To start picking out outfits for the week on a Sunday?

Toss the partner and get your rail!

@wholikesliving . I think it is a fabulous idea. On foot of your post, I’m now considering it. Irrespective of any other reasons, it is just so organised and relieves one of another thing to have to think about of a morning. However, considering the fact it makes the daily grind a little easier for you, it is not very supportive of your OH. You can get those clothes rails which have a dust cover.

I can see his point. That will take up a lot of room. It would make the room feel cluttered and messy to me.
Do you not have somewhere else it could go? On the landing?
Is he thinking 'not another thing she'll stop doing after a fortnight "?

His mental health matters too. Some people really struggle with clutter and lack of space.
It would drive me potty adding that to our room.
The bedroom should be a relaxing space for both of them.

Having read your posts about your room and the space, could you put a rail in a different room? So they're there and sorted but not in view when you're both trying to relax for sleep?

I do it! And I have themes!

this week checks
last week green
week before denim
week before only a specific designer

it entertains me

this sounds like a great idea OP. I cannot imagine a situation where I wouldn’t help a partner suffering with MH due to a perception of “clutter”. I think on you could try one of these:

• buy the rail anyway (my preferred option)
• lay clothes out on a chair to demonstrate a “more cluttered” option till he’s begging you to use a rail
• suggest the rail has enough space for you both to use
• put the rail or a wardrobe in a different room
• clear/organise the cupboard to create more space to add a section to use for a week of outfits.
• measure to see if a child’s wardrobe for outfits might fit? so it’s shorter. Long garments like trousers can be folded over a hanger. Or something like this which is a 111cm tall: www.argos.co.uk/product/7271911

All excellent ideas. Or maybe a sideboard/short cupboard you adapt to be able to hang, with everything being halved over soft hangers, but hidden behind doors.

This is a fantastic idea IMO! You've inspired me to consider the same. I struggle with depression and also ADHD - getting out of bed, completing the morning routine etc are all difficult for me too.

I can't quite explain why, but pre-planning and separating my outfits on a separate rail, displayed visually, sounds much less overwhelming than scrambling around in a loaded wardrobe in the morning.

Plus, due to ADHD I suspect, I often forget that I even own many items of clothing and resort to the same few 'safe' items lol.

This idea would be so useful for sorting and reinvigorating the neglected clothes.
I already do the same morning prep-wise in laying out my work bag, coffee mug, supplements etc.

I don't think it looks cluttered or tacky. And who the hell else will be hanging out in your bedroom to judge aesthetics??

I get my tops and bottoms ready, and have them in a neat pile on a chair in my room. I leave my cardigans and jumpers in the wardrobe. I like having stuff ready, but I wouldn’t want a whole rail in my room. It seems excessive for 5 outfits. If they needed to be hung up, then a couple of hooks on the back of the bedroom door would do.

Her partner! Who isnt happy with her suggestion, hence we are trying to find alternatives.

If there’s room for the rail you linked then there’s room for a small wardrobe with a door, would he prefer that? Maybe if you try the rail and it helps then you could invest in a small wardrobe that would look better.

Also - I have SAD and just using the lumie alarm clock is not enough. You need to use the actual SAD lamps during the day as well. I have a visor that shines a light into my eyes. I wear for an hour or so every morning while doing the housework, laundry, making breakfast etc. Then a lamp at my desk that I also have on in the mornings.

I have a overdoor hook. You can hang your work outfit on the back of the door and it takes up no room at all. One hanger. You can also hang your underwear and jewellery on it too. No need for a separate clothing rail.

I can just imagine this the other way round

'My partner suffers from depression and wants a separate rail in the bedroom to prepare his clothes for work to help that, but I dont want the clutter and mess of a separate rail as I find that stressful'

The posts would be full of 'he's a twat, he's a dick, he's selfish, why isnt he sorting out his depression without impacting on your shared space, he needs to go back to the GP'

etc etc

We have the same sort of room, only a clothes rail would work, but they look ugly, so I put up a curtain rail with a lovely fabric which adds to the decor. Really easy to just slide the curtain back, get what you want and hide the rail again. My clothes for the next day go at the end of the rail

I think it's a good idea.

