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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel set up to fail in a hybrid role?

278 replies

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 15:39

Firstly, I am already looking for a new job because this place is going to hell in a handbasket.

I recently started a new job – I am experienced in my role and have done it for several years. I was hired on a hybrid basis, 4 days in the office and one at home. All fine, except in the 2 months I have been there I have worked one day at home as the Ops Manager (not my direct manager but a company director so big cheese) keeps finding excuses for why he needs me in the office on my wfh day. In reality he barely speaks to me, doesn’t need me in the office and just doesn’t agree with wfh. He’s like this with everyone who tries to wfh, not just me.

I can live with being in the office. What I can’t live with with is not being able to do my job because I am not allowed on teams meetings because it is “too disruptive”. I manage a tech team of multiple disciplines. I am the only person of my job role in my team, but there are 5 across the organisation, one in each team and we are all experiencing this issue. Only my job role from the tech department are office based, the others are remote workers, therefore my entire team is working remotely and I have no other way to get in touch other than teams and email. The office is large open plan with 3 meeting rooms and no ‘cubbys’ for taking calls. There are a number of different departments in the office – customer care, sales, marketing, operations etc. Their whole teams are office based.

Understandably I cannot take up a meeting room for the entire time I am on calls – I have been told this is not a solution. I am having to do everything via email which is time consuming and quite frankly ridiculous – we do loads of demos and live drawings and discussions, I should literally be spending my day in calls with various different people and I just cant. As a result I am not being effective, my team are complaining they can’t get info and decisions off me and I am just completely out the loop – as a result the team is making mistakes, work is delayed etc. It’s a shit show.

I have spoken with my manager (home based) and he has spoken to his manager (hybrid) my manager is understanding but powerless to change the situation – he is also the other of my roles managers and confirmed they all have the same problem. His manager has said “everyone else is coping, we just need to get on with it” basically inferring we are just trying to wfh so we can slack off. I’ve suggested the 5 of my job role take up one of the meeting rooms all together, like a mini- office for us, and that is not acceptable, I’ve suggested they put us all in a far corner, away from others – also not acceptable. I’ve asked for solutions from them and been told “email” or get people in the office. I am not able to get them in the office, they have wfh, remote contracts and are based country wide (and in other countries).

I just don’t know what to do!

WIBU to just stop doing my job and wait to be fired? They don’t seem to care.

OP posts:
UnintentionalArcher · 25/09/2026 14:11

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 20:11

What do you mean?

If you have to leave your role because working practices make it impossible for you to do you job and you fear failing probation, you may have a case for constructive dismissal. That means where you feel you have no choice but to leave your role because of employer’s actions - so they have in essence dismissed you without actually dismissing you. In order to prove constructive dismissal at a tribunal, you must have raised the issues in writing and have evidence your concerns have been dismissed/you have been blocked. Are you in a union? If you can, please join one. Call ACAS. They can advise you on your current position, plus a union should tell you step by step what to do.

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:13

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:08

Op I know that. You said in the update they they evasive following your chat with jack this morning explaining they thought you were mates with the Op

but initially you said they had been incredibly open to you about job hunting and pissed off. So I find it strange they were so candid with you despite supposedly thinking you were mates with the coo

That's what I mean, they were evasive about how they're managing day to day work. Only Jack told me he was looking for work and the others were as well, I know now that's because he already had a job offer so could afford to risk it a bit more, though unfair of him to mention the others. The other just said "it is what it is, you just have to get on with it". Not exactly a go-getting attitude but also not a sackable comment.

OP posts:
MyOwnSummer · 25/09/2026 14:20

This is completely insane. All of it. I do a similar job to you and cannot imagine trying to be effective in the role without being able to take calls!

Good luck in your job hunt. I'm sure you will get something soon!

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:23

They told you to get your team to come in to the office and yet some of them live in another country?! Insane

and if they had all come in - what then? You aren’t allowed any meeting room!

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:26

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:23

They told you to get your team to come in to the office and yet some of them live in another country?! Insane

and if they had all come in - what then? You aren’t allowed any meeting room!

Or to talk in a group in the office.

The whole thing is absolutely nuts.

I picture the COO as the slave driver whipping the slaves to row faster - I think he'd have really enjoyed that sort of work.

OP posts:
Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:27

MyOwnSummer · 25/09/2026 14:20

This is completely insane. All of it. I do a similar job to you and cannot imagine trying to be effective in the role without being able to take calls!

Good luck in your job hunt. I'm sure you will get something soon!

Yeah I've never known anything like it!

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:29

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:26

Or to talk in a group in the office.

The whole thing is absolutely nuts.

