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Kids having to rank their LEAST favourite classmates?

106 replies

SwizzlesTwizzles · 25/09/2026 12:46

My DD is in year 3 and this morning she told me that yesterday everyone in the class was asked to write down the three children they most like to play with, and the three children they least like to play with. They were given a list of each child's peg number and they were told to write down the number rather than the name. I don't know the purpose of this but last time they had to say their top 3 friends it was because they were mixing the classes up. I can see a purpose for having to write down your best friends, maybe it's for mixing up the seating arrangements or something. But I can't see what a good reason might be to make them all list their least favourite kids! Yes they didn't write names but every kid knows their own number, it wouldn't ensure confidentiality. I can also imagine the potential for whispering, asking their friends who they put down, and it seems counterproductive to good class relations to ask kids to think about and cement in their heads which kids they like least. DD told me which kids she put down, and it's the 3 who have SEN. I wonder if they appear on a lot of the lists and it makes me very sad to think about. I certainly don't like the idea that there might have been kids yesterday who wrote down my DD as one of their least favourite classmates and gave that to the teacher! Should I email the school about this?

OP posts:
TwinklySquid · Yesterday 20:47

Pipthesqueak · 25/09/2026 13:13

I've just told you why it was done. Those are exact questions from Dreikurs classroom sociogram. When I was a teacher I always had one of the most harmonious classrooms in my school and I'm certain knowledge I gained from the classroom sociogram helped that. It'd be a shame for you to complain about a decades old well researched and designed assessment and for your complaint to ultimately make the classroom environment less harmonious.

I used to teach and I’ve never heard of this method. Is it an older method? After a few weeks I think most teachers would sort of know their classroom set up and who likes who.
As a parent, I feel I know who likes who and who hates who from my daughter 😂.

Lollipop81 · Yesterday 21:03

My son is autistic. He is the loveliest, kindest child you could ever meet. But when he isn’t around me he totally lacks the confidence to speak. Meaning he has no friends despite really wanting one. If this exercise was carried out in his class it would be so upsetting for him and me. Not appropriate at all.

Wildefish · Yesterday 23:16

Timeforachange26 · Yesterday 18:32

It's simply true.

If one child is disliked by ALL or the majority of others there will be a reason why. And the ADHD is every other kid now so won't be a thing

Just wow!!!

eastegg · Today 00:02

Pipthesqueak · 25/09/2026 13:13

I've just told you why it was done. Those are exact questions from Dreikurs classroom sociogram. When I was a teacher I always had one of the most harmonious classrooms in my school and I'm certain knowledge I gained from the classroom sociogram helped that. It'd be a shame for you to complain about a decades old well researched and designed assessment and for your complaint to ultimately make the classroom environment less harmonious.

Look at the post you’ve quoted. She’s not going to complain, she’s going to ask. You’ve extrapolated that it’s this Dreikurs stuff, but what you’ve described sounds like a whole series of well thought out questions, and OP, and you, don’t know whether that’s what’s been done. So steady on with the ‘I’ve just told you’ and pretty much ordering OP not to complain when she’s not suggested complaining.

BibbityBoppityTwo · Today 00:08

Pipthesqueak · 25/09/2026 13:00

This is a specific exercise by Rudolf Dreikurs. There are more questions to it than just those. It helps teachers get a sense of the social web of the classroom and can be extremely helpful for a teacher. It's called a classroom sociogram if you want more information about what a teacher may use this information for. It's really primarily about identifying children who lack a sense of social and/or academic belonging.

Edited

Thank you for this! A teacher did this with my class when I was in grade five (a loooooong time ago) and I always wondered what it was about. I admit at the time I didn’t like the idea of it and didn’t understand why we were doing it. That said, the teacher who did it was the best primary school teacher I ever had and I did better in her class than any other.

Copperoliverbear · Today 07:16

What an awful thing to make them do.

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