Ultimate Betrayal

Yeah, husbands dodge a bullet there.

Obviously now you know it's a reverse, you won't be changing your opinion as it's the same scenario.

Except it's a reverse, and she didn't.

It's the best mumset gender bias thread reveal I've seen for a long time on here.

It does sound like a thoughtless recurring pattern. Discuss this with your wife when you are calmer.

As for the graduation. I missed my eldest sons because we had a one year old, similar length journey and I knew it would end in tears all round so stayed at home.

You could call it mumsnet bias or you could call the reflection of the enormous disparity in equality in relationships.
This just mostly reflects which gender is almost always the victim of emotional, financial abuse, work load imbalance and domestic violence in relationships.
Hint its mostly women.
So actually what should be "intereting" to you is not this mumsnet bias aa you see it, but the mumsnet protective reflex when it comes to women being taken advantage of.

Think about that and Then maybe you can help make the world a better more equal place.

So much drama over a graduation. If you want family photos, book a photographer and go somewhere more relaxed. One that is good with children and not trying to get as many graduates photographed one after the other.

Ignoring the gender bias exposure for a moment,

only one family photo could be chosen to purchase.

No commercial photographer restricts purchases like this. Either your partner is lying or the photographer is an idiot, or perhaps there was a pre paid package with only one included in the package. If you contact them I'm sure they will sell you the others.

If this is all you have to worry about you need to get a grip. Why the whole family had to go in the first place when you couldn’t even be there for the ceremony! Also you left late. If it was so important you’d have made more effort.

@Mufasa1992 you already know you're being a petulant twat, and you have ruined what should have been a fantastic day to remember after so much hard work. Apologise profusely, try to make it up, and stop being so unpleasant about your financial outlay, love should not be transactional. Also, get the photos and have someone photoshop them together so you have a big group photo and the kids are smiling.

Ede and Ravenscroft are the gown hiring company. You can hire a gown anytime. You can hire a local photographer with a studio for a time where everyone has been fed/ napped/ got a clean top on. Have photos done if you want them. You can't chsnge what happened on the day. You can change the photo.
P.s. My father graduated in the 60s as a married, mature student with three children under 5. My mums parents looked after us and mum went into the graduation ceremony. I'm crying in all the photos because I hated it when someone pointed a camera at me and expected me to smile. I did it as a 4 year old bridesmaid too. Children pick up on stress. Perfect families only appear on Instagram. In real life they're a bit messy

Wow you begrudge her taking a family photo with her family.. on HER graduation day. As long as she took photos with you too, in which she did, I don't see a problem with it.

This thread is 🦇 💩 crazy. Now we have the Scooby Doo reveal 🙄…

OP you are coming across as a bit immature and nuts.

Only as it turns out, this petulant twat actually had one 🤣

Has it revealed a gender bias? My only response to the reveal was thinking that being so badly organised and petulant is less common in mothers of young children than in fathers whose minds are on other things such as work or study . It felt to me more like a made up story. Apologies OP if it's real.

Poor planning. That’s all.

Eh?!? Everyone has kept the same opinion - that the op is completely in the wrong - regardless of their sex.

Jeez I could not live like this. My DH got his OU degree when we had small children and it was irrelevant to them (and me really). The idea that we’d have dragged them through the nine circles of hell just to immortalise the day he got handed a certificate is laughable.

I don’t care about the gender reverse, you are both ridiculous to think that a photo of him standing with his cap and gown and four snotty crying kids was worth taking.

how did you not manage to get your kids out in time? Would your wife have managed it you were the one graduating?

You are making it all about you. It isn't about you, it is about your wife. What was she supposed to do with the photographs? sadface because you can't handle getting out of the house wtih 2 kids? Or take the best photos she can.

Why were they hungry at that time? didn't you pack snacks and activities? Do you usually leave all this to your wife?

"ultimate betrayal" is very strong language for this incident. Are you worried that you might now have to step up and do your share of family life?

my bad for replying to the OP.

have now read OPs posts. Why couldn't you get up at 5am for one thing? Tbh it is the thing that is annoying me most about this whole scenario is getting up so late and not being ready.

There are much worse ways to betray someone, OP. 🤷‍♀️

Just put it down to experience, and a bad photo day. The graduation ceremony will be forgotten about by everyone very soon. She’s got her degree, and that’s all that really matters.

Most grads just have a solo photo of themselves with the gown etc on.

You need to get over yourself.

Kindly, Get A Grip.

You don't own her choices because you paid and seriously FFS how hard isn't to get out of the house on time!? Working parents manage it 5 days a week.

Sounds like you didn't plan/pack the night before to leave enough time to get our on time and now that's somehow her fault?!

Maybe she chose the other photo she's pissed off you couldn't be on time for one day and plans on leaving you so doesn't want that crappy memory of you spoiling it.

So sorry, OP, that sounds rubbish.

I was just chatting to my husband about his PhD graduation. Our 3 kids were still young. He organised a babysitter and I went with his mum. His dad paid for the whole family celebration meal afterwards. It was a happy day and I felt part of it because although, obviously, it was his achievement, that was only possible due to our team effort in terms of juggling things while we were raising a family.

Wife needed to be there ON TIME to pick up her gown and hood, register, and get into her allocated seat in plenty of time.

The OP is clearly rubbish with time - intended to leave at 8 but didn't leave until after 9? Of course she went with her parents. The entire scenario was caused by the OP's poor planning and inefficiency. He faffed and delayed doing goodness knows what if he hadn't even managed to feed the kids, was late leaving and as a consequence couldn't find a parking space. Had his wife left with him, she would have been late too.

OP doesn't need to wang on about being betrayed and stabbed. He needs a watch and an alarm clock.

Bad form on your part you could have at least made sure you arrived on time.
And as for the kids would disrupt ceremony, bloody well make them behave themselves, any outing in public they should be taught to behave, if you don't take them they will never learn