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AIBU?

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AIBU for saying my DH needs to man tf up

369 replies

ambitiousqueen · 23/09/2026 09:31

DH has just gotten a very good job promotion, and I am very proud of him. Obviously. Lovely salary, lovely title, everyone congratulating him etc. BUT. He is destined for an even greater promotion (CEO level). Don't ask how I know this.
The problem is DH keeps saying he doesn't want to "get involved in office politics" and that “nature will take its course” I've tried encouraging him. I've said, hypothetically, if there was a person standing between my DH and the CEO position, then perhaps one might consider... removing the obstacle. metaphorically I mean
Also, I may have suggested that DH invite the current CEO round for a nice little dinner.Purely hospitality, obviously. DH said he was worried about the consequences, particularly the whole "divine judgement, eternal damnation" side of things. Blah blah blah
Honestly, he's overthinking it.
I am NOT saying DH should kill anyone. Obviously not... at least not with his eyes open. I'm only saying that hypothetically, if one wanted to rise to the very top, one might need to show a little more ambition
AIBU to think DH needs to man up and seize his opportunity?
FWIW, I’ve already laid out the plan, and the metaphorical dagger is just waiting to be used.

OP posts:
MrsLFii · 23/09/2026 19:50

MellowSubmarine · 23/09/2026 09:32

Calm down Lady Macbeth, he’s only just got this promotion.

😂

DolefullySingingMotherfucka · 23/09/2026 19:54

WearyAuldWumman · 23/09/2026 13:58

Honestly, I wouldn't trust her with kids...

A good point, I wouldn't ask her to babysit, but then she dosen't get over to Fife very much anyway.

DangerousLesions · 23/09/2026 19:55

"Man up"? Where have you been? I thought it was only football thugs who used terms like that anymore...

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 19:59

thetinsoldier · 23/09/2026 19:45

You have some odd and regressive ideas about masculinity. I’d leave your h alone and focus on your own career.

But don’t you see? If DH is CEO that clears the way for OP to be the real power behind the throne.

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 20:00

DangerousLesions · 23/09/2026 19:55

"Man up"? Where have you been? I thought it was only football thugs who used terms like that anymore...

OP has had to ask for her femininity to be dispelled to try and get on in life. Her DH really should be using his natural advantage.

thislittlelife · 23/09/2026 20:19

What are your career goals?

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 20:28

thislittlelife · 23/09/2026 20:19

What are your career goals?

Obvious, isn’t it? She’ll be running the operation once DH gets his act together and becomes CEO.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 23/09/2026 20:29

MellowSubmarine · 23/09/2026 09:32

Calm down Lady Macbeth, he’s only just got this promotion.

🤣

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 20:47

DangerousLesions · 23/09/2026 19:55

"Man up"? Where have you been? I thought it was only football thugs who used terms like that anymore...

Nah. It's common parlance here in the real world. Damned be him that first cries 'Hold, enough".

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 20:55

thislittlelife · 23/09/2026 20:19

What are your career goals?

We can't reasonably claim the OP lacks personal ambition.

AnonyMumAuDHD · 23/09/2026 21:08

I think you are living in a fantasy world. My DH is of a similar rank and position and he has got there by quietly establishing that he is an ally - eg by saving his senior colleague’s bacon in crises so that they know he has their back and can be relied upon to put the department/company above personal ego. NOT by back stabbing. He absolutely avoids all office politics, keeps his nose clean, ensures that he hires and trains the best staff with the future of the company at the core of his decision-making. He works his socks off and makes sure his contribution to his work is world leading and as faultless as humanly possible because a mistake can cost the company millions.

And he would NEVER invite the boss home to meet the wife. That hasn’t been done in most business circles for decades - because it leaves the boss open to accusations of favouritism and the company vulnerable to an employment tribunal. I’ve only met my DH’s bosses when they have retired/left the company.

Leave your DH alone. He’s clearly good at what he does, hence the promotion. You need to back off.

