AIBU to refuse son a sleepover at a girl's house?

14/15 yrs old … can you not remember being that age ?!
let him have some fun !

Nah, not worth the risk. You’d kick yourself if something happened!

I consider myself an extremely laid back parent, but not a chance I'd agree to a mixed sex sleepover at that age!

Of course not

but this isn’t your battle to fight

I guess if they are genuinely friends and separate rooms could be sorted is allow but only with reassurances from girls parent.

I have a DC and DS. DS is only friends with girls.

A group of them sleeping over, can’t see the harm in it.

If your worry is that they will have sex, they don’t need a sleepover to do that.

I guess its all down to trust and how well ou know the parents of the girl involved. Probably a bit soon for that kind of get together.

Risk? A bit extreme. I doubt they will be having an orgy.

What exactly is the issue? I had plenty of sleepovers at friends of the opposite sexes house at that age, noone got up to anything dodgy, because we were friends.

Had we actually wanted to get up to anything, there were plenty of other opportunities.

I think it really depends on the kids. I voted YANBU because if you get a bad vibe about it that’s fine. Having said that we did mixed sex camping at that age and couldn’t have been better behaved. One of the boys’ parents wouldn’t let him come to it as they feared our intentions but none of us would have dreamed of getting up to anything! But we were good kids (at that age anyway!!).

All it takes is one child to say ‘they touched me’ or ‘ they said something I felt uncomfortable with’ and then there’s a huge mess. That age group are horny as hell, well I know what me and my friend were like at that age, a lot worse than the boys!

If it's a group of them I think this is fine.

I can't see an issue with a group sleepover.

This!

We're obvs out of the ordinary (or maybe not so much as the sleepovers are reciprocated 🤷)
We quite often have mixed sleepovers here of 7-8 kids. More the merrier 😅 all bundled up in the front room.
One boy + one girl I'd probs not be so accommodating!

If they are platonic friends and you don't know whether the girl's parents actually know/ will be home then insist on speaking to a parent (ideally drop him off if that's not utterly contrived logistically - my 15 year old still needs lifts sometimes due to rural location so it's less weird than in a town or city with good public transport).

I wouldn't let a 15 year old stay overnight with a girlfriend/ boyfriend, but I would with a platonic opposite sex friend. My DS has a mainly male friendship group but the only two girls are a couple! I'd let the girl he's really close friends with stay here, but not in the same room just to cover everyone's back. I wouldn't let his girlfriend stay at 15 (unless in some kind of genuine emergency) because of potential sneaking about... As it happens his female friend isn't even allowed to go to boys' houses for cultural reasons, so it's hypocritical admittedly.

I wouldn't say it's an automatic no if they are long term friends, aren't a couple, nor interested in being, and you've spoken to her parents and know they will be home.

It’s wild that this is even up for discussion! Kids don’t need to experience everything upfront. Why actively put them in an environment where they can act on raging hormones???

Absolutely not, someone will suggest a silly game, spin the bottle etc, accusations will be made, heaps of trouble. yanbu.

My Sis was pregnant at 16, so I lived through the mess that comes with this. So absolutely no way would my DC be going to a mixed sleepover at 14 / 15.

No need they can go home and sleep in their own beds.

This is exactly why I wouldn't let him go 😅

No sleepovers that can result in pregnancy, even if the participants claim to have no interest.

Could he go, say until midnight and then you collect him. My youngest ds had a very mixed group of friends. We did allow them sleepovers and there was never an issue. They just watched movies and did karaoke and had massive fun. We were always in the house. This year ds, now grown was at two of the girls weddings and they all have remained great friends.
My dd would have boys over but they always went home late and didn't stay. Each group had their own dynamic.
Definitely can't see the harm in him staying at his Mums and hanging out all evening. There is nothing as bad as being left out at that age.

But you can't be behind them all the time can you

Have you raised him right? Does he have respect for others? Does he have a record of breaking your rules? Because assuming that he's a decent kid, yabu. If he's the kind that drinking alcohol on street corners until the early hours, then you have bigger issues here. Let him enjoy a party.
Talk to about what being "safe" means. This is when he needs to learn those lessons, in a controlled environment. Otherwise he will go to uni, in a couple of years, without that experience to stand him in good stead.

I wouldn't be comfortable with it even though DD mainly has male friends who I know well. I'd offer a compromise which is a late pick up (11.30pm / midnight) so they can have the sleepover / watch a film etc without the sleep bit. Parents will still be awake and around and presumably have rules around open doors etc. so less chance of sneaking around.
Male friends are here now hanging out and they're messing around watching films and building Lego. Doors are all open, I'm in and out / around and it's much more comfortable.