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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to count my son’s bedroom makeover as a birthday gift?

175 replies

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:19

My son is turning 8 next month and we are planning to decorate his bedroom as part of his birthday.
He needs a few things doing anyway - fresh paint, a new rug, some storage, and generally making it feel a bit more grown up.
Part of me thinks it will be really exciting for him and a nice birthday surprise, but another part of me feels a bit guilty because decorating his room is arguably something we should be doing anyway, rather than counting it as a birthday present.

He is having a birthday party, so it’s not his only birthday treat, but I’m wondering what other parents think.
Is decorating a child’s bedroom for their birthday a bit off, or is it a perfectly reasonable birthday gift when it’s something they’ll genuinely enjoy and benefit from?

Would you have considered a room makeover as part of a birthday when your children were around this age?

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 21/09/2026 14:53

I think some of the stuff could be done as gifts eg gaming light, pictures etc as I'd but my DD10 these kind of things for her room as a gift. I wouldn't count and essential items as part of the room upgrade as a gift though.

Original poster
QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:56

We will just do the bedroom and not include it in his birthday I think. I might fill his room with balloons or something, to make it special when he sees it decorated, but won’t make a point of including it as part of his birthday gifts.

OP posts:
Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:59

Has he seen the gaming light etc? If not - surely that’s a gift you can wrap?

Lyd8 · 21/09/2026 15:00

We did this recently for our 8 year actually, he wanted a change of “theme” so not much change in decorations but new bedding, storage, curtains, posters, bits and bobs etc.

He also had a party, we explained that he wouldn’t haven as many presents as normal because his bedroom was part of his present.

He understood and was more than happy with his bedroom AND gifts AND a party!

Bumbelinaaa · 21/09/2026 15:01

Nope.

My parent did things like this and it was really disappointing

Cooshawn · 21/09/2026 15:01

What? No. Decorating a bedroom for a kid is just something you do, it isn't a gift.

Lobelia123 · 21/09/2026 15:05

I think house decorating (which this essentially is) is for the parents' account, not the child's. So yes I feel you are being unreasonable. Dont dress something up as a gift when its actually for the house - even though its his room.

Onelifeonly · 21/09/2026 15:06

A child of 8 doesn't care that much about having their bedroom decorated. If you own your house, you are potentially adding to its saleability in the future - but one day he will most likely not even be living there. YABU. A child only gets 18 birthdays as a child and won't remember the first few.

LBFseBrom · 21/09/2026 15:09

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:22

Yes he knows it’s part of his birthday gift, along with the party.
We’ve obviously bought him a few gifts too.

Oh that's OK as you've bought him some gifts, first of all I thought you meant doing his room was his birthday present and that would be a bit mean.

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 15:11

Lyd8 · 21/09/2026 15:00

We did this recently for our 8 year actually, he wanted a change of “theme” so not much change in decorations but new bedding, storage, curtains, posters, bits and bobs etc.

He also had a party, we explained that he wouldn’t haven as many presents as normal because his bedroom was part of his present.

He understood and was more than happy with his bedroom AND gifts AND a party!

What gifts did you buy him?

ReturnYourParcel · 21/09/2026 15:13

YANBU. We did similar for our son's 10th birthday and our daughter's 12th. They wanted to change the layout and decor of their rooms, so we did that as their birthday present.

We had limited finances in those days, so couldn't do the rooms plus a gift plus a party. They had the rooms only, as that was all we could afford.

Money can only be spent once, so if it's spent on a room makeover it's gone - and there is none available to be spent on a birthday gift.

Lyd8 · 21/09/2026 15:13

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 15:11

What gifts did you buy him?

Show quote history

Not that it matters much, but things he asked for, clothes, books, a few toys a some sports gear for the garden.

theneighbourgotmycake · 21/09/2026 15:14

PART of it, is fine. Basically as long as you get him the gifts he would have had even if you didn't redecorate the room.

The gift should be something to unwrap, like a fun lamp, or fun accessories to go with the new decor. Even a new bookcase if you show it empty apart from a pack of gift wrap books.

Paint, curtains, and a bed for an 8 yo? Obviously not a gift.

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 15:15

Lyd8 · 21/09/2026 15:13

Not that it matters much, but things he asked for, clothes, books, a few toys a some sports gear for the garden.

Show quote history

Well it does rather

Because you could have said…. A switch, a new bike, a huge Lego set etc etc

ReturnYourParcel · 21/09/2026 15:18

Onelifeonly · 21/09/2026 15:06

A child of 8 doesn't care that much about having their bedroom decorated. If you own your house, you are potentially adding to its saleability in the future - but one day he will most likely not even be living there. YABU. A child only gets 18 birthdays as a child and won't remember the first few.

I think you're right that people probably only remember memorable birthdays. I only remember my 6th and my 18th, probably because I had a party for those (albeit very low key ones, in my parents' living room). All the rest were unremarkable and I don't remember them. But I don't see that as a problem.

BushyDreamer · 21/09/2026 15:22

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

I actually think that's plenty.

Your op was a bit ambiguous and it sounded like you were blowing the budget on his room.

Lexingtonavenueandme · 21/09/2026 15:24

I wouldn’t decorate my son’s room as a birthday present no.

Mumtotornadoes · 21/09/2026 15:26

You'd be doing it anyway. So it's not a present. It's like getting a winter coat or new trainers as a present. It's just a cop out tbh. If money's tight then needs must. But it's a sucky part of being poor, not an active choice.

TheJoyousHiker · 21/09/2026 15:28

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

I was thinking that it would be unfair for the re-decorated room to be his birthday present, until I got to your post with a list of what gifts you’ve bought him - those gifts are perfectly acceptable for an 8 year old’s birthday. Surely it’s enough ?

(Though I am wondering why you’d decorated an 8 year old’s room in a gaming style).

Original poster
QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 15:30

@Mumtotornadoes
Funny you should say that, my in laws are very well off and have in the past gifted my DS a winter coat for his birthday/christmas which I thought seemed tight at the same , particularly as they are really well off! They didn’t seem to think it was a problem!

OP posts:
BugJuice · 21/09/2026 15:31

TheJoyousHiker · 21/09/2026 15:28

I was thinking that it would be unfair for the re-decorated room to be his birthday present, until I got to your post with a list of what gifts you’ve bought him - those gifts are perfectly acceptable for an 8 year old’s birthday. Surely it’s enough ?

(Though I am wondering why you’d decorated an 8 year old’s room in a gaming style).

Show quote history

It sounds like it’s because that’s what he likes, and has asked for? Why else?

Anothercake · 21/09/2026 15:32

If that's his main present I think that's pretty tight. If his room needs doing it needs doing. He should have an actual present as well.

Original poster
QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 15:32

@TheJoyousHiker
He likes gaming. He’s got Minecraft accessories too.

OP posts:
oviraptor21 · 21/09/2026 15:32

You have already bought plenty of gifts but for what it's worth, one of my best birthday presents was a room makeover. I'd just inherited my sister's bedroom as she moved out. I could either have her decor choices or a nice new bedroom of my own choosing. That was a great birthday present. And what's with the multiple presents. Children really don't need so many presents.
And finally - I hope your DS is not going to be allowed to game in his bedroom. It's a slippery slope.

AvacadoChic · 21/09/2026 15:35

I think it's a great idea. It can be a bonus part of the birthday. A party, some gifts and a new room. It doesn't take anything away from his birthday, it's just an extra treat

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