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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

278 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:04

Is it possible that your team have complained that you were trying to fill up their days with meetings?what you describe does seem
somewhat meeting heavy

of course you will say absolutely
not to this

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:05

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:01

So they had already suggested this idea
and the big boss had already declined
and you thought that whilst on probation it would be sensible to once again suggest it to him?

I didn't know they had suggested it - only found that out today. Neither my manager or the other PMs told me. If I knew in week 2, what I found out today, I wouldn't still be here, I'd just have walked out.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:07

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:04

Is it possible that your team have complained that you were trying to fill up their days with meetings?what you describe does seem
somewhat meeting heavy

of course you will say absolutely
not to this

Edited

The meeting schedule was preset, not something I instigated. They are normal meetings in a tech team. Not all meetings are whole team. I'm the only person who is in every single one of them.

OP posts:
Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:08

This is embarrassing

Good luck Op.

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:09

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:05

I didn't know they had suggested it - only found that out today. Neither my manager or the other PMs told me. If I knew in week 2, what I found out today, I wouldn't still be here, I'd just have walked out.

So when they said it was a good idea they all failed to tell you that they had actually already all asked before? 😆

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:11

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:08

This is embarrassing

Good luck Op.

What's embarrassing? This company? Yeah it is.

I'm doing nothing wrong. My colleagues have told me, my manager has told me. It's becoming abundantly clear that the COO is an arsehole.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:11

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:09

So when they said it was a good idea they all failed to tell you that they had actually already all asked before? 😆

Have you read my updates before you joined the thread? Because all this has been covered.

OP posts:
Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:12

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:11

What's embarrassing? This company? Yeah it is.

I'm doing nothing wrong. My colleagues have told me, my manager has told me. It's becoming abundantly clear that the COO is an arsehole.

The multi million pound business that is almost a house hold name? No Op, not the business

JoanOgden · 25/09/2026 21:14

OP, you really don't need to respond to posters who haven't read or understood your posts and just enjoy sneering at you for their own pleasure.

If/when you find another job, you might consider writing to the CEO to outline the fall in revenue resulting from this insane way of working, as summarised in one of your earlier posts.

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:14

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:11

Have you read my updates before you joined the thread? Because all this has been covered.

I have

and you said they thought you were mates with the coo

but you’re saying that all 5 plus your manager said “yeah go for it, good idea!” And not one thought to mention they’d run it by him before? Because they all thought you were mates with the coo?

over the out. This has all got a little silly!

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:15

JoanOgden · 25/09/2026 21:14

OP, you really don't need to respond to posters who haven't read or understood your posts and just enjoy sneering at you for their own pleasure.

If/when you find another job, you might consider writing to the CEO to outline the fall in revenue resulting from this insane way of working, as summarised in one of your earlier posts.

Oh dear, really?

He will laugh and frame it

Summer26woohoo · 25/09/2026 21:26

I would:

  • Politely but firmly put my foot down about the WFH days. Every time.
I'm sorry Derek, I can't attend the office on any Mondays, this is my agreed WFH day as per my contract. Happy to dial into the meeting on Zoom?
  • Set myself up to claim constructive dismissal. You need to make them clearly aware in writing of the impact this is having on you...essential if you've not been there long to be able to go this route.
"The current conflicting instructions—requiring full-time office attendance while prohibiting the Zoom calls necessary to meet my objectives—have made it impossible to perform my role. This situation is causing me severe stress and anxiety regarding my probation status. Please clarify how I am expected to complete these essential calls while in the office."
Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 21:26

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 20:19

Except a) I'm not client facing and b) I can't interact with my colleagues except via email. c) there's no shadowing/ mentoring/ guidance or observation.

I've been left to my own devices since week 2. Which is completely fine, I'm perfectly capable of doing the job and asking for guidance when I don't know (via email).

Finally, I don't care if I'm full time in the office I do care that I can't take any calls.

Ok sorry, I now understand the frustration at not being able to your job without the means of enabling it. Please forgive my other responses to comments that it did sound like 'I'm too good for this role'. I'm just not used to 'not interacting'.

You should have a mentor/guidance and not be left to your own devices because workplaces have different systems, policies, protocols etc.

You may not be client facing but I think if you're a potential candidate they want to see how you would act face to face to then be entrusted with being able to communicate.

My advice would be to stick it out, ruffling feathers for a short probation time won't help, rather label you an issue and this can easily pass on in references and management from other places who know each other. This is sad but true, I've witnessed it.

Once you've passed you can move elsewhere and then give your review.

I would like to give my own experiences if it's any help?

Teacher training, I saw so much unfairness from the regime to students and staff alike. This was back in the 1990s yet unfortunately prevails, probably even more so with academies.

Disruptive students were sent out to another room, which also had the same behaviour, so sent to another room and at the time senior management was a head and a deputy and you didn't dare call on them because the outcome was how didn't you manage this youself if a good teacher, so heads of year but they were busy teaching their own clases or in their offices so the block was locked. Hence all sent out formed a group and went rampaging because they all to be put outside (time out passes)

Meanwhile we learning and real teachers had to give detentions at break, lunch, after school as an immediate sanction. The paperwork involved (before online and all done by ourseves handwritten) to allow detentionees in to first dinners, letters to send to parents knowing they wouldn't receive until at least a day later, so having to arrange a row of them, then of course the phone calls to the office to say Jake can't come then, we need to do a different one. This was a time in my training when it was all down to the teacher so many weeks every break, lunch and after school were filled up with time spent with students to talk about behaviour.

