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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book a solo weekend away without my partner?

159 replies

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:25

My partner is absolutely enraged by the idea I might go away without him. We don’t live together and finances are totally separate.

My mum is a planner and likes to know what we would like for Christmas early. I have always wanted to go to London to the biggest bookshops in Europe. Sad, I know, but I love books. I can’t justify a splurge on them though, so I’ve asked her for vouchers. She still gives pretty decent gifts. My plan is to go for a weekend (£100 hotel and £70 train fare)

My partner is enraged. He thinks I should a) ask for money for both of us to take a holiday together and b) go away with him only.

AIBU to do it anyway?

OP posts:
Keyleads · 16/09/2026 12:26

Enraged?
WTF?

Dump this nasty controlling loser.

OsfameronTanamoril · 16/09/2026 12:26

I would ltb. I can't bear possessive men. I do at least 1 solp trip a year and many solo weekends.

PinkyFlamingo · 16/09/2026 12:26

Seriously you have to ask?

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 16/09/2026 12:27

I’m about to go away for two weeks on holiday without DH. DH is 100% supportive (actually his suggestion).

Your partner sounds like controlling. Get rid. You deserve better

Gobbledegoo · 16/09/2026 12:29

You are not bound together physically or legally. Go on your own and really enjoy yourself. If he kicks off in any way at all dump him. Even if you were married you are still your own person.

Lots of red flags - He is past his sell by date. Bye bye.

SilverPink · 16/09/2026 12:29

Jesus Christ red flags 🚩 all over this one. How controlling is he?! Please dump this arsehole. He will never change.

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:30

Come on OP, how could it be reasonable for you only to go away if you take your boyfriend with you? What century do you live in?

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Original poster
ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

My town doesn’t have a book shop, and even our closest city is pretty rubbish. I want to go and properly explore, and £170 is totally feasible for me

OP posts:
Original poster
ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:30

Come on OP, how could it be reasonable for you only to go away if you take your boyfriend with you? What century do you live in?

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

OP posts:
anonymous24601 · 16/09/2026 12:35

Yes you must absolutely do it!! (and also dump him when you're ready obvs.) Have a lovely time, I want to do this myself now. What bookshops are on your list? (Foyles presumably, anything else?) I always used to enjoy The Atlantis Bookshop and Watkins, but I'm a bit of an old hippy. You could have a brilliant weekend!

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:37

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

He's bonkers. You are not his mum. If he wants to travel he should save up the money. Enjoy your trip, it sounds amazing.

nietzscheanvibe · 16/09/2026 12:38

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

🤣

Ifeelold48 · 16/09/2026 12:38

Not only is he controling he's grabby as well. Id throw this one back @ijustwanttiread. I wouldnt allow my husband to tell me what to do and be enraged about my choices let alone a BF.

TruffleSlinky · 16/09/2026 12:39

He is being selfish and unreasonable.

AnnieDoodling · 16/09/2026 12:39

Have a wonderful time in London! And whilst you are away, if not before, please rethink this relationship.

Morecoffeeneedef · 16/09/2026 12:39

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

Not the same as browsing the shelves alongside fellow book lovers, and chatting to well informed staff....

GoodkneeBadKnee · 16/09/2026 12:40

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

Well, that's not your fault, is it? Keep your finances separate and don't move in with him.

Campanulaceae · 16/09/2026 12:40

Make sure you visit Hatchards as well 😄

Madamecholetsbonnet · 16/09/2026 12:40

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Bin him and have a brilliant time. Your trip sounds ace.

fumingrightnow1 · 16/09/2026 12:41

ijustwanttiread · 16/09/2026 12:34

His argument is he can’t afford to travel as much as he would like, so I should only go with him

Show quote history

Then as an adult he needs to look for better jobs or cut costs in his life to get extra not expect his partner to fund his lifestyle

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2026 12:41

If that’s something you really want to do, you should do it!

Don’t listen to anyone saying you can buy more books online for that amount - you want the experience of browsing
and that’s fine!

I would seriously rethink this relationship!

TheWildZebra · 16/09/2026 12:43

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

People go to London just to go shopping, why is a book store any different?

TheOriginalEmu · 16/09/2026 12:43

MelonSorbet · 16/09/2026 12:31

Your partner's an idiot but YABU to go to London just to visit some bookshops. You could get a lot of books for £170!

OK I have googled and the biggest bookshop in Europe is a Waterstones, you can buy from them online!

Edited

Getting them online isn’t the same, if you’re not into books that probably doesn’t make
sense, but the smell of new books, looking at all the covers, reading the blurb etc is all part of the experience. i once was in that shop for 6 hours. its glorious.

summitfever · 16/09/2026 12:43

This guy has got seriously fucked up ideas about what a relationship should look like and marrying this man and having kids will be a HUGE mistake! Ask me how I know. 😏

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