Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

It was obviously OP's mum's wish that her daughter didn't pay rent while living in the family home. However, it was also OP's mum's wish that her estate was to be divided equally between her three adult children and she made her wishes clear in her will so those wishes should also be respected.

Yes - I do; plenty of knowledge. Thanks.

It is entirely borough rules and amount dependent of course@Dutchhouse14 I wish you and all your family all the best.

I think you are going to need to be pragmatic. You have had the house valued at 280, but unless that was a low ball Red Book valuation for probate, you may only sell for 230+. Then you need to pay estate agents and legal fees etc. the difference between one third of what is left after all the bills and letting your DS having 50% will not amount to that much. You can do a deed of variation to change things.

We were paying over £30 ph for carers up until a year ago and a small room in a nursing home in the SE can be 5k pm - some are double that.

It is horrible dealing with this. I hope you sort it out without permanent damage to your relationships.

I agree that you need legal advice. One point that jumps out to me is that the house is in a bad state of repair - if your Dsis wants to remain living there, how on earth is she going to maintain it? Plus all the household bills that she presumably wasn't paying when your Mum was alive.

As she views you as the Wicked Witch, perhaps your other sibling could sit down with her and go over the financial implications of her staying the house - take a look at the council tax bills, utilities, etc. and estimate what she'd need to live there. It sounds as if she's burying her head in the sand.

It’s not like the sister isn’t getting a provision in the will. Also could she afford to run and maintain the house on her own and on her income? It’s not like she needs a family home

Their mother left a will knowing the situation of all 3 of them

If OP steps down as executor a solicitor would charge a fairly large sum to do exactly as rhe will suggests

You seem to easily ignore the avoidant, possibly entitled, behaviour by the one sister to the detriment of the other 2, especially given the poor state of repair the house is reported to be in

Not only will the other 2 have to pay for the upkeep it is likely they will also have to cover the 3rd sisters share.

The legal position OP is in is nothing like many posters here seem to imagine

Must be so hard on your sister, living and minding your mother and then left like this. Presume she must be angry with your mother for leaving this mess while grieving

If your Dsis cared for her for five years rather than your Dm go into a home, every penny of that house (£280k) would have been used on care fees, and there would be no inheritance. I can’t understand why this wasn’t a conversation at least five year’s ago between all four of you. This is where the inability to have grown up conversations gets you all.

It is not their 'own money'. It was their mother's. They have done nothing to earn it.

Also I assume you think it was OK for one sister to have been a carer for their elderly parent 24/7 while I assume the others enjoyed their lives, careers and families?

As I have already say I do hope that sister takes this to court and gets a bigger chunk of the estate due to her having been her mother carer which undoubtedly also affected her ability to work.

I think you're awful. You want to make her homeless, and for what?

They have other homes they've paid for, DD living there has been living essentially rent free.

For her share of the inheritance her mother left her.

I assume that you financially support your sister to the detriment of your own children and that is of course up to you but the OP doesn’t want to do that. Her mother didn’t leave the house to only one of her three children. Again, if you want to disinherit some of your own children then that’s your choice but the OP’s mother didn’t do that.

1. Their mum's wishes

1. So.they don't get stuck paying bills, maintenance etc

Why are so many posters so determined to overlook the realities here?

Yes, sister will have to move, her life will drastically change. Why is that something to be avoided quite literally at all cost to OP and her other sister?

And also, why will she be homeless? The OP says her sister will have enough money to buy a flat.

First of all, why would she be homeless? OP says she has some savings and income.

Secondly, the legal obligation she has as Executrix to all of the siblings means she can't just ignore the will and be nice to the detriment of herself and her other sibling.

When my FIL died my husband's brother had been his carer and FIL's wish was for him to stay in the house. My husband and I had no objections as we own our house. The house will go to our children eventually if my BIL dies. He cannit share the house with anyone though

The other siblings helped with caring and there was also a carer. And the sister didn’t move in to care for mum she had been living there rent free beforehand. Also most people who need care don’t go from needing zero help to 24/7 help. Most people don’t get to the stage of needing care home type help and if they do it isn’t usually immediate

It's their money as the will stands. Their mother left the estate to them to be divided equally. I've no idea if a court of law would overturn the will - there are lots of examples of adults going to court over their parents' wills and failing to overturn the terms, as well as vice versa. Legal action would burn through one third of £200kish very quickly. I guess if you want to spend years making solicitors rich and yourself or your siblings homeless in the process, the daughter is free to do that.

As it stands though, the estate is legally 1/3 the OPs and her siblings.

If sister doesn’t move then she is going to have to put her hands in her pockets for once to pay towards the house and maintain it. Can she afford it?

BTW The people who think 'I provided care for my parent therefore their estate is mine regardless of what's in the will' are not the good people here.

It is 'their own money' now because their mother has died and left a very clear will splitting the money/assets equally between her three adult children.

Most people have said no such thing.

Why should the one sister have the entire value!
The Mother's will should be honoured.

Outline a plan for putting the house on the market in January.

Your sister has had the opportunity to work part time and save, she needs a 1 bed flat which will
be manageable for her. You don’t want a situation where she’s living there and urgent/expensive repairs are needed.

If she struggles to find full time work, she can explore claiming Universal Credit. As a single mum with 3 kids I can’t imagine that even with two incomes you’re much more comfortably off than her, as she doesn’t have any dependants.

It's far too soon and raw to do this. It would be more compassionate to explain these are your plans but give a longer time frame.