Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

I'm in a minority but I would not force a sale, or if it has to be sold I would give your sister a larger share. She did all of the caring for you mum it sounds like, and your inheritance is her home. Unless you were at risk of serious financial ruin I would let it go. She's your sister, it's a recent loss, and her life will be totally upended. What's 'fair' isn't always what's best

You are over thinking your responsibilities as an executor, I've been one twice, and yes, you have a duty to the beneficiaries to follow the will (you can also vary that will with agreement of the beneficiaries).

But you don't have to rush things through, two months is too soon to be doing this to your DSIS, you have 2 years before the estate would need registering as a trust, so I'd be giving her 6 months before pushing ahead with anything.

You may find it easier to engage a solicitor and defer your responsibilities to them to play bad cop.

You should keep the house registered in the deceased persons name, if the will did not specify sale of the house then if you register it in you three's names you have dispersed that asset, this gives your sister more rights, not less, and would put the onus on you and your DB to pay for the process for an order for sale yourselves, rather than it coming from the estate and therefore dividing equally.

But I do thing you are rushing with this.

Of course you’re reasonable to follow your mum’s wishes. She didn’t want your sister to have the house or she’d have put that in her will. Get it sold however you can and take the equal share your mum wanted you to have.

Your sister will have benefitted from no housing costs to the tune of tens or thousands over the years, you don’t owe her anything.

Do you know how much a live in carer costs? Given that the law does not permit 24hour a day contracts, you are looking at a minimum of two carers. Do the math. It sounds like your sister has put her life on hold to.take care of your mother in her last years. That has a value which you are omitting in your calculations. She has saved you a fortune and your mother was looked after without payment.
In my personal opinión you and your sibling owe her big time for taking this pressure off you both, both financially and emotionally. The job of a carer is a tough one.

She's in her 50s and has also lost her mother and now it looks as if she is going to lose her home. You have already said that she will have difficulty to find regular work in her sector. You and your sibling are clearly in a better situation than she is. Maybe its time to look for an alternative solution. And maybe a little generosity?

Got a third of way through posts, thank you to everyone who replied.
I am a bit concerned about the legalities of being an executor as its my legal duty to disperse the the estate according to the will.
I have got probate, was going to do an assent to transfer deeds into our 3 names but solicitor I contacted about assent said if going to sell keep in deceased name and sell as an executor as easier and cheaper.
Im not heartless, I love my sister, I would never make her homeless but I do want to sell and so does Dbro, but as usual im left with all the heavy lifting.
I actually think it would be nicervl for her to buy somewhere smaller and more manageable in good condition. My parents never really maintained the house in the 50 years they lived there as no surplus money, it would be worth at 25% more if they had, it needs full renovation.
Dsis has never done any maintenance and tbh barely any cleaning either.
Im happy to give her more, ie approx 40/30/30 and more if she cant get a mortgage or needs more for 1 bed flat.
The PP who said shes failed to launch is right. She's lived with minimum costs for all her life, paid £100-200 housekeeping for 30 years then got made redundant and totally lived off mums pension, all housing,bills and food paid for. mum even paid for her car.
Before she was made redundant she did have substantial savings, theres no evidence to say shes spent any of it . She will not disclose her savings,other than to say she hasnt spent any of her redundancy money.
She was a carer for 5 ish years the last 2 years were very tough, mum should have been in a nursing home really but DSIs refused, i don't think this was entirely altruistic, when asked she did say if she wasn't living there and housing not a worry she would have preferred mum to be in a care home, so if im honest her caring for mum was as much to keep a roof over her head than for any altruistic reason and towards the end probably not in mums best interests. She didn't want to use mums money for carers. I had to arrange OH to come out and get a hoist ,special chair so mum wasn't just in bed, dsis had accepted she had to stay in bed. The hoist really needs 2 carers to move mum, sister refused and said she'd do it herself, we were both hoist trained but i live 50 miles away and work full time so obviously not there every day. DBro lives 3 miles away but not as involved as me.
Dbro does want the house to be sold, he just wants me to sort everything and have all the difficult conversations, as usual! But he is happier for Dsis to have a bigger share, as am I but I want dsis to use her savings and try and get a mortgage first.
A month or so after DM died I did say we need to decide about the house what do you think we should do and she said im going to live there.
I raised concerns about condition,running costs etc but she just brushed them off, shes blind to condition of house tbh.
Shes not really happy about sharing out mums possessions, sentimental value only but id like some of them. Shes denying all knowledge about some jewellery, family photographs etc and refused to let me have dad's wedding ring when she was estranged from him and Dbro didnt want it she still told me I couldnt have it.
I know shes grieving, we all are, I phone/ message to check in on her ,never once does she ask about me and never has. She's said some very hurtful things to me and im her punchbag.
Im going through a rocky patch with DH, so its not just pension im worried about tbh there's a lot going on. DH wants to retire soon and cant afford it, still have 3DC at home including 2 with sen so if im honest the money would really help us.
Ive always had to pay my way and also juggle caring responsibilities. Despite being in her 50s, in many ways Dsis has remained like a teenager , but the last few years have been tough on her and I do know if mum went into a care home they may have been not much left but equally dsis would have had to pay rent and bills and buy her own food etc.
Im a bit worried if we delay things she will expect to stay in the house forever . I will obviously support her through the process but it will be overwhelming for her.
Shes changed all bills into her name and I said about house insurance and she said she would do it and now has.
Mum wouldn't have wanted us to fall out or for dsis to be homeless but she did leave everything to be split equally ,although the will was old she could have changed it anytime up to 5 years ago.