I picture the COO as the slave driver whipping the slaves to row faster - I think he'd have really enjoyed that sort of work.

How long has the COO been at the company?

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:34

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:29

How long has the COO been at the company?

Since it was set up. He co-owns or co-owned it.

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:36

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:34

Since it was set up. He co-owns or co-owned it.

And this is a multi million very successful almost household name business?

FinalNameChange · 25/09/2026 14:45

Just to agree that the COO is batshit and clueless.

I'm very familiar with the sort of work you describe, and my OH is a remote worker in a team like this - he's on video calls on and off all day!

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:48

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:36

And this is a multi million very successful almost household name business?

Yes. Appears it's built on the work of low paid workers treated like shit.

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:49

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:48

Yes. Appears it's built on the work of low paid workers treated like shit.

Or paid to do nothing aside from twiddle their thumbs!

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:54

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 14:49

Or paid to do nothing aside from twiddle their thumbs!

The "sales" (clearly not sales) team, customer care, HR aren't twiddling their thumbs. It's literally just the PMs in this situation from what I can tell.

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 15:09

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 14:54

The "sales" (clearly not sales) team, customer care, HR aren't twiddling their thumbs. It's literally just the PMs in this situation from what I can tell.

Sounds like the projects represent a tiny part of the business and therefore profit line. He’s the business owner, set it up, to some extent I’d trust that he knows what he’s doing.

It hasn’t worked out. Good luck

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 15:11

How long has it been established btw? Employee number roughly?

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 15:15

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 15:09

Sounds like the projects represent a tiny part of the business and therefore profit line. He’s the business owner, set it up, to some extent I’d trust that he knows what he’s doing.

It hasn’t worked out. Good luck

The tech team, which is where the PMs sit, is the biggest department in the company. We have 90ish people, the rest have less than 20 each, except warehouse I guess.

I don't know if they're aiming to get rid of the tech department or send it back to India or what.

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 15:17

I wouldn’t worry about this. I suspect the owner knows what he’s doing and the business will continue to thrive. You just focus on this spare time to job hunt and Mumsnet!

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 15:26

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 15:17

I wouldn’t worry about this. I suspect the owner knows what he’s doing and the business will continue to thrive. You just focus on this spare time to job hunt and Mumsnet!

I actually wish others in the company would grow a pair and stand up to him. He's awful, the culture is awful and I don't understand how people keep working for them.

I'll never buy anything from them again that's for sure!

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 25/09/2026 15:28

Getofftheshitter · 24/09/2026 17:01

Several times a day;

I'm a Project Manager.

We have stand up every morning (which I'm supposed to run). Each week I do 4-5 meetings called "3 amigos" where we discuss the specifics of the work each person is going to be doing, they ask questions about it etc. I do 3 fortnightly meetings with the whole team. I do demo meetings a few times a week, 1:1s monthly with each member of my team and "leads catch up" once a week with all the leads of all disciplines and a once weekly planning meeting with my team. A weekly design meeting.

My current strategy is to get all these recorded and listen back to them, then email for follow up/ questions I have. The ones I run, I email questions before hand and then listen to the recordings and email any follow up. But it's slow and difficult and frustrating.

Listening back to recordings of meetings (that you could have joined live) and emailing questions rather than actually being able to participate is the most bonkers thing I have ever heard.
Swiftly followed by not even being able to jpin meetings live and stay muted. I was thinking about potential hacks for staying muted but asking live questions via chat function (or instructing an avatar to voice your questions that you've instructed via chat). Can you lie and say you are watching a recording but really you are watching the live call and using chat?
Doing what you can while looking for something new seems like the best option.
What a bonkers place.

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 17:10

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 15:26

I actually wish others in the company would grow a pair and stand up to him. He's awful, the culture is awful and I don't understand how people keep working for them.

I'll never buy anything from them again that's for sure!

How long have you worked there?

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 18:02

Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 17:10

How long have you worked there?

2 months as said in the OP.

OP posts:
Plsfindattached · 25/09/2026 18:02

Getofftheshitter · 25/09/2026 18:02

2 months as said in the OP.

How long has the business been running?

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 25/09/2026 18:48

Rumbleafteryog · 24/09/2026 15:43

Confused!

Why? It’s perfectly clear.

BuildbyNumbere · 25/09/2026 18:53

Just say no. If it’s in your contract that you are to work from home one day then tell your manager you can’t come in as that’s your wfh day.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 25/09/2026 18:55

I simply would say every time, no, I’m WFH as agreed. If I don’t I can’t so my job effectively as I am not permitted to have team meetings in the office and there’s no where to hold them. They’re being completely unreasonable. Contact HR. Raise a complaint about that manager?