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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I the asshole?

109 replies

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 17:53

I’m on holiday in a European country.

Stopped at a tourist site that’s free to enter, and open air (so not a museum etc.).
The site contains a number of items of interest- let’s say they’re sculptures.

Lots of tourists wandering around, going from sculpture to sculpture, taking photos etc.

I got to a particular sculpture which is quite large and round and there weren’t many people at it. I was looking at it for a few second. Spotted a man at the other side of the sculpture waving at me. I cocked my head towards him to see what he wanted and he gestured to show that he wanted to take a photo but wanted me to move out of the way (literally flapped his wrist in a “shoo” motion and pointed to where I should stand instead) so I wouldn’t be in the way. I said it’s fine, I don’t mind if I’m in the background, and he said he wanted me to move because he just wanted a photo of the sculpture without anyone in it.

I laughed and stayed where I was until I was ready to move away and see the next sculpture.

He got very irate when I wouldn’t move, and started gesturing in quite an animated way for me to move out of his frame.

Interestingly, just as I was leaving, another man came along and the first man didn’t ask him to move at all.

Was IBU? Because I think that, if you’re a tourist amongst tourists at a busy sightseeing spot, you don’t get to dictate where people can and cannot stand.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 21/09/2026 12:28

Foolish1984 · 21/09/2026 11:52

Common decency has been all but obliterated. Would it really be that hard to move away for a matter of seconds? Then again, he could’ve had the decency to ask politely. In either case, common decency & politeness towards others is becoming a thing of the past

If the man had 'common decency' he wouldn't have shooed her.

lavendersweetly · 21/09/2026 12:34

Could you have moved immediately? Yes.
Should you have had to? Fuck no.
Are you an asshole for that? Absolutely not.

You have as much of a right to be standing somewhere or looking at something at your leisure just as much as anyone else does.
I understand wanting to get a photo of something, but that doesn't mean that you're therefore allowed to order people to move at the drop of a hat.
For most normal people, if they're trying to get a photo of a monument or sculpture, they would simply wait until most people had moved out of the frame rather than shooing people away.

IMO, you did the right thing, OP. I'd have stayed firmly where I was until I was prepared to move in my own time and not a moment sooner 😂

LobeliaCider · 21/09/2026 12:38

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 18:05

Would you consider someone waving their wrist/hand at you (very much in a “shoo” motion) to be asking, though?

Probably should have made it clearer in my opening post but he wasn’t being nice about it- he was literally shooing me away. If he’d smiled/asked, I’d have moved. I travel a lot and usually try to live and let live, but the way he was motioning me to get a it of his shot really annoyed me.

And I was probably at the sculpture for max 10 seconds before I saw he was gesturing.

Show quote history

I wouldn't have moved for him either. In fact, I would have taken my phone out and told him to move.

KiddyMcKiddly · 21/09/2026 13:09

C152 · 19/09/2026 18:38

This reminds me of the queues of people waiting to get a photo at the top of Snowdon. I think we're generally too obsessed with taking photos now. It's more important to actually be in the moment than take a photo of the moment. You were enjoying seeing the object. Why couldn't he wait until you'd finished viewing it to take his all important photo?

Agreed! I actually didn't get to the top of Snowdon, but I got to the back of the queue for taking a photo at the top of Snowdon, and I couldn't be bothered to stand in it, so I began my descent after enjoying the view from not-quite-the-top for a while.

CraftySeal · 21/09/2026 13:41

Absolute YANBU.

I honestly wish that it was forbidden to take photos in all museums and galleries, it would make the whole experience so much more enjoyable. It sets my teeth on edge that so many people are more concerned with getting photos than actually being in the moment and enjoying the in-person experience. There are already professional photos online of practically everything in every art gallery or museum if you want to refer back to it, why do you need one on your own camera phone.

FudgeFudy · 21/09/2026 14:01

lavendersweetly · 21/09/2026 12:34

Could you have moved immediately? Yes.
Should you have had to? Fuck no.
Are you an asshole for that? Absolutely not.

You have as much of a right to be standing somewhere or looking at something at your leisure just as much as anyone else does.
I understand wanting to get a photo of something, but that doesn't mean that you're therefore allowed to order people to move at the drop of a hat.
For most normal people, if they're trying to get a photo of a monument or sculpture, they would simply wait until most people had moved out of the frame rather than shooing people away.

IMO, you did the right thing, OP. I'd have stayed firmly where I was until I was prepared to move in my own time and not a moment sooner 😂

All of this. I'm honestly amazed at how many people are saying that you should have moved at the request of somebody (a man no less), who was being a bit of a dick about it. A classic case of 'The OP is always wrong'. If 'it would cost the OP nothing to move for ten seconds' then it would equally cost nothing for the impatient tosser to wait.

WutheringTights · 21/09/2026 14:07

I wouldn’t have moved. The art is there to be looked at using your eyes, which are a million times better than an iPhone camera. If they want a photo with no one else in it then there will be better ones available online. Otherwise you get to the ridiculous position like at the Mona Lisa where no one can actually see the art because ether are so many people taking (crap) photos of it. Look, move on, download a picture from Wikipedia.

lavendersweetly · 21/09/2026 18:12

FudgeFudy · 21/09/2026 14:01

All of this. I'm honestly amazed at how many people are saying that you should have moved at the request of somebody (a man no less), who was being a bit of a dick about it. A classic case of 'The OP is always wrong'. If 'it would cost the OP nothing to move for ten seconds' then it would equally cost nothing for the impatient tosser to wait.

Show quote history

100%

Someone else's preoccupation with taking a fucking photo of every single thing they see isn't my problem. I wouldn't be moving an inch😅

Cosimarocks · 22/09/2026 11:12

Would it have been a nice gesture to move out of the way for a moment, if asked nicely? Yes.

Was it reasonable that you didn’t when someone started rudely flapping their arms at you?
Also, yes.

He was rude and you did the right thing.

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