And they are to rely upon that, are they?

When she has low income and is not talking to them? They remain legally obligated

The situation is that the resident sister is effectively emotionally blackmailing the other 2

No is legally bound for maintenance or bills of a property they dont live in! They will only need to chip in for the house insurance for building cover, that is all!

This must be a horrible situation for you OP. I understand she's grieving but she's in her fifties and it's time she stands on her own two feet! Of course her plan for the house was just for her to stay there, it's very naive of her to think that's how things would work. I don't think she's entitled to more than her 1/3 share - whilst circumstances made her your mother's carer (simply because she lived at home still), she had the same chances before that to live her life and get a career etc and I don't think you and your brother should substidise her in this way.

Who’s going to pay to maintain the house in OP’s situation?

If the sister had left the family home to live her own life, the mother would have eventually needed full time care, and as I and others have pointed out, had that been the case, there would be no house to sell so no thread to comment on.

No is legally bound for maintenance or bills of a property they dont live in! They will only need to chip in for the house insurance for building cover, that is all!

Is maintenance so important?! Why does it bother her so much, the person living their can spend to make it habitable for themselves and if not, it doesn't matter, just ensure there is building cover.. Nothing else to do

Do you know how much a live in carer costs? Given that the law does not permit 24hour a day contracts, you are looking at a minimum of two carers. Do the math. It sounds like your sister has put her life on hold to.take care of your mother in her last years. That has a value which you are omitting in your calculations. She has saved you a fortune and your mother was looked after without payment.
In my personal opinión you and your sibling owe her big time for taking this pressure off you both, both financially and emotionally. The job of a carer is a tough one.

She's in her 50s and has also lost her mother and now it looks as if she is going to lose her home. You have already said that she will have difficulty to find regular work in her sector. You and your sibling are clearly in a better situation than she is. Maybe its time to look for an alternative solution. And maybe a little generosity?

She has saved you a fortune and your mother was looked after without payment.

She saved herself that fortune too though, and OP has already said it was for financial not altruistic reason. She’s barely spent a penny of her own money or DM’s money on her housing and care, has redundancy savings she hasn’t touched, and now expects a bigger share of the house?!

