AIBU to think my cousin cannot claim exclusive use of a name?

I hate when people say you should be flattered when someone copies you. Triggers me from my school days 😂 my daughter has a friend who copies every single fucking thing she does, down to the lunch box and water bottle. It’s driving her absolutely demented! “You should be flattered” does not help, it just dismisses the feeling.

I would understand where the cousins are coming from if they were a closer relative eg sibling but cousin for me is sufficiently distant that I think it’s fine. If that rambling nonsense makes sense. It’s early.

Yanbu. He sounds like a total nightmare.
Although I would never have used a name already in the family as it's easy for everyone to get muddled. I have a common name and it's a headache.

It would have ensured no explosions of outrage could occur, as they are clearly the huffy type and you'd have been aware of that, of course.

Why would OP have been aware of it, especially as there was apparently no issue about another family baby getting the same name as their first child?

In my family at two nephews and at least one dog share the same name.

We manage.

Meh. My cousin's son has the same name as my DSis's son. Born about 6 months apart. Nobody in the family has ever considered this to be an issue.

Your cousin sounds ridiculous. I would just let him get on with it tbh. If he doesn't speak to you again, it doesn't sound like it will be a terrible loss.

It wouldn’t bother me. I can understand someone finding this vaguely irritating but not to this extent. Why not just make clear to Grandparents you don’t want to hear anymore - their behaviour in passing all of this on is just as unhinged.

I meant about the cousin’s and her DH’s general temperament. The easy eruption of angry responses must have been observed many times over the years.

Unless it is a family name I do find it bizarre out of the thousands of the names in the world that 2 close relations choose the same name.

Must it?

These people aren’t close family. They see each other once every couple of years at weddings and funerals, which aren’t really places where guests “easily erupt” into temper

The dog was there first.

They sound odd but I do think it is weird to call your baby the same name as someone else in the family.

It's an unpopular view on here but cousins big Kate and little Kate is just silly.

I'm named after one of my Aunt's, which is fine, but having a gathering of my grandmother her two sister's and their daughter's would be a nightmare four of each christian name and not common names either. When my mother talked about them she always had to add the surnames as well. The sisters were very close and I'm sure they thought it was a nice thing to do. But I'm perpetually confused about which one I am thinking about in the family tree and it took me a while to figure it all out. I haven't found anything like it in any other branches or at any other times. Things like calling your first son after your father is very common and was practically the default at some times.

Did your first born have a family name?

Only they wouldnt be aa they would be second cousins .

I think it’s sillier not to call your child a name you love just because once every couple of years at a family wedding, you might have to use big Kate and little Kate to distinguish.

They are being so uptight and petty, just ignore it - like water off a duck’s back.

I don’t even know what my cousins have called their children. it wouldn’t enter my head to worry about it.

Why are the grandparents shit stirring?

I’d be more annoyed with them for not shutting down the idiotic cousins, to be honest.

In your shoes, I’d simply forget that the cousins even exist from now on.

They are nuts and I feel that them not ever speaking to you again is a win for you. Your grandparents need to tell them that they are sick of hearing about this and don't want to hear another word from them on the subject.

Forgot to say, one of my friends and her cousin have daughters with the same name and they see each other all the time. My friend, who had her daughter first, couldn't care less.

Personally I would avoid choosing a name that already exists in the family, unless of course it’s a homage to a grandparent or older relative. It’s a one thing to have two Lucy’s or Emma’s but if it is an unusual name then I’d just not like there being a duplicate in the same generation. Having said that, it’s entirely up to you what you name your child, and not up to other people to be dicks about it. So you do you, and don’t lose any more sleep over it.

Their response is disproportionate but I do think it's weird to have named her the same name.

Why ?
They are second cousins who will barely see each other.

Why are your grandparents stirring the pot? Surely they shouldn’t be passing on these horrible comments. Just crack on as you are, it’s not like you’re going to change your baby’s name now!

I don't like the idea of my grandparents having to refer to their grand kids as "big Emma" and "little Emma" or "taps Emma" and "Nigel's Emma" etc. I don't like my child being thought of by family as "the other Emma".

just becuase you don’t like an idea still doesn’t mean people have to jump to your tune

we have so many Steve’s in our family it’s an affectionate joke it have big steve as the small one, , they have different short/nick names and we all seem to be happy

It's ridiculous seeing as you hardly see them. Tell the grandparents you don't want to hear about it any more. It sounds like you won't have to worry about bumping into them at family events now either.

Ach, as you wish then