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AIBU?

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AIBU for saying my DH needs to man tf up

369 replies

ambitiousqueen · 23/09/2026 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

OP posts:
FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 11:54

RumPidgeon · 23/09/2026 10:03

Is this your first attempt at writing a cheap telenovela??

I bet if a man wrote it it would be being hailed as a great success!

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 11:57

They'd probably even teach it in schools

Magicpaintbrush · 23/09/2026 11:59

I think this is a troll or Margot Leadbetter.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/09/2026 12:00

Magicpaintbrush · 23/09/2026 11:59

I think this is a troll or Margot Leadbetter.

Right initials but wrong way around.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 12:01

beencaughttrollin · 23/09/2026 11:47

Do you work in the same business as he does, but at a higher level/in a position where you have a clearer view of the situation than he does and/or comprehensive inside information? If not, butt out and let him do his job and manage his career (and of course, he should do the same for you).

No. I have an inkling that DH is not going to reach the top without significant coercion from the OP. I think she'll need to be the psychological driving force or he just isn't going to get that CEO parking space.

His nature sounds too full of the milk of human kindness to be a man about this.

Livelaughlurgy · 23/09/2026 12:01

I think on paper it's a great idea, very ambitious, not thinking like a woman at all. But, I think you may live to regret it.....

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:02

Littlebitpsycho · 23/09/2026 10:57

Why? Maybe he's happy with the position he has now?

If she wants more, why doesn't she go out and get a promotion? Or does she just want him to earn more so she can spend it.

OP leave the poor bloke alone, he's clearly doing very well without your input. If he wants another promotion he will go for it

Ah come on now. OP is clearly the brains behind the operation. She will go down in legend.

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 23/09/2026 12:03

You're interfering with his career. It's his, not yours. You are overstepping the mark and need to back off. I would be furious if my DH interfered with mine.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 12:05

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 23/09/2026 12:03

You're interfering with his career. It's his, not yours. You are overstepping the mark and need to back off. I would be furious if my DH interfered with mine.

Oh, don’t worry! She’ll live to regret it, big time.

MyMilchick · 23/09/2026 12:07

MellowSubmarine · 23/09/2026 09:32

Calm down Lady Macbeth, he’s only just got this promotion.

😂

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/09/2026 12:07

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 12:05

Oh, don’t worry! She’ll live to regret it, big time.

Too bloody right she will.

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:07

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/09/2026 11:37

Lol, I really hope you’re joking. I suggest you Woman Up and focus on your own job and promotion prospects.

But her career is inextricably tied to his. She’s not unreasonable for wanting to advance in life.

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:08

Redpaisley · 23/09/2026 11:38

Which company are you CEO of?

From OP’s previous threads it sounds like a Scottish company. Public ownership.

BillieWiper · 23/09/2026 12:09

You think the CEO will offer his own job to your husband because you cooked him a naice dinner? When your husband doesn't even want that job? And he's just got a new one?

Gawd. You sound like you are very hard to please. Like 'oh look a bought you a yacht.' No, sorry. I had my heart set on a cruise ship all to myself'.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 12:10

IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 23/09/2026 12:03

You're interfering with his career. It's his, not yours. You are overstepping the mark and need to back off. I would be furious if my DH interfered with mine.

Wait! This gives me a terrific idea for a drama.

So the story would be a Duchess who's husband has a chance at the throne if he just took one massive devious, evil, risk. All he needs is her to steel his nerve and the crown would be his.

The clever bit is that she leaves him alone. He makes a calm decision without her interference and decides not to chance it.

Then, in the third act, they live a happy peaceful life in quite a nice property.

It's gonna pack theatres and run and run. I'll be rich.

thestudio · 23/09/2026 12:10

BillieWiper · 23/09/2026 12:09

You think the CEO will offer his own job to your husband because you cooked him a naice dinner? When your husband doesn't even want that job? And he's just got a new one?

Gawd. You sound like you are very hard to please. Like 'oh look a bought you a yacht.' No, sorry. I had my heart set on a cruise ship all to myself'.

Lord, what fools these mortals be.

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 12:10

It's hardly a wild stab in the dark, is it.

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 12:12

thestudio · 23/09/2026 12:10

Lord, what fools these mortals be.

Fair is foul and foul is fair. It's only vaulting ambition for her husband.

I would say that nothing shall come of nothing but that's a whole other story...

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 12:13

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:07

But her career is inextricably tied to his. She’s not unreasonable for wanting to advance in life.

Agreed - but if she gets involved, she can’t wash her hands of it later.

Chunkybabythighs · 23/09/2026 12:14

I really wish I could understand the point of these type of threads

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/09/2026 12:15

Livelaughlurgy · 23/09/2026 12:01

I think on paper it's a great idea, very ambitious, not thinking like a woman at all. But, I think you may live to regret it.....

All the perfumes of Arabia shall not sweeten this little hand

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:16

BillieWiper · 23/09/2026 12:09

You think the CEO will offer his own job to your husband because you cooked him a naice dinner? When your husband doesn't even want that job? And he's just got a new one?

Gawd. You sound like you are very hard to please. Like 'oh look a bought you a yacht.' No, sorry. I had my heart set on a cruise ship all to myself'.

Ah, well it depends on what happens at the dinner, doesn’t it?

scoobysnaxx · 23/09/2026 12:16

What’s your career OP?

Butchyrestingface · 23/09/2026 12:17

Magicpaintbrush · 23/09/2026 11:59

I think this is a troll or Margot Leadbetter.

How VAIR dare you, you pigeon-liver’d, three-inch fool.

Master Shakespeare was no troll.

TheJoyousHiker · 23/09/2026 12:18

How's your own career coming along ?