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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for saying my DH needs to man tf up

369 replies

ambitiousqueen · 23/09/2026 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

OP posts:
Cartouche · 23/09/2026 22:59

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 22:47

I've heard it's better grub than the pot luck fondue place down the road. The three staff members are terrible communicators, too.

Don’t forget the Macbeths’ own drunk porter, who answers the door still pissed from the night before and whose idea of appropriate greeting to his employer’s colleagues is asking for a tip, pretending to be Beelzebub letting the damned into hell, and brewer’s droop.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 23:21

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 22:47

I've heard it's better grub than the pot luck fondue place down the road. The three staff members are terrible communicators, too.

Yes, I’ve looked at their menu and it’s all a bit Heston Blumenthal. Can’t say the Toe of Frog, Tongue of Dog, Lizard’s Leg etc appeal much but I suppose it’s part of the aim to use every part of the animal? It’s rumoured they’ve had a few nasty cases of food poisoning with their Hell-broth, though.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 24/09/2026 01:41

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 21:36

False face must hide what the false heart doth know.

🤦🏽‍♀️ I clearly missed that this was a playful post.

O Shame! Where is thy blush?
[Hamlet]

Tamtim · 24/09/2026 04:02

I think you might have married the wrong man.

maxslice · 24/09/2026 06:29

OP, in your post it seems clear that your husband is not particularly interested in “rising to the top”. His happy with his promotion and seems to believe that if he rises to the top, it will be in recognition for his skill and leadership not scheming and plotting. I admire his integrity, you seem the more ambitious partner. Let him be.

maxslice · 24/09/2026 06:38

NotTheDramaMum · 23/09/2026 18:45

ummm in this case its actually him that isn’t doing what he should by himself

Why should he? He seems happy where he is.

XMissPlacedX · 24/09/2026 08:31

MellowSubmarine · 23/09/2026 09:32

Calm down Lady Macbeth, he’s only just got this promotion.

lol

Damnloginpopup · 24/09/2026 08:32

maxslice · 24/09/2026 06:29

OP, in your post it seems clear that your husband is not particularly interested in “rising to the top”. His happy with his promotion and seems to believe that if he rises to the top, it will be in recognition for his skill and leadership not scheming and plotting. I admire his integrity, you seem the more ambitious partner. Let him be.

Edited

That would not be a tragedy.

Cartouche · 24/09/2026 08:51

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 22:35

Yes! They received the same kind attentions as their boss. The Macbeths were equal opportunity hosts.

The Macbeths wouldn’t have got away with it in the era of modern forensic science, which would have shown the pages died at the same time as Duncan rather than that Macbeth, on discovering Duncan’s body, slew them in a ‘fury’ because they were badg’d with blood and had weirdly left their daggers unwip’d upon their pillows and ^lain down for a nice night’s sleep after murdering the king in the room next door… I mean even nice, straightforward Macduff is a bit ‘Did you aye?’ when Macbeth says he’s just killed them.(Though you’d think someone would notice their bodies were cold?)

montysmaw · 24/09/2026 08:54

I wouldnt if you live in a forested area.

Cartouche · 24/09/2026 08:58

maxslice · 24/09/2026 06:29

OP, in your post it seems clear that your husband is not particularly interested in “rising to the top”. His happy with his promotion and seems to believe that if he rises to the top, it will be in recognition for his skill and leadership not scheming and plotting. I admire his integrity, you seem the more ambitious partner. Let him be.

Edited

But three weird psychics told him he was going to be CEO, and it was definitely true because they knew before he did that he’d just got a giant, unexpected promotion.

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 10:57

Ah yes, they “helpfully” told him the ends but not the means, juggling fiends that they were! Which left events very open to the OP’s imagination. I, for one, will never judge an enterprising woman for making the most of life opportunities in what - let’s face it - was very much a man’s world, with all that unseaming “from the nave to the chaps” etc. Team OP.

Cartouche · 24/09/2026 11:00

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 10:57

Ah yes, they “helpfully” told him the ends but not the means, juggling fiends that they were! Which left events very open to the OP’s imagination. I, for one, will never judge an enterprising woman for making the most of life opportunities in what - let’s face it - was very much a man’s world, with all that unseaming “from the nave to the chaps” etc. Team OP.

Pity me, I was an unusually late developer and played Lady M in a school production. My ‘Come to my woman’s breasts and take my milk for gall!’ speech was probably comedy gold.😃

Cartouche · 24/09/2026 11:01

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 10:57

Ah yes, they “helpfully” told him the ends but not the means, juggling fiends that they were! Which left events very open to the OP’s imagination. I, for one, will never judge an enterprising woman for making the most of life opportunities in what - let’s face it - was very much a man’s world, with all that unseaming “from the nave to the chaps” etc. Team OP.

Never trust a psychic!

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 24/09/2026 11:01

Has Mrs Mac come back? Seems like she didn’t like some of the answers. Or she has had a bad case of somnambulism.

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 11:04

I have just checked the poll ratings and can’t believe that 95% MNs think the OP is unreasonable! I have done my small bit to redress the balance!

Cartouche · 24/09/2026 11:04

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 24/09/2026 11:01

Has Mrs Mac come back? Seems like she didn’t like some of the answers. Or she has had a bad case of somnambulism.

She might have fast-forwarded to her sorry end? In which case, look out for suspiciously-moving woods.

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 11:08

There are reports of a wild-looking woman sitting wailing on a Scottish beach, with one hand in the waves, while the sea appears to be turning red…

BillieWiper · 24/09/2026 11:56

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 12:16

Ah, well it depends on what happens at the dinner, doesn’t it?

Hahah. I'm pretty slow it must be said! 😄

Thebestmumoftheworld · 24/09/2026 12:04

Super great!

Thebestmumoftheworld · 24/09/2026 12:05

This is so great! Lovely macbeth reference. Made me cackle for a while looking at the replies for the people who didn’t get the reference! The tempest next please!!

DannyDeever · 24/09/2026 12:16

Thebestmumoftheworld · 24/09/2026 12:05

This is so great! Lovely macbeth reference. Made me cackle for a while looking at the replies for the people who didn’t get the reference! The tempest next please!!

"I live on an island with my Dad. He's really into AI and he's got this virtual assistant assistant called Ariel... Anyway the whole Island is automated amd it freaks me out.

Anyway, this morning he used drones to sink a posh bloke on a yacht who was out sailing with my uncle.

Anyway, he's well fit and I've friended him on Snapchat but my Dad's being weird about it and wants me to unfriend him. I'm not going to and I'm going to try to see him when my Dad isn't around.

AIBU?"

(I've literally got an A-Level in the Tempest. This is the first time I've ever used it.)

Damnloginpopup · 24/09/2026 12:32

Thebestmumoftheworld · 24/09/2026 12:05

This is so great! Lovely macbeth reference. Made me cackle for a while looking at the replies for the people who didn’t get the reference! The tempest next please!!

I've already requested King Lear but if nothing shall come of nothing then I shall, of course, speak again 😁

I had a well good day yesterday 🤣

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 12:49

I vote King Lear next! I’ve always thought The Tempest was a bit of a storm in a teacup. (Sorry, DD!)

MagicMagpie · 24/09/2026 12:52

Plus, there are a lot more corpses in KL and the OP would feel right at home with Goneril and Regan.