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Original poster

Unhappy that husband wants to go on lads long weekend right after being away for work

85 replies

Slumberqueeen · 14/09/2026 12:28

Hi,

Am I being unreasonable about not being keen on my husband going away for the October bank holiday for a lads weekend.

I would normally not have an issue at all but he travels for work a lot and he will be gone for nearly a week just beforehand. So it's timing of them being so close to together that's the issue.

The work trip has been in the diary for months but the lads only decided to book the holiday last week. He'll be back on the Wednesday from the work trip and wants to fly out again on the Friday.

It's tough going minding our high energy 4 year old by myself especially for a long weekend. Our family will be away (they don't live locally either) so it'll just be me. Also the clocks are due to go back that weekend too so fun times 🥴

OP posts:
Gobbledegoo · 16/09/2026 12:24

Have a 3 or 4 day break when you know his parents aren't available to help.

MyballsareSandy2015 · 16/09/2026 12:48

Is your 4 year old particularly hard work OP?

I don’t think this would worry me really. Both DH and I used to go away with friends when our twins were small.

Go out with him for day trips, eat out or get some easy food in/takeaway. And wine for when he’s in bed. It’ll soon pass and then you can plan a trip away with friends.

Keyleads · 16/09/2026 12:58

OP, it sounds like you are the parent and he dips in and out.
He has only looked after his child once briefly on his own?

Unbelievable. At least you have only one child.
I would be most concerned that he doesn't want to be around more for his child.
Have you sourced a babysitter to help you and give you back up.

He's not a great dad.

Worriednanof1 · 16/09/2026 13:07

I would suggest not having anymore children if you can't cope with the 1 that you have.

Laura95167 · 16/09/2026 22:02

Slumberqueeen · 14/09/2026 12:46

The lads booked it and told him that's when they are going so he just mentioned he wants to go.

It's just the thought of minding our 4 year old solo for the bones of a week and half. He's an only child so there is zero downtime when he's awake. A full day or two max over a weekend is manageable and during the week is fine as I'm working and he's in nursery. The thoughts of a 3 day long weekend fills me with dread. 😔

I already parent solo a lot as he travels for work a lot but it mostly falls on week days and only the odd weekend.

What 3 day weekend is in October? The next bank holiday is Christmas?

CypressGrove · 16/09/2026 22:18

Laura95167 · 16/09/2026 22:02

What 3 day weekend is in October? The next bank holiday is Christmas?

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The OP has explained twice she's in Ireland. Other countries have different bank holidays than the UK.

StolenTeapots · 17/09/2026 03:00

CypressGrove · 16/09/2026 22:18

The OP has explained twice she's in Ireland. Other countries have different bank holidays than the UK.

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People are scratching their heads that there is a world out of London. So hilarious.

FruitFlyPie · 19/09/2026 11:51

I was in a similar situation to the DH once, I was away for two weeks when my kids were 6 and 4. By chance, my best friend planned a weekend away for her 40th a day after I got back. I felt so bad but the 40th trip with all the friends together truly was a once off. We haven't done it before or since. If it's something like this I think it's fair for him to go.

MeowDoku · 19/09/2026 11:57

99bottlesofkombucha · 14/09/2026 14:23

He only thinks work trips are tiring because he’s never had sole care of an energetic toddler.

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A 4 year old isn't a toddler

MeowDoku · 19/09/2026 12:07

Soon DH is away 3 days in the week but practically won't be around for 4 because of a very early start and a late return. He is then away the weekend after he's back from work, it's just the way it's fallen not ideal but it is what it is. I'm actually quite looking forward to having a weekend with just ds and so is he, we've got some fun Halloween type stuff planned, there is an event thing we're going to one afternoon, and we're going to go and see the new Shaun the sheep film at the cinema on the Sunday, I'll probably let him stay up a bit on the Saturday and have something easy for dinner like make your own pizzas. He's a bit older than yours he's 7 but neurodivergent so very full on. Can you not just reframe it as a mummy DS weekend? Might change your you get through it

The bigger problem you have is that your child is 4 and his father has only looked after him alone once!!

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