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 21:36

AnonyMumAuDHD · 23/09/2026 21:08

I think you are living in a fantasy world. My DH is of a similar rank and position and he has got there by quietly establishing that he is an ally - eg by saving his senior colleague’s bacon in crises so that they know he has their back and can be relied upon to put the department/company above personal ego. NOT by back stabbing. He absolutely avoids all office politics, keeps his nose clean, ensures that he hires and trains the best staff with the future of the company at the core of his decision-making. He works his socks off and makes sure his contribution to his work is world leading and as faultless as humanly possible because a mistake can cost the company millions.

And he would NEVER invite the boss home to meet the wife. That hasn’t been done in most business circles for decades - because it leaves the boss open to accusations of favouritism and the company vulnerable to an employment tribunal. I’ve only met my DH’s bosses when they have retired/left the company.

Leave your DH alone. He’s clearly good at what he does, hence the promotion. You need to back off.

False face must hide what the false heart doth know.

FlippingGiraffe · 23/09/2026 21:41

You’d play an excellent Corrie baddie

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 21:42

Actually, this was much worse than inviting the boss for dinner. He stayed the night too and sadly, the hospitality was not what was expected.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 21:52

I think you are living in a fantasy world.

You might be right.

NOT by back stabbing.

🤔

Theotheron · 23/09/2026 22:01

But screw your courage to the sticking place,
And we'll not fail.

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 22:04

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 21:42

Actually, this was much worse than inviting the boss for dinner. He stayed the night too and sadly, the hospitality was not what was expected.

I remember those days well, the boss over for dinner. I have supped full with horrors.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 22:12

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 22:04

I remember those days well, the boss over for dinner. I have supped full with horrors.

Me too, but the time has been when my senses would have cool’d to hear a night-shriek.

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 22:16

AnonyMumAuDHD · 23/09/2026 21:08

I think you are living in a fantasy world. My DH is of a similar rank and position and he has got there by quietly establishing that he is an ally - eg by saving his senior colleague’s bacon in crises so that they know he has their back and can be relied upon to put the department/company above personal ego. NOT by back stabbing. He absolutely avoids all office politics, keeps his nose clean, ensures that he hires and trains the best staff with the future of the company at the core of his decision-making. He works his socks off and makes sure his contribution to his work is world leading and as faultless as humanly possible because a mistake can cost the company millions.

And he would NEVER invite the boss home to meet the wife. That hasn’t been done in most business circles for decades - because it leaves the boss open to accusations of favouritism and the company vulnerable to an employment tribunal. I’ve only met my DH’s bosses when they have retired/left the company.

Leave your DH alone. He’s clearly good at what he does, hence the promotion. You need to back off.

Yes but OP’s DH is only concerned with nepotism and will never promote DH above his own sons. This isn’t fair and OP is right to impress this upon DH.

Itsjustgonenoonhalfpastmonsoon · 23/09/2026 22:20

Nothing to man up about. He’ll go for another promotion when he’s good and ready.

FCCRULES · 23/09/2026 22:27

Itsjustgonenoonhalfpastmonsoon · 23/09/2026 22:20

Nothing to man up about. He’ll go for another promotion when he’s good and ready.

The opportunity might not present itself again.

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 22:28

Damnloginpopup · 23/09/2026 22:04

I remember those days well, the boss over for dinner. I have supped full with horrors.

Well, Duncan’s dinner didn’t end well and the next one featured a ghost, dripping gore. Honestly, who would dine chez the Macbeths? The cuisine must be truly excellent.

Cartouche · 23/09/2026 22:30

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 21:42

Actually, this was much worse than inviting the boss for dinner. He stayed the night too and sadly, the hospitality was not what was expected.

Plus he brought staff with him…

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 22:35

Yes! They received the same kind attentions as their boss. The Macbeths were equal opportunity hosts.

DannyDeever · 23/09/2026 22:47

MagicMagpie · 23/09/2026 22:28

Well, Duncan’s dinner didn’t end well and the next one featured a ghost, dripping gore. Honestly, who would dine chez the Macbeths? The cuisine must be truly excellent.

I've heard it's better grub than the pot luck fondue place down the road. The three staff members are terrible communicators, too.