Got a third of way through posts, thank you to everyone who replied.
I am a bit concerned about the legalities of being an executor as its my legal duty to disperse the the estate according to the will.
I have got probate, was going to do an assent to transfer deeds into our 3 names but solicitor I contacted about assent said if going to sell keep in deceased name and sell as an executor as easier and cheaper.
Im not heartless, I love my sister, I would never make her homeless but I do want to sell and so does Dbro, but as usual im left with all the heavy lifting.
I actually think it would be nicervl for her to buy somewhere smaller and more manageable in good condition. My parents never really maintained the house in the 50 years they lived there as no surplus money, it would be worth at 25% more if they had, it needs full renovation.
Dsis has never done any maintenance and tbh barely any cleaning either.
Im happy to give her more, ie approx 40/30/30 and more if she cant get a mortgage or needs more for 1 bed flat.
The PP who said shes failed to launch is right. She's lived with minimum costs for all her life, paid £100-200 housekeeping for 30 years then got made redundant and totally lived off mums pension, all housing,bills and food paid for. mum even paid for her car.
Before she was made redundant she did have substantial savings, theres no evidence to say shes spent any of it . She will not disclose her savings,other than to say she hasnt spent any of her redundancy money.
She was a carer for 5 ish years the last 2 years were very tough, mum should have been in a nursing home really but DSIs refused, i don't think this was entirely altruistic, when asked she did say if she wasn't living there and housing not a worry she would have preferred mum to be in a care home, so if im honest her caring for mum was as much to keep a roof over her head than for any altruistic reason and towards the end probably not in mums best interests. She didn't want to use mums money for carers. I had to arrange OH to come out and get a hoist ,special chair so mum wasn't just in bed, dsis had accepted she had to stay in bed. The hoist really needs 2 carers to move mum, sister refused and said she'd do it herself, we were both hoist trained but i live 50 miles away and work full time so obviously not there every day. DBro lives 3 miles away but not as involved as me.
Dbro does want the house to be sold, he just wants me to sort everything and have all the difficult conversations, as usual! But he is happier for Dsis to have a bigger share, as am I but I want dsis to use her savings and try and get a mortgage first.
A month or so after DM died I did say we need to decide about the house what do you think we should do and she said im going to live there.
I raised concerns about condition,running costs etc but she just brushed them off, shes blind to condition of house tbh.
Shes not really happy about sharing out mums possessions, sentimental value only but id like some of them. Shes denying all knowledge about some jewellery, family photographs etc and refused to let me have dad's wedding ring when she was estranged from him and Dbro didnt want it she still told me I couldnt have it.
I know shes grieving, we all are, I phone/ message to check in on her ,never once does she ask about me and never has. She's said some very hurtful things to me and im her punchbag.
Im going through a rocky patch with DH, so its not just pension im worried about tbh there's a lot going on. DH wants to retire soon and cant afford it, still have 3DC at home including 2 with sen so if im honest the money would really help us.
Ive always had to pay my way and also juggle caring responsibilities. Despite being in her 50s, in many ways Dsis has remained like a teenager , but the last few years have been tough on her and I do know if mum went into a care home they may have been not much left but equally dsis would have had to pay rent and bills and buy her own food etc.
Im a bit worried if we delay things she will expect to stay in the house forever . I will obviously support her through the process but it will be overwhelming for her.
Shes changed all bills into her name and I said about house insurance and she said she would do it and now has.
Mum wouldn't have wanted us to fall out or for dsis to be homeless but she did leave everything to be split equally ,although the will was old she could have changed it anytime up to 5 years ago.

I think you are underestimating the cost of 5 years of care. The rates for private care live in care at present is around 900 to 1300 pounds a week depending on the region. Hourly will be 20 to 25 an hour. An agency or care homes will cost more. At minimum you are looking at 52,000 a year. Multiply that by five years....

I wish people would stop talking about able-bodied women of sound mind who happen to be in their 50s as if they are children and have no agency or autonomy.