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AIBU?

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Husband has never heard of HRT. I find it odd...

94 replies

NoKnit · 21/09/2026 09:54

So I'm a woman of that kind of age and I've got a gynaecologist appointment next week and the doctor has brought up HRT before.

When I was talking to my husband over the weekend he had never heard of it 🙄Is his head really in the sand? I'm not expecting him to be fully read up on it but honestly his reaction was a bit like I'd just told him I was thinking of putting after sun on my sunburn 😅

He really had no idea and I'm not sure he gets hormonal changes when women go through the menopause. It's not that he is dim either, university educated, software engineer.

Not really an AIBU but isn't it strange he knows nothing about it?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 21/09/2026 11:55

VenusThighTrap · 21/09/2026 11:00

I talk to mine about it. My mum suffered a lot but we never discussed why she was having such a rough time. I am glad I can talk to my kids about big life events.

I never talked to DD about it at the time, but she was only 7. Luckily, I got off pretty lightly compared to most women, apart from hormonal migraines.

Maisymouse2 · 21/09/2026 11:59

Hes a bloke perhapsnhe has never taken a keen interest in the peri meno information.
I dont think you need a universoty education to be on to it in that way either.
Perhaps he could see a few memes and a one page run down..for when or if he chooses to read it.
Im sure he will know of you do not take the hrt.

Burningbud1981 · 21/09/2026 12:11

NoKnit · 21/09/2026 11:12

Yes exactly what I thought

Really where on mainstream TV? The only thing I’ve seen recently is Eastenders where the characters Honey Mitchell requested HRT from her GP. Otherwise no.. I’ve recently started taking HRT and my own knowledge was very limited. It’s not something I discussed with my mum not remember her going though it. So not sure what the big deal is TBH as long as he’s supportive.. it’s really not that deep

Sunbringer · 21/09/2026 12:19

He’s a man. He’s likely heard something about it but dismissed it from his brain as nothing he will ever have to deal with because it’s women’s stuff. Then it just doesn’t stick.

Morepositivemum · 21/09/2026 12:19

AdeleRochester

totally fair enough but I was well moved out when she would have been going through it, and that that age when life is work and periods you won’t register it in the same way you will when you’re going through it. I talk to my mum about it now but back then she would have said about hot flushes etc and I’d feel bad for her but you don’t identify in the same way

Coconutter24 · 21/09/2026 13:31

sunshine314 · 21/09/2026 10:31

Selective hearing? lol. it only registers when it's important to them.

I know what a prostate is, so yes, he should know! At least he knows now?!

Are there other blind spots in his knowledge? does he know anything else about women? or just this one thing?

Edited

Knowing what a prostate is, it totally different to knowing what HRT is. Most people know body parts and glands etc, not many people know names of medications we use to treat things

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 14:04

Rachelshair · 21/09/2026 10:55

I would talk to other women about it, what use will your husband be? He'll know nothing and probably just annoy you immensely. Taking HRT doesn't really need support from a husband does it?

My FIL seemed to ditch his latest partner when menopause symptoms started. Having a supportive DH is important

NullaEffugium · 21/09/2026 14:33

NoKnit · 21/09/2026 09:54

So I'm a woman of that kind of age and I've got a gynaecologist appointment next week and the doctor has brought up HRT before.

When I was talking to my husband over the weekend he had never heard of it 🙄Is his head really in the sand? I'm not expecting him to be fully read up on it but honestly his reaction was a bit like I'd just told him I was thinking of putting after sun on my sunburn 😅

He really had no idea and I'm not sure he gets hormonal changes when women go through the menopause. It's not that he is dim either, university educated, software engineer.

Not really an AIBU but isn't it strange he knows nothing about it?

How much do you know about TRT?

luckylavender · 21/09/2026 14:36

I'm not at all sure my husband would know. When I went through the menopause I was fully against having HRT so it never came up in conversation.

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 14:44

luckylavender · 21/09/2026 14:36

I'm not at all sure my husband would know. When I went through the menopause I was fully against having HRT so it never came up in conversation.

Why were you against it? Has health benefits.

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 14:46

NullaEffugium · 21/09/2026 14:33

How much do you know about TRT?

HRT is more common

seahorsessky · 21/09/2026 14:48

A lot of us automatically think of HRT on the backs on the agents on TV shows when we hear the term, and men particularly have probably seem it more used it that context.
And I'm ashamed to say I know very little. It's like it's been talked about in the last decade or so, but I wasn't aware until recently about the different "bits" and still hardly know anything about brands/methods. Ok, I'm not menopausal yet, but I knew all sorts about types of births/feeding etc long before pregnancy, so it's a societal issue.
Some famous women who are about 50 say how they are told to shut up about menopause, because far from improving, our society is more anti older women than ever. Some women feel they "need" to have botox to matter, and women are supposed to look under 45 when they're 60-look at pictures of 45 year old women in the 60s compared to now.
So my point is I don't blame your husband-I blame all of us!

Loverurarliving01 · 21/09/2026 14:55

Why is it odd that he hasn’t heard of it? I’m a woman and I had never heard about HRT either. I’d never even heard anyone mention it before.

Do you know about every health issue or treatment that is specific to men? Probably not, unless you had a reason to learn about them.

Why would your husband know about HRT unless he had a personal reason to come across it or someone close to him had discussed it? It’s not something everyone is automatically aware of.

