AIBU to feel annoyed by parents prying about my daughter’s school?

55 replies

StopAsking · 17/09/2026 23:22

My daughter left her prep school in year 6 to go to a state school as she was bullied by some girls in the year group and school did nothing. My son is still there and on school events when I start chatting to parents and they naturally ask how many kids I have conversation goes to why did you take your daughter out. Most people sense to stop prying so much but I’m a little pissed off at the most recent one - earlier this week we had a curriculum meeting for my youngest where 2 year groups met up and this really nosey couple who I have never spoken to kept asking me which school my daughter goes to now and why I took my daughter out. I just gave a vague answer but she kept pushing. I’m a very polite person and don’t like confrontations but I keep going over the conversation and I’m really annoyed I didn’t just make an excuse and walk away. It was obvious I didn’t want to get into it but she kept asking. She had this really weird way about her - I gave a short answer and she looked at me in a way to say “continue” if that makes sense? I can’t explain it but it was like “and why…” This bloody stranger wanted to know which school my child is going to, why I made that choice etc. I kept changing the subject and she kept bringing it back.

I don’t want to discuss it so what is a good sentence I could use with people? I’m still hurting over how badly she was bullied and I wish I could just take my son out so I don’t have to see these people. I’m going to wait till he’s year 6 so I can take him out too.

OP posts:

PoloThePolarBear · 18/09/2026 08:38

I wouldn’t necessarily see it as prying, it is a natural topic of conversation, and there’s sensible reasons they might like to know beyond nosiness (eg considering a move themselves, unhappy with the school, having financial issues and wondering about alternatives etc).

Obviously people should back off if you’re signalling that you don’t want to answer, but it can be hard to read that signal.

So I’d practice some generic meaningless things you can say:
Well, you have to pick the right school for each child.
Oh yes, she’s very happy, suits her well.
Yes my daughter moved in year 6, the transition went well.

And if they’re asking for more detail you can pretty much repeat what you said, so;
You: “Well, you have to pick the right school for each child”
Them: “But why wasn’t this school right for your daughter?”
You: “X school suits her better, you have to choose for each individual child”
Them: “But didn’t she like it here?”
You: “She was happy with the move, X school is the right choice for her”.

So you’re not actually giving more information, but also not being seen as rude!

Thinkofnewthings · 18/09/2026 08:40

I’d just say that it wasn’t the right fit.

PoloThePolarBear · 18/09/2026 08:40

DozyCrow · 18/09/2026 07:43

I would say something like "I know you're just making conversation, but I'm a very private person and don't discuss my children or my personal life", then either quickly steer to a neutral subject or just smile and let the silence hang.

That seems like a good way to stop all the parents from trying to make conversation with you ever again, because it’s incredibly weird. Even if you don’t want to be friends with the other parents cutting them off entirely is not fair to the younger son as it will affect him being invited to things.

Hummingbird233 · 18/09/2026 08:41

Yes, I wonder if she’s privately questionning if she should move her child/made the right decision with the private school and is trying to use your experience to shape her view on it.

”let’s change the subject, how are you finding…”

Whilst she’s likely exploring it without meaning to be rude, there’s no reason why you should feel made to disclose personal information and YANBU to explicitly say you don’t want to talk about it.

Ineedanewsofa · 18/09/2026 08:41

Agree with PPs saying keep answers vague, light and fluffy. Also ask a question as soon as you can and let the other person start chatting, most folks love talking about themselves!
I love it when people ask what I do, I have a fairly abstract sounding job title so no one asks any follow up questions 😂

Flip

1 2 3