I have a clothes rail in the spare room and do the same thing.
I get awful decision fatigue, so anything that can help me streamline my week has to be a good idea. I even take the same packed lunch to work every day. Then I don't have to think about it.

I would be explaining my reasoning to him and asking him how he thinks this could be accommodated at this time. Generally it sounds like you need better storage solutions but we spent years in a muddle like this as wardrobes involved structural work being carried out which wasn't top of the priority list.

As a couple you need to work together , it's important that you explain your situation and why you think this would help and he needs to help to find a way for a solution to be found.

When my anxiety and overwhelm were at their worst, I found DH's discussions around "we need to do this, we need to do that" around things relating to the house (and generally) massively overwhelming. From his point of view he wasn't telling me I had to do all of those things, for him it was just a discussion and no big deal, I couldn't deal with it though. We compromised around him writing everything on a list that we ran through now and again when I felt able to and I tried to recognise that I was overreacting to the situation. You have to be able to understand each other and to be able to work together to find solutions.

This is such a strange assortment of responses. The OP is the expert in her own seasonal depression and if she thinks this will help then it probably would. It is irrelevant whether Sheila from MN would consider it 'clutter'.

A supportive partner should be willing to try something which you feel strongly will have a positive impact. Is he generally unsupportive? Dare I ask, is he part of the problem?

I don’t lay out my outfits for the full week but I do other things to make my mornings run smoothly so I totally get this. I pack my work bag, prepare my packed lunch, lay out my daughter’s clothes for the next day, make sure my work laptop and phone are charged, book my bus ticket online so I don’t have to do it in the morning, all that sort of thing and because my threshold for any sort of stress is low in the morning. It makes the early mornings seem so much more manageable for me. Your OH is being a knobhead. You don’t need his permission though. Put up a rail if that’s what you want. But do you need to put out the whole weeks clothes? Maybe just do them for the next day if space is an issue.

Rubbish. I imagine most people on here would be supportive of the OH and calling the OP unreasonable for getting worked up over a clothes rail, and rightly so…

I have a dress makers mannequin thing I put my next day outfit on and I love it! Accessories and all - I find it really helps me with a number of things including making the most of my clothes…

Well with that logic everyone’s opinions are irrelevant ,including yours.

Hello Sheila

but it IS relevant whether her partner, you know, the person who also lives there and presumably pays half the mortgage/rent, would consider it clutter, and he does. Perhaps having a clean and clear space is important to him and he feels strongly that it has a positive impact on him.

The way OP has refused to consider any of the reasonable suggestions on the thread and is making excuses as to why none of them are feasible - no packing cubes, no smaller rail that can be hidden behind a mirror, no space in the cupboard they currently use as a wardrobe, no folding the clothes they have to all be hanging, no just doing one day at a time, not even the smallest wardrobe would fit in their oddly proportioned room, or anywhere else in the house like the landing/bathroom/wherever....suggests they are both as stubborn as each other.

So in one way I agree with you - it is completely irrelevant whether any of us on MN agree with the partner or not - even if she'd got 100% YANBU MN judgement isn't legally binding. Which begs the question, if she's not open to considering any alternatives, what did OP hope to gain from starting the thread in the first place?

Depends what they said.

If it was 'OH is a shopaholic and very messy, whereas I'm a minimalist and like everything in it's place. Our house is quite small and crammed with all our stuff including DC and pets, and to be honest it really stresses me out most of the time, but at least our bedroom is my quiet haven and the only place I can switch off at night, because it is the only room in the house that is always tidy and clutter-free (or as much as I can make it despite OH always leaving her stuff lying around).

OH has now said she wants to add a random rail full of clothes in the room to hang up her clothes for the week ahead. I've suggested loads of alternatives, including putting a wardrobe in the corridor, or folding them in a chest of drawers, or a hanging rail over the back of the door, or a small one that can be hidden by a mirror, or her clearing out the cupboard we use as a wardrobe (which is 99% full of her clothes!) but she is insistent on this rail being the only thing that will work. AIBU to want to keep the one clutter free space in my house?'

Of course I've just completely made all that up and none of it might be relevant, but just as an illustration that we never know the full story, or even half of it, from one person's (biased) POV.