AIBU To pin child’s wrists to their side

????
Touching /laying hands on other people's children is subject to misunderstanding /misrepresentation.
Irrespective of the circumstances.

I have no problem shouting at/ disciplining other people's kids. I will hope another adult will stop my child from doing something stupid/anti social.

Society will sink if we continue to let kids go out of hand.

I agree you were restrained. I would have put my hand out to prevent him from coming close to me the second time it happened, not the fourth or fifth. No voice raising, no ‘punishing’ someone else’s child, just holding a boundary - “I do not want grass on me especially when I’m trying to eat. Stop doing that”

If the only way to stop him (putting a hand out wouldn’t stop him throwing, just stop him from getting closer) was to hold him then you did nothing wrong.

I did almost exactly the same thing at hotel in Lanzarote. 3,4 year old boy was tipping buckets of water over adults by the toddler pool. No parents or supervising adult in sight which is questionable by a pool and sad for the poor kid looking for someone to engage with. But I dont want feeezing water thrown on me.

He approached me, bucket raised, I said firmly ‘no thank you’ (yes he spoke English). He kept getting closer so I said it again and when he got right next to me and tipped the bucket I simply put my hand out to redirect the bucket away from me and the water poured on the floor. The boy understood immediately and went off to do it to someone else. The other adults around the pool seemed astonished that telling a child “no thank you” was even an option and many followed suit, calmly holding a boundary with an unsupervised child.

Good on you. I would not have been so nice, i would have said no the first time followed by i have already said no, now do not do that again in a strict voice with a hard stare attached. Third time yes i would have held his wrist then given his mother a bloody mouthful.

Is his mum a member of the "gentle hands" brigade?

Can you show us the law which states holding a child's wrists to stop them throwing things at other people is classed as physical restraint?

As I've already stated im not knowledgeable about law. But I'm am as capable of googling as I'm sure you are. So I've just done that.
I don't where OP lives but I've assumed England. Therefore this situation would apparently come under English Common Law and Section 3 of the Criminal Law Act 1967 which permits anyone to use such force as is reasonable in the circumstances to prevent a crime, protect someone else from attack, or defend themselves.

The parent was right there.

Since they banned smacking, I would have done exactly the same as the child - I would have picked up all the clumps and stuffed it down their shirt. Only more clumps, till he would not find it funny anymore. Like loads of clumps. Till he shouted 'muuuuum'. I then would have said - but I thought we were playing? No? Then I would have cut ties with this woman.

This is what happens in a world without hierarchy - it should not have occurred to the little miscreant to behave like that.

Sorry.

Thought we were conversing quite normally in plain English.

There is no specific qualification in law about children you are not related to.

You are not allowed to assault your own children or anyone else's.

The OP hasn't assaulted anyone.

I know what I would have liked to do to the little s-d!

I've not accused OP of assaulting anybody!

I actually said I understood why she did what she did, although I think personally she should have been complaining to the child's mother about the unacceptable behaviour and getting HER to stop it.

I don't understand why you are nit picking and trying to start an argument. You are perfectly entitled to have a different view point, just as I am entitled to mine.

The other parents are the problem not you. I would not keep company with them.

i agree with your husband that the parents passiveness in this situation was wrong.
But i dont think it right that you physically put your hand on a child that wasnt yours to restraint them.
You should have said to the parents please deal with your childs behaviour here or ill have to leave.

Children that are parented like this are a nightmare at school...

You say 'technically' as if you have some expertise in this area of law. As if you were a police officer, or a lawyer or a social worker.

And then it turns out you have no idea what you're talking about; you're just a random person on the Internet with an opinion. Don't try and give authority to that opinion by wording it as if you have expert knowledge

I’d personally never touch someone else’s child unless they were in danger or it was something like a consenting hug.

I don’t think you were wrong to try and put a stop to it though, his mum sounds unbearable. I’d have directly said to her “can you stop him throwing grass on me please it’s very annoying.”

She needs to actually parent her child instead of being so wet. YANBU

I'm amazed that you equate someone using the word " technically" to them trying to pass themselves off as a police officer or lawyer or Social worker! I think thats actually really amusing!

I do have some idea of whatiI'm talking about. I'm sure most rational people know that individuals are not supposed to go around manhandling or touching others, especially children. And that people are protected in law from others doing this to them. And there has been plenty of coverage of the unlawful use of restraint , generally in care institutions.

Do you really think it is ok to go around restraining other people's children?

Btw I'm having difficulty typing this because I'm laughing so much at being accused of impersonating a police officer.

"as someone who is not totally familiar with what the law actually is on restraining children, or even touching children that are unrelated to me"

This is the basis on which you're giving your very helpful 'technical' advice. Well may you laugh...

Some people are suggesting that, rather than dealing with the situation as she did, OP should have left the picnic if the mother wasn't willing to control her child. What sort of a message would that give him? That he has power to drive an adult away by his behaviour? How ridiculous.

Those people wouldn't have been impressed by my husband. A friend came for lunch at our holiday home with his eight year old grandson. My husband had played football with him earlier and he'd had lots of attention. We sat down to eat and he started kicking my husband's chair. He was asked and then told firmly to stop. He didn't and started kicking my husband's leg. My husband said "You do that one more time and I will throw you in the pool".. he kicked him on the leg again. He was thrown in the pool. He stopped kicking after that.

I have no idea why you and some other posters are ganging up to tear my opinion to pieces. Absolutely weird. I had no idea that using the word technically would spark such outrage ! Next time someone starts one of those threads where people say what words or expressions most annoy them on MN you will need to vent some spleen on pp who use the word " technically"!

Btw I didn't give any one "technical advice". I used the word technically as a figure of speech.

I would have stepped in much quicker but if anyone put there hands on my child I would have gone mental.

Something very similar happened in the library near me (although it was a dad that lifted the child down from the bench rather than a mum, and the child did cry) and you wouldn't believe the hooha, an unrelated parent who saw it was freaking out but the actual mum was completely oblivious. The staff were talking statements and getting managers through.
My comment was that he was very foolish to touch someone else's child full still but I don't think it was worth the big furore.
In your case with the parent there and known to you, you're on safer ground, but still, don't do it.

Hopefully you parent in a more active way and don’t let your child run wild though….