AIBU to feel uneasy about my nearly 17-year-old dating a 15-year-old?

There are many teenagers under the age of 16 who are sexually active with other teenagers a little older than them . There are teenagers on the pill using condoms/protection. Because young people under 16 can be sexually active . And professionals know this. They don't encourage sex but they except it happens. Which is why there is confidential support for teenagers who are sexually.

The only way there could be any charges is if the person didn't consent then it could be rape charge which is the same for an adult.

Think how many young teenagers would be in prison if it was so black and white.

Maybe she’s more comfortable with a younger boy in terms of sex etc, less expectations? When I was 16, I went out with a 19-year-old and believe me there are a lot of expectations!

This wouldn't bother me, if anything, him being a bit younger would make me less likely to worry about her being pressured imto anything. But that's just me.

Yes this is a gen z trend that fills me with hope, when I think of the predatory older (20s) men hanging around the periphery of my teen friendship group. However one school year is fine. A non issue!

youre over thinking it. She’s 16, he’s 15

Based on a past experience, teenage “dating” age gaps need to be at least 2 yrs before any official investigation would be merited and not even then depending on circumstances.

So she did those things aged 16, which he will be soon?

Yes I imagine this plays a part

Wow that's such a big age gap 😂 😂

Keep your nose out OP.

Statutory rape is not a term used in the UK - I'm assuming the OP is in the UK - so is not something the OP's daughter would be guilty of.

The boy is almost 16, which is the age of consent, a young person of 16/17 wouldn't be prosecuted for having sex with another young person of 15/16 in the UK.

That kind of age gap would definitely be seen as unacceptable.

This.

Girls don't mature faster than boys. Society just perpetuates the myth to hold girls accountable whilst excusing boys.

It is misogyny.

It only appears that girls mature faster because they ae held to higher standard of behaviour and oeople spend far less time making excuses for them.

My daughter started dating her bf when she was 17 turning 18 and he was 16 turning 17. At one point he was 16 and she was 18. She was quite embarrassed herself for a time in terms of what others thought about it as he was year 12 and she was year 13 and there are aspects of him where the difference in maturity shows up. He is quite a mature boy for his age in many other ways however - highly articulate, kind , thoughtful, respectful. She can be quite immature in some ways as she is AuADHD so probably behind peers in some ways. They have both helped / benefited each other over the last 10 months they have been together. At 16 however the sex part wasn’t a worry for me I guess but still needed to ensure my daughter was taking the right precautions and was approachable so she could discuss any concerns without embarrassment. I also communicated with his Mum ( who is lovely) and ensured she was ok with things.

The issues now are she is on a gap year with a uni place for next year and seems sorted eith travel plans and a job. He is now in final year of A levels and applications with all the pressure that brings. They still seem pretty smitten. I guess only time will tell how long it will last. At 15/17 probably less likely to be longer term but who knows! Try not to judge or worry too much and let it play its course. Young people learn a lot about themselves in relationship to others. It’s not a bad thing - just stay close by and be there if/ when she needs you for a chat and be ready to just listen.

Sounds perfectly fine to me

When I was 17 I was dating a 25 year old so things could be worse 🤣

Seriously though, I think it’s fine they aren’t that too far apart in age. Some sixth forms are attached to secondary aren’t they? So just one year apart from each other in the same school

Have you discussed contraception with her?

This. She will have to keep it under her hat until he leaves school.

I don’t think an 18mths gap is weird. It’s a very difficult age, I agree it does feel a bit icky when you first read it but you have to ask yourself why and that actually boils down to the possible sexual element for me. I also am very judgemental about older males with younger females and I still think I would be cautious but not massively suspicious even if the sexes were reversed here. My opinion is, ensure you keep talking to her about the legal age of consent (even if he pressures her) but I think you know your daughter best and if she is a little immature then I think it will be okay. I suspect the worst thing that will happen is that one of them gets their first heartache that we’ve all been through.

Try not to worry too much.

I’m glad you wrote this. I was nervous to but I agree it is very unlikely that this would be something that the CPS decided to prosecute.

I agree. It wouldn't be in the public interest to prosecute in this case.

There no issue here imo.

I think it might be because she's at college & he's at school.

Possibly unusual for a girl of her age to date a younger boy.

It's still illegal to have sex with a 15-year old, whether it's referred to as statutory rape or not. So my point remains that it's wise to advise against it.

Right, but nothing will actually happen to two consenting U18's who choose to have sex, especially not when the age gap is barely over a year.