To think my husband did not go too far and they should just get over it ?

So then don’t go round there if neither of them are capable of dealing with the comments or formulating an articulate response.

poor kids.

He did nothing wrong. They were extremely rude so he gave them some of their own medicine. They will think before they speak next time.

Nah, I’m with your husband. If she can give, then she can take.

She was also going after something personal (ie how you choose to parent as a family) so I’m not sure why mentioning her weight is some mortal sin. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

What have you done about their behaviour?

I remember the first time we visited my parents with baby DC. My Nan also visited that day. We had been travelling for a couple of hours so as soon as we arrived DH took DC to change nappy. My Nan asked me whether I was ill as it wasn’t DH’s job to do that! I soon put them all straight that DH was perfectly capable of changing a nappy and apart from feeding DC (as breastfeeding) he could do everything I could with a baby

I've often wondered why "Be Kind" is aimed at women?

Hmmmmmmmm...

If he’d snapped and said, “Oh, fuck off, Gertrude, it’s absolutely none of your business,” I’d probably applaud. But he brought her weight into it when that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic, and it’s telling that that’s where his mind went.

They were rude, but their rudeness was absolutely nothing to do with their weight - so why did he bring it up if not to be nasty and spiteful?

He was agressive and extremely rude. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with such a person.

Yeah its a real shame he couldn’t have kept his cool and held into the moral high ground.

They are clearly appalling with incredibly backward views and he was well within his rights to tell them to back off… but he chose to go down the route of personally insulting them.

Massive own goal and he probably should apologise.

I would be going no contact with these people though after that. You don’t have want people like this anywhere near your children.

I think your DH made a fair comment. Your Aunt and Cousin are misogynistic twits who tried to put down your DH for being a good father. I wouldn't even be bothered about a fall out if they were my family. I'd rather not have my DC raised around such views.
I'm sure you'll have plenty of comments from people insecure about their own weight who feel he was awful, but if your family want to try and 'emasculate' him (I hate that term, but basically they're acting like he is less of a man for parenting) they should be ready to be put down for their faults. I might have took it even further if someone acted that way towards my DH and asked if they're into old fashioned gender roles, do they think it's a woman's job to take care of her looks and ensure she is not overweight. Eye for an eye and all that.
I'm absolutely baffled as to why they even acted that way. Surely they want their family member to be supported by her DH rather than her being left to do everything? Very, very odd.

He went too far

Are all personal remarks fair game, then? Is he “allowed” to come after her for other physical characteristics, or is fat the only permissible one? Would “mind your own dried-up cunt and saggy tits, you prune-faced old hag” have been all right?

Well done your husband, bet that shut them up........

She sounds insufferable and it's no wonder he snapped, but he's a grown adult and should have controlled himself. He sounds like a great dad/partner overall, but this wasn't an acceptable way to deal with the situation.

Jesus men can't won cant they.

Say nothing and they are weak and pathetic, stand up for their wofe/partner and they are rude and people should have sympathy for the op.

@ForFancyNavyLion your dh owes her an apology for bringing her weight into it, but she asked for it so it wouldn't be a hill I would die on.

I love that your dh is ao actively involved and clearly very happy to stand up for his family unit. Good on that man!

What I don't understand is why you didn't step in before this and tell the nosy old biddy to mind her own business.

I am more sympathetic to your DH than to the awful relatives but I do think he could have handled it better. IMO he would have been perfectly within his rights to snap at her and tell her to back off without losing the moral high ground by making a personal comment.

Your husband’s absolutely in the right. Yes her weight is irrelevant but when they go low sometimes it’s fine to go even lower.

I will never understand women criticising men for being involved parents.

Yes that would be fine. She gave it so she can take it back.

It's a poorly handled situation all round. I probably wouldn't apologise unless they also extended an apology about the sexism. I think they were more at fault than him for launching the tirade at him in the first place, but then you were in their home and you have to be polite as a visitor, and it was a very personal and unnecessary comment too. But all are guilty really.

Agree!

I’m probs in the minority here, but I’m team husband.

If you don’t want somebody to be rude to you then don’t be rude first. Only give what you can take back.

Only if the aunt and her daughter apologise. It was childish tir for tat. But apologising without them also apologising would legitimise their awful behaviour.

I don't think your dh has anything to apologise for. At least not until he gets an apology first.

My dh didn't get anything like that level of paternity leave so he ended up being a sahp as I was the higher earner. That is as 20+ years ago and he never got any negative comments.

The biggest thing I can't understand here though is why after 4 years of it YOU didn't put your aunt firmly in her place well before now. I would absolutely have stood up for my DH if I had ever heard any of my family giving him grief.