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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect people ill with Covid stay home?

794 replies

LakelandHiker · 12/10/2026 18:09

This week, my manager and a friend who goes to my exercise class are ill with Covid. I don't know if they've tested, but they've both said they have it. However one is still coming into the office and the other still attending the exercise class. AIBU or overreacting here... but why don't they stay home until clear? Even if 'feeling 95% better' wouldn't you wait until potentially exposing others? I can't help but feel mad at them both for being so selfish. I often look after an elderly relative and can't risk passing Covid on to her as she is frail. I get life can't be on pause forever but my manager can get paid sick leave and my friend can miss a class, it isn't like there's anything at stake...

OP posts:
mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:35

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FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:36

@mumatlast14 What was your question?

mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:37

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:36

@mumatlast14 What was your question?

Go back and read everything in full.

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:41

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mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:44

This reply has been deleted

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Just read it 😃

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:46

@mumatlast14 If it's so important, just ask...

mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:50

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:46

@mumatlast14 If it's so important, just ask...

Not playing your games. I'm not doing the legwork for you. You keep misrepresenting comments and cherry picking to create arguments.

HappyLizard23 · 14/10/2026 17:51

mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:50

Not playing your games. I'm not doing the legwork for you. You keep misrepresenting comments and cherry picking to create arguments.

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It looks like your comments were deleted so you’ll need to re ask if you want an answer, just a heads up

mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:53

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HappyLizard23 · 14/10/2026 17:53

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Ah well troll hunting is banned so that’s probably why

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 17:54

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mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:54

HappyLizard23 · 14/10/2026 17:53

Ah well troll hunting is banned so that’s probably why

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Hardly troll hunting! 😅

mumatlast14 · 14/10/2026 17:55

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LuLightFest · 14/10/2026 18:51

HopeMumsnet · 14/10/2026 13:28

Hi all,
Could we politely request that those on the thread who are engaging in a public spat rather than discussing the topic at hand consider giving it a rest? It would be much appreciated by your fellow MNers, if our inbox is anything to go by.
Thanks!

@MNHQ why has my comment been deleted?

Delatron · 14/10/2026 18:56

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 15:43

@ruethewhirl Can they test for Long Covid? How would you know if you had it?

Similar to ME and Chronic fatigue it is normally a diagnosis of exclusion. So everything else is ruled out via lots of tests and then if you’ve had covid and the symptoms follow that infection - once everything else is ruled out then that is the conclusion.

HappyLizard23 · 14/10/2026 19:09

LuLightFest · 14/10/2026 18:51

@MNHQ why has my comment been deleted?

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They should have let you know in an email which guideline you’ve broken

LuLightFest · 14/10/2026 19:21

HappyLizard23 · 14/10/2026 19:09

They should have let you know in an email which guideline you’ve broken

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It’s just a generic email. I haven’t broken guidelines, but then there are lots of comments that have been deleted on this thread that haven’t been particularly worthy of deleting.

ExpectMore · 14/10/2026 20:19

LuLightFest · 14/10/2026 19:21

It’s just a generic email. I haven’t broken guidelines, but then there are lots of comments that have been deleted on this thread that haven’t been particularly worthy of deleting.

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Yes it’s pretty depressing that they can construe so many vanilla posts as breaking “guidelines”. It’s as if you dare to share an opinion that someone can find a way to disagree with be outrageously offended by and they delete them. Heaven forbid there being healthy and constructive debate on an internet forum.

Either that or you know who doesn’t like being reminded of flaws in her argument so requests them deleted

ruethewhirl · 14/10/2026 20:36

Delatron · 14/10/2026 18:56

Similar to ME and Chronic fatigue it is normally a diagnosis of exclusion. So everything else is ruled out via lots of tests and then if you’ve had covid and the symptoms follow that infection - once everything else is ruled out then that is the conclusion.

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Yes, thought it might be the same, wasn't sure though.

