Page 2 | AIBU to count my son’s bedroom makeover as a birthday gift?

QuirksAndCardigans · 2026-09-21T13:19:14+00:00

My son is turning 8 next month and we are planning to decorate his bedroom as part of his birthday. He needs a few things doing anyway - fresh paint, a new rug, some storage, and generally making it feel a bit more grown up. Part of me thinks it will be really exciting for him and a nice birthday surprise, but another part of me feels a bit guilty because decorating his room is arguably something we should be doing anyway, rather than counting it as a birthday present. He is having a birthday party, so it’s not his only birthday treat, but I’m wondering what other parents think. Is decorating a child’s bedroom for their birthday a bit off, or is it a perfectly reasonable birthday gift when it’s something they’ll genuinely enjoy and benefit from? Would you have considered a room makeover as part of a birthday when your children were around this age?

Original poster

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

OP posts:

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:32

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:28

We’re stripping the wallpaper (as it’s a bit young for him now) re-painting with a colour of his choice, bought some cool new furniture in ‘gaming’ style (we gave him options to choose from). A nice new rug. Repainting the furniture etc too.
Also getting him a few nice pictures and gaming accessories for the walls as well.

None of this, absolutely none of this would be regarded by a birthday boy on his 8th as a gift!!

backformoreofthesame · 21/09/2026 14:32

Well that sounds quite enough

Freya1542 · 21/09/2026 14:32

"We’ll decorate his room either way"

You've answered your own question really @QuirksAndCardigans so why would you bundle it up as a "birthday gift"?

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:33

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

Well that seems ok…. But yes maybe not mention the room as a birthday present!

Original poster

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:34

@Butsometimesnot
Oh dear. I’m way off the mark aren’t I. Oops.
It’s fortunate he’s got a few gifts to open on the day and a party.
I will now be thinking of some more things for him as gifts.

OP posts:

JESSICAASHLEY · 21/09/2026 14:34

Yes 100% ok to include this in his birthday presents. We've done this in the past!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/09/2026 14:35

My daughter had a double bed as a birthday present once at her request. She didn't need a new bed but she wanted one. But redecoration isn't something to give as a birthday present. It's akin to an adult getting an ironing board or set of saucepans for a birthday present

Catza · 21/09/2026 14:35

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

You already have far too much! Stop. Your child has enough presents.

Original poster

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:35

@Freya1542
I think because we’re not spending as much as we normally would on his birthday because we’re using some of that for the bedroom.

OP posts:

Illbethereinaminute · 21/09/2026 14:36

I did something similar for one of my kids birthdays.

The two of them used to share but the eldest started wanting to sleep in the spare room so I told him that for his birthday he could have his very own room. I decorated it, put a bed in there, themed it and he was allowed to see it finished on his birthday.

We also got him presents, took him out for the day and for dinner to places that he chose.

He did say he wasn't very happy with the quantity of presents though (about ten overall) but he was only 7.

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:36

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:34

@Butsometimesnot
Oh dear. I’m way off the mark aren’t I. Oops.
It’s fortunate he’s got a few gifts to open on the day and a party.
I will now be thinking of some more things for him as gifts.

What 7 year old on his 8th birthday would be thinking “well of course my main birthday present was mum and dad striping my wall and getting a new rug”. He won’t. So just don’t mention it as a present anymore.

Sounds like you have a nice selection of other gifts anyway. Maybe just another Lego set or something

underthehawthorntree · 21/09/2026 14:37

I think what you've described is definitely part of a present since he's got gaming furniture and helped choose things. You've also listed lots of gifts for him too to open. I think it all sounds lovely OP and more than enough.

comealongdobbeh · 21/09/2026 14:37

I’d say if he’s involved in the choices of decoration and you put it to him as a gift then it’s ok.

if you’re planning to make all the choices then no, not a gift, just something you should be doing anyway

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:37

Illbethereinaminute · 21/09/2026 14:36

I did something similar for one of my kids birthdays.

The two of them used to share but the eldest started wanting to sleep in the spare room so I told him that for his birthday he could have his very own room. I decorated it, put a bed in there, themed it and he was allowed to see it finished on his birthday.

We also got him presents, took him out for the day and for dinner to places that he chose.

He did say he wasn't very happy with the quantity of presents though (about ten overall) but he was only 7.

Oh now that sounds special! Going from sharing a bedroom with your annoying younger sibling to your very own private room! Bliss

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/09/2026 14:37

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:31

I’ll look at buying him some more gifts. As I feel crappy now.
I’ve already got him two books, a Nintendo switch game, a story for his tonie box, a science themed hunan body puzzle and a Lego set.

That is plenty of presents

CarrotJuiceandTurmeric · 21/09/2026 14:38

I'd find this a bit disappointing and I'm 49 😂

The gifts sounds fine. Just give them as gifts and don't roll the bedroom into it.

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:38

JESSICAASHLEY · 21/09/2026 14:34

Yes 100% ok to include this in his birthday presents. We've done this in the past!

Sure the Op can say it’s part of his birthday presents but no way will an 8 year old boy actually think of it as such

thisoldcity · 21/09/2026 14:39

Sounds fine to me. He's having a party and presents as well.

Freya1542 · 21/09/2026 14:49

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:35

@Freya1542
I think because we’re not spending as much as we normally would on his birthday because we’re using some of that for the bedroom.

so effectively you're spending less on his birthday gifts because you're using part of the budget you'd normally spend, and allocating it for decorating his bedroom.

The bedroom, which you would decorate either way. 🤷

Obviously many others think it's acceptable.

Smartiepants79 · 21/09/2026 14:50

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:34

@Butsometimesnot
Oh dear. I’m way off the mark aren’t I. Oops.
It’s fortunate he’s got a few gifts to open on the day and a party.
I will now be thinking of some more things for him as gifts.

I completely disagree with some people here. We’ve done this as part of their birthday gifts before now. Special bedding and accessories, chosen by him is fine as part of his birthday. Alongside a party and some fairly expensive gifts (switch). He’s getting plenty and if he’s excited about his new room then that’s all that matters. Don’t get bullied into buying more crap by strangers on the internet. Gifts can useful.

backformoreofthesame · 21/09/2026 14:51

QuirksAndCardigans · 21/09/2026 14:35

@Freya1542
I think because we’re not spending as much as we normally would on his birthday because we’re using some of that for the bedroom.

That’s daft and he’s unlikely to realise either

love isn’t money and it isn’t how much you spend on him and the things you buy him. You are not a better or more loving parent by spending more. You won’t make him any happier either.

Smartiepants79 · 21/09/2026 14:52

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:38

Sure the Op can say it’s part of his birthday presents but no way will an 8 year old boy actually think of it as such

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Again, I disagree. My children happily considered room makeovers a present. They have on at least 2 occasions actually requested it as Xmas/birthday presents.

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:52

backformoreofthesame · 21/09/2026 14:51

That’s daft and he’s unlikely to realise either

love isn’t money and it isn’t how much you spend on him and the things you buy him. You are not a better or more loving parent by spending more. You won’t make him any happier either.

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I think that is the point

The Op can say whatever she likes but this very young birthday boy simply won’t regard a new rug as a birthday present!!

Butsometimesnot · 21/09/2026 14:53

Smartiepants79 · 21/09/2026 14:52

Again, I disagree. My children happily considered room makeovers a present. They have on at least 2 occasions actually requested it as Xmas/birthday presents.

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A 7 year old on his 8th birthday is categorically not going to think about his freshly painted walls and new rug and furniture and regard them as birthday presents. He just won’t.