Kids having to rank their LEAST favourite classmates?

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In about year 9, my English class had to vote for the most introverted or extrovert classmate. I was voted the most introverted.

That was embarrassing enough, but this lead to a class discussion about how being introverted was weird and wrong.

Fun times.

I suspect its had a boost due to marketing of online tools to make the fancy pictures with big promises of how their use can improve classroom behaviour.

I think your concerns are spot on.

It all sounds so mid twentieth century social psychology project like to me. Especially the language. "Stars" and "Isolates."

That is pretty much what it was. Dreikurs died more than 50 years ago. That doesn't make his views irrelevant but he was speaking in an area which has changed dramatically in that time. I'd like to see the research data that supports these tests being done in classrooms by teachers (who are not psychologists) on modern cohorts. Data that proves they are not harmful would be a start, I'd want data proving specific benefits to spend time and school budget on them.

I read your reply before you deleted it (my kids interrupted because they wanted me to read to them).

I really appreciate you explaining because I can see how the way you described could work with some classes, especially the way the questions were worded.

The way it was phrased in the OP sounded awful, and I suspect the reason it’s no longer done is because if it’s not done very carefully it can be interpreted by some of the children as a popularity contest (which is clearly what has happened here, even if the teacher didn’t intend it to)

Same thing at this age, surely?

Writing down the name/number of any child like that, either "most like to play with" or "least like to play with" is barbaric.

While I instinctively don't like the idea, in reality, I don't think this is entirely the worst idea - although it does need to be managed properly. And whether or not this is done by the teachers, trust me, the children are routinely announcing to anyone who will listen that they don' tlike person x or they won't be friends with them.

But as has been said here, I can see how it allows children who don't always feel they have a voice, to speak up. And in the irritating "be kind" mindset, perhaps it makes teachers think about why they're encouraging Child A to hang out with Child B when Child A doesn't want to. There was a boy in DD's class at primary who was very difficult. his mother thinks that DD is "toxic" because she refuses to play with him and she refuses to engage with him when they play online games together. The reality is that this child has hounded her, practically stalked her, has been in her space endlessly and the school refuses to see it as anything except him trying to be friends. So yes, if she was asked who she would want to NOT be next to, she'd put his name down and I'd support that and if the school or the parents have an issue with that, I'll happily show them the endless spam message (and yes, I've talked to the teacher and yes, I've attempted to manage it but it kept getting dismissed).

One of our local high schools does this for incoming year 7s. And I heard via the grapevine that many of the children had put this boy's name down as a child they did not want to be in class with. I feel bad for him but I really hope that the high school will see this and identify that thisis a child who struggles with friendships and perhaps try to help him.

Sorry to make this about me BUT (!), when I was in year 7 our form tutor had us all write confidential positive and negative feedback for all our classmates.

24 years later and I still have a piece of paper somewhere with the 25 negative things about me my classmates had written. Batshit!

NRTFT but in early September 2020 when schools were reopening, in my secondary school students had to have set places to sit in the tutor room. All years were in bubbles, so they were confined to one section of the school site and teachers moved round the rooms, rather than the usual students going to specialist classrooms.

I put a message on our tutor group's Team asking them to message me with the names of 2 or 3 students they would be happy to be paired with, and the names of anyone they would find difficult to be with. I didn't necessarily want reasons but there were a couple of tricky characters in there. Given that they would be spending 4 - 5 hours per day sitting next to the same person, it made sense. The messages were entirely private and I promised that I would not share what anyone wrote and would do my best to accommodate all the requests received by the deadline. The results were interesting and fairly predictable in terms of who people thought were easy-going or kind.

Those students left school in July 2026 and pleasingly, a lot of the friendships endured. I did say to them that one day we'd all look back on 2020 and 2021 and reminisce about how strange it was, and at the Leavers' Party, we certainly did.

I can see why this information would be useful to a teacher, but you’d have hoped there would be a way to find out more discreetly and in a way less likely to prompt playground chatter.

Wow some teachers really are child hating bastards

I don’t think it is very nice

I've used sociograms (or similar) but only with the positive question (which kids do you like) not with a negative question (which do you dislike).

it is certainly useful as a tool for teachers / researchers to get an idea of the dynamics of a classroom, but there are definitely risks too.

I have used this when classes are to be mixed up - but DCs only have to give 3 names they would like to be in the same class with.

Way back in the 60s at a girls' grammar we had to opt who to be with in VIth form.

Poor practice from the teacher.

Plenty of children will fall in the middle ground here and not get a mention at all because they are just not noticed by their peers, especially if the class numbers are weighted towards one sex. A good teacher should be able to spot the class dynamics without asking children to do this task and a lot of the children will bring their reputation with them anyway through staff room talk. It may have justifications just before they go to secondary school if the majority are moving en masse to the same school.

Awful! I’d certainly be having Words with the teacher!

It's an absolutely terrible idea for the many reasons stated above.

I remember vividly a similar incident in my own school days. Whatever the teacher's motivation may have been (and knowing the teacher, I have to assume her intentions were not positive), it was a disaster. All the children discussed their rankings, and they became yet another way to bully and exclude certain classmates. That year remains etched in my brain as horrendous from beginning to end. I wasn't even the target of bullying, but it was awful to witness and I felt powerless to stand up for others (and felt like a coward because I didn't speak up).

Anyway, those are the sort of consequences that can result from such an exercise with children in primary school.

@MagicUser1

And I heard via the grapevine that many of the children had put this boy's name down as a child they did not want to be in class with

I would say that the grapevine spreading the results of a named child is an excellent example of why formalising and documenting this pseudoscience activity is a bad idea.

Lots of high schools will ask children who their friends are when starting and aim to ensure at least one friendly face in their class at high school. Many will also discreetly check for difficult relationships via their connection with the primary school. That is enough.

If its going to be turned into anything claiming scientific backing then the evidence needs to be presented.

what an awful thing to say. They may just be a little different. I was not popular in primary school because I had adhd. Was a perfectly kind child.

It's simply true.

If one child is disliked by ALL or the majority of others there will be a reason why. And the ADHD is every other kid now so won't be a thing

I can tell you this by looking at the class and teaching them for a week, using my eyes and seeing hoiw they interact, without having kids write anything.

Are you sure "play with least" hasn't morphed in to "least like to play with"

This feels like a really bad idea from the school. I don't even really like the idea of children 'ranking' their favourite classmates, let alone their least favourite. I would have thought most Primary class teachers (although admittedly maybe less so at this point in the year) would have a good idea of who gets along, and who does not.

I would contact the school and ask about this activity, explain what your daughter has said and ask if she had misunderstood what was expected. If they confirm it happened as your daughter reported, I would ask why she was asked to do it, why it was felt appropriate.