Flintgranet · 21/09/2026 14:57

Yes, that's fairly ignorant of him.

DH knows about HRT and menopause. - not in great detail but certainly he understands what it is and why a woman may take it. It comes up occasionally in general chat at his work or down the pub with friends. It's on TV and radio. And it's pretty basic biology.

bababamama · 21/09/2026 14:57

It wasn’t talked about in the past, this openness is pretty new.

Flintgranet · 21/09/2026 15:01

Loverurarliving01 · 21/09/2026 14:55

Why is it odd that he hasn’t heard of it? I’m a woman and I had never heard about HRT either. I’d never even heard anyone mention it before.

Do you know about every health issue or treatment that is specific to men? Probably not, unless you had a reason to learn about them.

Why would your husband know about HRT unless he had a personal reason to come across it or someone close to him had discussed it? It’s not something everyone is automatically aware of.

As a woman, you have never heard of hrt? How old are you?

Hey, no time like the present to start reading up on menopause and hrt!

Needmorelego · 21/09/2026 15:02

There's a very big difference between knowing about the menopause and knowing about any medication related to it.
Both my husband, brother in law and mum all have diabetes.
They take a medication called Metformin.
Until they were diagnosed I had never heard of the medication - as far as I knew people took insulin for diabetes.
I only recently found out there are different types of asthma inhalers (blue and brown?). I didn't know that.
But I had heard of diabetes and I had heard of asthma.

luckylavender · 21/09/2026 15:03

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 14:44

Why were you against it? Has health benefits.

I don't really want to argue with anyone, it just wasn't for me.

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 15:05

Needmorelego · 21/09/2026 15:02

There's a very big difference between knowing about the menopause and knowing about any medication related to it.
Both my husband, brother in law and mum all have diabetes.
They take a medication called Metformin.
Until they were diagnosed I had never heard of the medication - as far as I knew people took insulin for diabetes.
I only recently found out there are different types of asthma inhalers (blue and brown?). I didn't know that.
But I had heard of diabetes and I had heard of asthma.

HRT is common term for medication for menopause. there are different forms of HRT which I wouldn't expect everyone to know. And I would assume people have been living under a rock in this country to have not even heard of HRT (even if they don't know specific details)

Needmorelego · 21/09/2026 15:19

sittingonabeach · 21/09/2026 15:05

HRT is common term for medication for menopause. there are different forms of HRT which I wouldn't expect everyone to know. And I would assume people have been living under a rock in this country to have not even heard of HRT (even if they don't know specific details)

Although people might be aware of "Hormone Replacement Therapy" rather than "HRT".
A lot of acronyms mean nothing to people.

moonraker0 · 21/09/2026 15:19

Needmorelego · 21/09/2026 15:02

There's a very big difference between knowing about the menopause and knowing about any medication related to it.
Both my husband, brother in law and mum all have diabetes.
They take a medication called Metformin.
Until they were diagnosed I had never heard of the medication - as far as I knew people took insulin for diabetes.
I only recently found out there are different types of asthma inhalers (blue and brown?). I didn't know that.
But I had heard of diabetes and I had heard of asthma.

You’ve written exactly what I was thinking only better! I think knowing something exists doesn’t mean you know how it’s treated. One of my staff educated us all about diabetes because he has it and wanted us to know what to do if he had a hypo.

OttersOnAPlane · 21/09/2026 15:23

Fern26 · 21/09/2026 10:01

I’m 100% sure my Dad wouldn’t know either. He is in his 60’s, doubtful my mum would have gone into much detail with him either.

My dad's in his 80s and he knows about it! Why wouldn't a man in his 60s?
He and my mum called them Happy Patches, because they meant my mum didn't want to kill everyone.

ReturnYourParcel · 21/09/2026 15:31

Needmorelego · 21/09/2026 10:17

I am a 51 year old menopausal woman and I have heard of HRT but I have never needed it as far as I know so literally I have heard of it as much as I have heard of some medications but never needed them.
Would you expect him to have heard of every medication out there?
I actually have no clue what the symptoms are that mean some woman use it.

Edited

You sound a bit like I was at the same age, feeling lucky that I had very few symptoms of menopause and not needing any medical intervention.

Then at age 61, 11 years after menopause, I had a bone scan and was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis.

If I had been given HRT at 50, it would have protected my bones. Not only that, it protects against heart disease and dementia also.

I finally started HRT when I was 64. Too late for the really robust protections it provides to younger women, but better late than never! I'm hoping it will help to prevent my bones from further deterioration.

I urge all women of menopause age to consider taking HRT, not only because it helps with menopause symptoms but also because of the protection of the bones and the cardiovascular system.

Fern26 · 21/09/2026 15:33

OttersOnAPlane · 21/09/2026 15:23

My dad's in his 80s and he knows about it! Why wouldn't a man in his 60s?
He and my mum called them Happy Patches, because they meant my mum didn't want to kill everyone.

I never said all men in their 60’s, I said my Dad is in his 60’s and I guarantee he wouldn’t know what HRT was. Looking through this thread there are many men of various ages that don’t know what it is.
My mum has never needed HRT so no need to discuss it with him or bring it up in conversation.

Pedant61 · 21/09/2026 15:39

Why would he? It's never been something that's been an issue for him.
How many women really know about the prostate, let's face it!
Also, men have a much better attitude to health than most females (yes, I'm female), as in "If I'm not ill, why should I bother about health stuff?"..... we should all be more like this, tbh.