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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I the asshole?

109 replies

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 17:53

I’m on holiday in a European country.

Stopped at a tourist site that’s free to enter, and open air (so not a museum etc.).
The site contains a number of items of interest- let’s say they’re sculptures.

Lots of tourists wandering around, going from sculpture to sculpture, taking photos etc.

I got to a particular sculpture which is quite large and round and there weren’t many people at it. I was looking at it for a few second. Spotted a man at the other side of the sculpture waving at me. I cocked my head towards him to see what he wanted and he gestured to show that he wanted to take a photo but wanted me to move out of the way (literally flapped his wrist in a “shoo” motion and pointed to where I should stand instead) so I wouldn’t be in the way. I said it’s fine, I don’t mind if I’m in the background, and he said he wanted me to move because he just wanted a photo of the sculpture without anyone in it.

I laughed and stayed where I was until I was ready to move away and see the next sculpture.

He got very irate when I wouldn’t move, and started gesturing in quite an animated way for me to move out of his frame.

Interestingly, just as I was leaving, another man came along and the first man didn’t ask him to move at all.

Was IBU? Because I think that, if you’re a tourist amongst tourists at a busy sightseeing spot, you don’t get to dictate where people can and cannot stand.

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/09/2026 19:12

I think you were both assholes.

I'd have moved, it only takes a few seconds to let him get a few shots, yet you're now spending time on this non-event by doing a MN post.

JaneFoe · 19/09/2026 19:13

TeenLifeMum · 19/09/2026 19:06

In London people take photos on Westminster bridge and I move out of their way 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does all the traffic stop for them too?

If you live in London, how much time are you really spending blocking the view to Westminster Bridge.

SouthLondonMum22 · 19/09/2026 19:14

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:11

Again, they may not have spoken the same language

Shooing someone away is rude in all languages.

Other options are available, especially without an attempt to ask if OP speaks English/French/whatever. Not to mention also with a phone right there in his hand.

He was rude.

CherryViper · 19/09/2026 19:15

Nta

Had they asked politely, I might have stepped aside for a moment. Shooing wouldn't work on me. He was very rude and can be as irate as he liked.

GingerCatLove · 19/09/2026 19:16

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 18:44

Nope. I’ve seen them in California and they’re amazing. Don’t think we have any in Europe?

We have about half a million in the UK @BadLayout with the tallest I believe living at Kew.
Reference the moving when being shooed - you were not wrong as you have no idea how long they will be.
I have frequently moved for people to take a photo and then waited as they took ages.

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:16

fumingrightnow1 · 19/09/2026 18:58

Sounds like he was about to take a photo and you walked into shot. Shooing is rude In england and I would expect someone to ask nicely but you wasn't in england so you potentially have a language barrier and a different set of acceptable and unacceptable gestures. I would of moved

A bit outing in terms of my current destination, but here’s the snap I took. The man is directly opposite. (Photo will take a few mins to appear)

If he was unable to take a photo without anyone directly in it from his perspective, he needed to move. Like I said, lots of tourists around, and I managed to get a shot without anyone in it.

Was I the asshole?
OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 19/09/2026 19:19

I would move out of the way for people taking photos.

I think it's an age thing in many ways. I remember buying a 24 exposure film for a weeks holiday and that was it, 24 photos, unless you bought another film.

Nowadays photos are free and we can take 24 photos in an hour, so the etiquette around photos has become less.

Maybe the person didn't know what nationality you were, so a shooing gesture would work in any language.

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:20

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:16

A bit outing in terms of my current destination, but here’s the snap I took. The man is directly opposite. (Photo will take a few mins to appear)

If he was unable to take a photo without anyone directly in it from his perspective, he needed to move. Like I said, lots of tourists around, and I managed to get a shot without anyone in it.

do You know his nationality? If you’re in Iceland doing tourist stuff he could have been from anywhere, again, I’d have just have moved, no biggie.

ratatouillemousesqueak · 19/09/2026 19:22

I’d have just moved over for a few seconds to let him take the photo then moved back.

yes he may have been rude but I just couldn’t be bothered with the drama

BadLayout · 19/09/2026 19:23

Notsosweetcaroline · 19/09/2026 19:20

do You know his nationality? If you’re in Iceland doing tourist stuff he could have been from anywhere, again, I’d have just have moved, no biggie.

