Unbalanced Inheritance Division

Just to say OP I know how this feels and it harder than most can appreciate if they haven’t been in this situation. Sending love your way. It’s a really tough hand to be dealt

And OP is also valuing money over her relationship with her DSIS. She's literally cutting her off because she won't give OP a huge chunk of money she's not entitled to. If OP valued her relationship with her sister she'd just accept that she's only entitled to what was left to her in the will and move on.

Look at it the other way. The other sister would rather the money it seems,even if the unfairness of it all is destroying her sister 😔

This is entirely performative. Why would anyone value a relationship with someone who values money over them? MN always says people show you who they are. If OP wants to protect her boundaries and doesn’t want to have to re-experience the hurt of her parent’s and sister’s values and betrayal that’s ok.

Bitterly trying to twist it to use it against the OP for your ends is hypocritical.

Nope. Both sisters think the money is more important than their relationship with each other. OP doesn't have to try to get her sister to hand over chunks of money she's not entitled to, and OP's sister could choose to gift OP a large chunk of money if she chose to. Neither sister are prioritising the relationship with the other over money. They are equal in that respect.

F

It sounds very unfair, but unlikely to have come out of the blue? I know my brother is the golden child so when DM dies I know most, if not all, will go to him.

Are you sure you don't know why? I'm not saying the 'why' is reasonable or fair, just that there must have been some hint in the decades before that this would happen.

I would balance it up if it were my siblings.

Your parents are a disgrace, if there is no reason behind their decision then this is a disgusting, hurtful, damaging thing to do to their child.

If your sister loved you, she would put it right but her greed is greater than her love, so you should let her go.

Sorry you have been out in this awful position.

Any reason you're being rude?
It's fine to have differing opinions, but not fine to speak to prople like this.

Each is equally allowing money to divide them.
OP because she feels she should have more, dispute the actual will and parents wishes, and would give up a relationship for that, and the sister for not redistributing a bit more fairly.
Clearly there were issues before the parents passed away, they chose to make the will this way for a reason, even if op never states what it was.

I can't imagine there isn't a reason. Did your sister provide a lot of care for your parents in the later years while you didn't? Could they be paying her for her time with that?

That's a really good point that hasn't been addressed by the OP.

Which one of your parents died last and had the 20/80 split OP? The split might have nothing to do with your other parent and that may help you work out why the parent who died last didn't give you and your sister equal shares.

Trust me, it's not about money.

Years later still struggling.

It's one of the worst hurts.

It's not all about the money.

But the money makes some contribution to peoples feelings definitely.

If the OP was absolutely minted it would take some of the sting out of the situation, while maybe also providing some justification as to why the split was the way it was.

I wasn’t rude, merely impatient and I despise posters who report over trifles.

Meanwhile you’re perfectly comfortable being rude to the OP implying her position is all about money rather than hurt and a deep sense of betrayal.

This is not worth my time.

Good luck OP. I understand how devastating this must be for you.

Focus on the people who care about you.

Oh dear! I was, fairly and reasonably expressing my views (and clearly explaining my rationale). You, on the other hand were rude and unpleasant, and seem to be coming from the place that only your opinion counts, which really isn't how discussion forums work. I called you out openly on your rudeness, others must have felt your rudeness was worth reporting, and presumably MN agreed since your post was removed.

All I said was that I didn’t have any patience with your perspective. That’s not particularly rude, and it is factual.

You made derogatory and unfounded accusations about OP’s motivations in a distressing circumstance and then had the affrontery to accuse other people of rudeness.

If you don’t like your views being criticised then take care to ensure they are enlightened and compassionate.

I said nothing derogatory, I simply have a different, but equally valid, viewpoint to you. Your response was extremely rude, you are very much minimising, as you know. It was a pointed personal attack accusing me of posting "twaddle" amongst other things, hence why it was removed.

By all means, have your own opinions, but you need to recognise that they don't trump other people's views and you need to stay polite and respectful in your responses.

For anyone wondering what this is about, please do review my posts on this thread and see of you can find what riled this poster to feel the need to launch an attack on me. It beats me!

My Mother had a clear favourite child, some of us used to discuss it, there were six of us. When she died she left everything to her. She didn’t want to share. I tackled it directly with her. I said I did not want a share but could she not give something to the other 4. My siblings are not well off, one was seriously disabled and the others though not disabled had ongoing health issues, compounded my hard physical NMW jobs. She refused. We all cut her off, two of us had expected this will, the others were devastated. I remember one of my poor sisters crying she just wanted Mum to treat us all the same once. My very disabled brother did everything for our Mother, his wife had been a nurse so also did huge amounts for her. If it was a who helped the most those two should have had the vast majority.

FIL also left all his money to SIL, clearly his favourite. She has said she will make good one day but she can’t currently. It’s very complicated but who knows. She doesn’t have to. Its the fact she has contemplated it that has made me think she is a better person than my sister.

I made three posts in this thread, all of them polite and respectful stating my view. Others also gave the same views. But for some reason, you ignored others giving the same (completely fair and valid) viewpoint that I did, yet thought it necessary to launch into an unjustified personal attack on me (which MN have now removed).

You behaved badly. At least have the balls to own it and apologise.