best interest as well as yours to keep your husband alive. (Hope that helps a bit!)

Someone else's dreams don't make people die.
It's really irresponsible and a bit rude to say that to someone who's about to have surgery.
Do people not realize their dreams are boring as fuck and not real?! Nobody needs to know someone had a dream that something bad happened to them.

It's likely because the dreamer themselves has some unresolved anxiety issues.

He'll be fine. Make sure he doesn't catch the dreaded flu like illness that's going about. Plenty of vitamin c, healthy food. Then he'll be in the best place for recovery. If he does catch respiratory illness they may need to postpone so that's the only thing you should worry about.

It's only understandable in someone with severe anxiety. I would just laugh about it if it were me but my Father-in-Law in the same situation would be like you because he has anxiety especially around health matters.

It's normal to be a little apprehensive about someone going under anaesthetic but not to be so anxious about it like this that someone having a ridiculous dream is sending you spiralling.

There isn't a lot you can do about it right now but you can book to see your GP and ask for some medication for the future.

Right now though you need to take comfort in the fact that the dream is just a dream and the risk to your husband is extremely small.

I do know the worry because my husband has had to have an emergency operation in the past after another operation went wrong, and my son had an elective operation when he was quite small and I did cry when they put him under and I saw him lying on the bed out cold.

But the reality is that your husband is going to be fine and that your anxiety is getting the better of you.

Could you try some breathing techniques and yoga to help you calm down?