Not 100% sure of his nationality but guessing either Japanese or Taiwanese, based solely on appearances.

I’m not British but speak English, my native language, Italian, French, Spanish, German, and a little Russian. He was telling me to move in English.

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 19/09/2026 19:25

I would have moved had he asked politely.
Shooing me with his hand?
Nope. I stay put. Fuck that.

Bigbumbigtum · 19/09/2026 19:26

He could have just taken the photo and if you were visible in it, its easy enough to edit you out. I do that all the time with my holiday pics. Delete all the people from the beach etc 😃

cantthinkofagoodusername2026 · 19/09/2026 20:15

It completely depends on how he asked, and it sounds like he was very rude about it. I almost always move or wait when I see people taking photos, but if I was waved or shooed, I will take my sweet time.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 20/09/2026 12:58

There are ways of asking if you don't speak the same language. He was rude. I bet your bottom dollar he wouldn't have done that to a man.

pinkyredrose · 20/09/2026 14:59

ToadRage · 19/09/2026 18:25

I think it was quite rude of you to not move away so he could take a nice photo. It the place was crowded it may not have been a problem but you were the only one spoiling his picture and YATA.

Strange how he didn't shoo the man away then! Surely he would've ruined his 'nice photo' too.

pinkyredrose · 20/09/2026 15:09

TeenLifeMum · 19/09/2026 19:06

In London people take photos on Westminster bridge and I move out of their way 🤷🏻‍♀️

Presumably not after they've rudely shooed you away?

TeenLifeMum · 20/09/2026 15:24

pinkyredrose · 20/09/2026 15:09

Presumably not after they've rudely shooed you away?

They don’t need to because people have already courteously not photo bombed.

pinkyredrose · 20/09/2026 15:29

TeenLifeMum · 20/09/2026 15:24

They don’t need to because people have already courteously not photo bombed.

Photo bombed? I don't think Op was doing that.

crackerjackbaby · 20/09/2026 15:33

OP, why ask AIBU when every single POV that differs with yours, you take issue with. You obviously are quite proud of your little defiance, and want everyone else to agree.

RunningJo · 20/09/2026 15:45

If they asked politely, I’d have no issues. Wafting and ‘shooing’ me, probably not tbh.

gabsdot45 · 20/09/2026 15:47

This happened to me once. There was a long sign with the name of the town in large letters and it had a bench in front of it.
I was sitting on the bench to the side but still in front of the sign along with a few other people
A young guy can't along and asked us to ask to move so that he could be in a photo in front of the sign. He gestured his request.
None of us moved and he was very irritated.
I think he was being unreasonable and so was your guy OP

Yetone · 20/09/2026 15:48

Ponoka7 · 19/09/2026 17:57

Once upon a time we moved so people could take photos, it seems to be the norm that we don't do that anymore. If you could see from the point of being out if his photo, then, yes, you could have moved.

Well was that when people didn’t take photos all the time? Maybe when they had film in their camera that limited the amount of photos you could take.
I have always waited and never asked someone to move for a photo.

seahorsessky · 20/09/2026 15:52

He probably didn't want to upset a strange woman by taking a photo that she is in without her permission. If he just wanted you to move for a second, I'd just have done that.
Now, if he was setting up to do an influencer video, then you wouldn't be unreasonable.

SweatySpider321 · 20/09/2026 15:57

I would have done exactly the same as you in that situation. Why does his wish to take a picture take a priority over you looking at it? Sounds like classic male entitlement to me @BadLayout

Fairyliz · 20/09/2026 16:01

As usual it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. Even if the man spoke a different language he could have smiled, pointed to his camera and then the sculpture. The op would have understood what he meant and probably moved.

If you want someone to do something which benefits you better to be nice to them.

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