Also in my observations at that time, which prevail to now, is barely no time to to go to the loo, have a snack at break and eating at lunchtime. Break; bell goes, you have to dismiss class to leave in a calm manner, retain the ones who don't do it, have a word, so 5 mins later leaves you 10 mins. Go the staff toilet, down 2 flights of stairs and have to wait in a queue, but lucky if you have one on your floor, when one key has been prescribed and hanging up and it's gone. Leaves you 5 minutes now to have a few gulps of coffee and hoping the one responsible for milk that day has brought it. Take your covered up cup to classroom to stand outside the door ready to greet and hand bell tasks out then realise you haven't picked up the huge A167 register.

Apart from that, learning how to teach groups of teenagers manage general behaviour, them knowing you're training and pushing buttons, it was tough! Being keen and actually, for me, genuinely loving lots of those darn kids and making a difference with after school clubs and weekend activities, I worked a lot of extra hours but didn't think I wasn't paid, I just wanted do. I guess having it recognised was a bonus but not why I wrnt the extra mile.

I'm not particularly tough but was brought up to be resilient, work hard, this was the profession I chose so just ride the lows.

Excuse me please, know I'm rambling! My point being that after TT, I have been known to call out against establishment but was warned by older and wiser colleagues not to put my head above the wire.

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:38

You may not be client facing but I think if you're a potential candidate they want to see how you would act face to face to then be entrusted with being able to communicate.

I could understand this, but I'm not being asked to copy anyone in to my communications with my team and I'm not meeting with anyone face to face because no one is in the office that I need to communicate with. So I don't under how they are assessing me.

OP posts:
Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 21:49

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 20:38

Sorry what qualifications and training am I supposedly getting from this job? And what experience am I gaining beyond knowing what a toxic work environment is like?

Well I assumed, being on probation, it means training, mentoring and observations/feedback on performance?

I have replied to another comment in further detail that I do understand your circumstances and have given my own experience.

This being new, it's far too easy to say 'toxic' and this is where I question the understanding of my advice because you do need to need to listen to others more experienced and not just throw out the latest catch word. I've spent this time to help and I'm done. Please digest meaningful help comments and not the throw in your future from the others suggesting go to start a battle who won't win but can take it up later in a more adult way.

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:51

Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 21:49

Well I assumed, being on probation, it means training, mentoring and observations/feedback on performance?

I have replied to another comment in further detail that I do understand your circumstances and have given my own experience.

This being new, it's far too easy to say 'toxic' and this is where I question the understanding of my advice because you do need to need to listen to others more experienced and not just throw out the latest catch word. I've spent this time to help and I'm done. Please digest meaningful help comments and not the throw in your future from the others suggesting go to start a battle who won't win but can take it up later in a more adult way.

You seem to think I'm very junior or inexperienced? I've got 20 years experience in the field, this work place is the most unpleasant and weirdest place I've worked.

OP posts:
Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:59

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 21:51

You seem to think I'm very junior or inexperienced? I've got 20 years experience in the field, this work place is the most unpleasant and weirdest place I've worked.

And you’re low paid you say?

Appears it's built on the work of low paid workers treated like shit.

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 22:06

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 21:59

And you’re low paid you say?

Appears it's built on the work of low paid workers treated like shit.

Edited

No, I'm not. The tech team is well paid.

Customer service, the warehouse staff and the "sales" team are all on minimum wage or just above (they currently have several vacancies advertised).

OP posts:
Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 22:10

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 20:38

Sorry what qualifications and training am I supposedly getting from this job? And what experience am I gaining beyond knowing what a toxic work environment is like?

Well I assumed, being on probation, it means training, mentoring and observations/feedback on performance?

I have replied to another comment in further detail that I do understand your circumstances and have given my own experience.

This being new, it's far too easy to say 'toxic' and this is where I question the understanding of my advice because you do need to need to listen to others more experienced and not just throw out the latest catch word. I've spent this time to help and I'm done. Please digest meaningful help comments and not the throw in your future from the others suggesting go to start a battle who won't win but can take it up later in a more adult way.

Youneedas · 25/09/2026 22:10

Please come back and update at the end of your probation to let us know the outcome?!

JackGrealishsCalves · 25/09/2026 22:11

Lol at your bosses.
Anyone who's ever worked in tech knows you can't work via emails constantly, that's how misinterpretation happens. As for daily stand ups, you can't do these if you're not all in a room or on calls.
Bonkers!

alcovecupboards · 25/09/2026 22:12

I have a sneaking suspicion I know what company this is just from your posts. Three letters? COO's name begin with J? My advice - run, don't walk.

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 22:13

JackGrealishsCalves · 25/09/2026 22:11

Lol at your bosses.
Anyone who's ever worked in tech knows you can't work via emails constantly, that's how misinterpretation happens. As for daily stand ups, you can't do these if you're not all in a room or on calls.
Bonkers!

I know! It's no wonder velocity has slowed right down and tech debt/ bugs and rework has accumulated.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 22:14

alcovecupboards · 25/09/2026 22:12

I have a sneaking suspicion I know what company this is just from your posts. Three letters? COO's name begin with J? My advice - run, don't walk.

Not the same one - sad to know there's another like it!

OP posts:
Realworld10 · 25/09/2026 22:21

CombatBarbie · 25/09/2026 21:01

Have you read all of OPs posts. She cannot do her job, she is looking for other work, the Tyrant in the office needs talking too.

Yes I've put time into reading them and have given advice. This being, to show competence being able to do it at a basic scale, the old fashioned way; the core of being able to communicate without the need for automatic corrections and grammar instantaneously.

Many companies so this I believe, to decide who to employ for the most basic skills of communication, grammar and a feel for understanding and responding in the real world of probation before entrusting to do it wfh.