Can't be bothered sharing a bed at hen do

I wouldn’t go to the hen do , just see them at the wedding and be friendly .
I was invited to a do at the last minute, didn’t think anything of it , paid my share then found out the next day that I’d been invited to make the numbers up cos so many had dropped out and the “birthday girl “ would have had to cover the cost of the air b&b . I wasn’t wanted in particular just to cut the cost for the others . I’ve not been in touch with any of them since and they’ve never contacted me either so no loss .
must admit it still rankles though .

Why are you even considering going to the wedding, do you really enjoy wedding cake or something.

remember the MumsNet expression ' It's an invitation not a summons '

Personally I can't understand why you are still in touch with these school friends - ' I see now once or twice a year, they've made no effort to travel to me, ever and we barely speak. '

How many years is it since you left school ?

You are allowed to go to the wedding and not the hen you know! Given what you've said, I'd do that. Otherwise, is there anyone you are closer to that might also stay in a hotel with you? Even if not in the same room, just so you aren't the only one?

At least you know now you'd be sharing a bed. Years ago I went to a hens and it wasn't till we stumbled into the hotel room late that I realised they'd overbooked and expected 3 of us to share each double bed! I slept on the floor and it was awful!

It's absolutely fine not to go to the hen do but go to the wedding, just make up an excuse for the hen do.

I also don't want to share rooms these days even with good friends, I want to be able to snort/fart/snore freely!

I go away fairly often with 2 friends to spas. Thankfully rooms are usually for 2 people so I offer to pay extra for the room on my own and we're all happy.

Don’t go. Hen dos are shit. I always just declined them.

If you do want to go tell them you get terrible diarrhoea in your sleep so you’ll save them the unpleasantness by staying in a hotel.

Honestly, it doesn’t matter if they talk. Who cares. They’ll be talking about you because they will be tired from sleeping badly 😂

I would not go. Find an excuse. But feel free to go to the wedding.

Just tell everyone you snore really loudly or suffer from extreme night terrors esp if you're in a strange location and see who wants to share with you then?! 😁😁
They'll be glad you've booked a separate hotel!

Me too.

Absolutely any trips, friends or family, i say I'm happy to book my own room I do not share. No drama.

Just do that if you want to go.

I would invent an excuse (family birthday or something) and just go to the wedding instead. If you are worried about them talking about you if you aren't there, they are most likely already talking about you anyway. Don't make yourself miserable and spend lots of money in the process. Spend that money on something nice for yourself.

(Edit for typos).

I’d not share a room with anyone let alone a bed. The only people I share a bed with currently are my rescue cats if they aren’t settling in their own sleeping quarters.

I’ve not been on a hen do ever so can’t help with that but I’d just politely decline … sorry I’m already busy that weekend, looking forward to your big day though. That sort of thing.

I’d also, and this is me being paranoid I expect, book an actual thing I am doing that weekend and if you are in contact on SmM post a photo of the said thing. ages ago now I got a last minute invite to a shared milestone birthday of all things. One person turning 40 one turning 50. No way I’d cope with going to a party and I don’t even know one of the people. So I declined. That flakey friend has always been difficult ever since as I should have kept that weekend free but the worst bit was I was telling the truth as myself and my family had booked tickets for an animal event months before (think feeding animals at a zoo). If I had been on SM at the time I’d have posted photos as evidence.

I’ve also had to drop a lot of old friends never ever come to me i always have to go to them.

This. ^

@Herecomethegirls1 I would feign illness. Pretend you have booked a Travelodge room (for health reasons that you'd rather not go into,) then contact them a day or two before and say you have tonsillitis or something.

Just say you can't go and don't elaborate, it can cause pointless discussion.

Save yourself the money, the lack of friendship with so called friends and embarrassment of sharing a bed with someone you don’t like !

I shared with old school friends for mine, but I actually like my friends. I wouldn't share with someone I didn't know very well.

Yes I'd say that for medical reasons you need your own bathroom so will book a room for yourself. Annoying people are easier to cope with when you can go back to your own space at the end of the day.

Wouldn’t bother me sharing a room. But I wouldn’t share a bed. No way! You wouldn’t be the only one reluctant to do so.

I think I would want to do the same. Happy to go to hen do and to travel - but I’m not comfortable sharing a room with someone I’m not ultra close to, let alone a bed. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want to share a bed with someone unless it’s your husband, maybe your daughter, sister, very best friend but even then I’d rather be in twin beds.

I don’t really understand why you’re going to any of this. You aren’t close friends, you don’t really want to and it’s in no way obligatory.

No I wouldn’t share my room or my bed with acquaintances as this point in my life. But I also have super limited free time and really limited extra money and neither of these things are what I’d spend either on. What’s the point?

If you don't want to go, don't go. It doesn't have to be a big drama.

Then the money you would’ve spent going to this use for yourself and a friend or your partner to have a night away or a spa day!
It seems you’re being asked out of politeness and don’t feel you’ll be missed so don’t go x
Like you, too old for all this at this stage - if I’m spending money on a night out I need my own bed and to be with people who actually want me there x

i think you need to just grow a pair here. I wouldn’t share a bed but they don’t sound like great mates anyway. Either just say you can’t go as you’re busy or if you do want to go just say you won’t share as you snore so will join in bit book a hotel. It’s not that complex, you’re really overthinking it

I wouldn't bother with one that involved this. I'd just go to the night out and go home after, or if it's too far away, with people I'm not close to anyway, politely decline.
I'd prefer to spend time and money with family or very close friends, if others have more time and money, and want to go on hen holidays, that's up to them.

It’s a hard no from me. I’m also (at 42) too old for that shit. I’m going away for the weekend next year with a good friend and we’ll share a room but not a bed. Truth be told I’d much rather have my own room but that would cost us both much more and I don’t want to put that on her so I’ll manage for 3 nights.