LuLightFest · 14/10/2026 22:28

ExpectMore · 14/10/2026 20:19

Yes it’s pretty depressing that they can construe so many vanilla posts as breaking “guidelines”. It’s as if you dare to share an opinion that someone can find a way to disagree with be outrageously offended by and they delete them. Heaven forbid there being healthy and constructive debate on an internet forum.

Either that or you know who doesn’t like being reminded of flaws in her argument so requests them deleted

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Without a doubt there are certain posters who report anyone who disagrees with them. I just don’t know why MN moderators entertain this if guidelines haven’t been broken. It’s a tactic I’m seeing more and more of in people who can’t win an argument and it ruins the whole point of open dialogue on forums such as these.

Ponderingwindow · 14/10/2026 22:33

A couple of months after I had Covid my doctor said I might be on the path to a long COVID diagnosis, but they wouldn’t refer me for four more months. In the interim we figured out that Covid damaged my lungs enough to tip my proto-asthma into a really severe case of asthma and that is why I was struggling so much. Once that was treated things improved.

Hence no long covid diagnosis. Just permanent lung damage and every virus having me watching my o2 levels to see if they have gotten bad enough that I have to be admitted.

Delatron · 15/10/2026 09:26

Ponderingwindow · 14/10/2026 22:33

A couple of months after I had Covid my doctor said I might be on the path to a long COVID diagnosis, but they wouldn’t refer me for four more months. In the interim we figured out that Covid damaged my lungs enough to tip my proto-asthma into a really severe case of asthma and that is why I was struggling so much. Once that was treated things improved.

Hence no long covid diagnosis. Just permanent lung damage and every virus having me watching my o2 levels to see if they have gotten bad enough that I have to be admitted.

Sorry to hear this.

I do hope that people reading all these comments about how Covid has affected so many of us that they do realise it really isn’t just a cold and can do some serious damage to healthy people of all ages.

LathkillDale · 15/10/2026 19:32

Delatron · 15/10/2026 09:26

Sorry to hear this.

I do hope that people reading all these comments about how Covid has affected so many of us that they do realise it really isn’t just a cold and can do some serious damage to healthy people of all ages.

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That explains something. I have to have regular kidney MRIs, when I have to hold my breath. I had one yesterday and struggled with holding my breath. The difference between this time and last time was I had Covid in May for the first time!

KindCroc · 16/10/2026 09:07

FunPartyIdeas · 14/10/2026 09:24

@LuLightFest
Nope - still going to work if I have a cold! And also setting a good example to the young people I tutor that work goes on if you are a little bit under the weather. A good work ethic is so important.
What do you do for a living? Is your time off paid?

If people stayed home (where possible) when they have Covid - or any other infectious illness - then there would be less of it around, and less need to stay home …. Because you’re ill less often!!

Covid is very different to cold and flu sadly. Not just long Covid - which can be utterly debilitating and last for years - but it can also cause organ damage. Plus it’s recently been proven to cause long-term damage to people’s immune systems, so it’s likely that repeat infections are playing into the rise in lots of other illnesses.

It’s a no brainer. If you can stay home, then you should. Why risk ruining someone’s life if you can avoid it? 🤯

Delatron · 16/10/2026 09:14

LathkillDale · 15/10/2026 19:32

That explains something. I have to have regular kidney MRIs, when I have to hold my breath. I had one yesterday and struggled with holding my breath. The difference between this time and last time was I had Covid in May for the first time!

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I think quite often people don’t realise the damage it has done under the surface.

One leading doctor I spoke to said there are lots of people walking around with Long Covid but it’s mild so they don’t realise - but they will feel more tired than usual, they can’t exercise as much, they may have gut issues and brain fog.. but obviously those symptoms overlap with other conditions.

It seems prevalent in athletes as they clock quite quickly they can’t perform to the high level they used to (or at
all). And they keep pushing it and do some serious damage. Whereas the general population aren’t trying to do
so much intense exercise.

There is a scale from can’t get out of bed to can’t exercise like before but generally ok if you don’t overdo it - so say 80% of previous self.