Affairs

A couple I have known since i was 18, we were so close, he had an affair and the marriage broke up. Was absolutely blindsided I would never ever have had him down like that.I thought he loved her so much and how well he treated her. It wasn't even a one night stand was a full on affair. Looking back the signs were probably there as he was away so much with work. Was so blindsided thought never in a million years did I have home down as a cheater.

I think if any woman is ever single in her 30s/40s/50s, it is only then that she will discover first hand the huge percentage of married men who would be up for it. They do tend to leave women in relationships alone, as it would be a lot of effort wasted often, so it’s understandable that if you are long term married as a woman, you would be oblivious and naive as to the sheer extent of it.

Unless you spend an equivalent amount of time on a very male dominated chat forum, then of course you'll read 'too many accounts' from women.

I was married with children and had an affair. My affair partner was also married with children. We divorced our spouses and have been together 18 years.

I used to live in a village. Everyone there was shagging each other or had shagged each other. There were often fights at the school gate of the “Leave my man alone you scrubber” variety.

My kids also went to an international school overseas, where two of the Mums got together. It ended both marriages, but the relationship didn’t last, although they are still good friends.

It’s not always men who instigate, one woman I know told me she had someone ‘in mind’ before targeting him and getting what she wanted. An astonishing amount of selfishness is what swings it, male or female.

Only one of my friends has had any affairs in their relationships (that I know of) and it was the woman that cheated

The women can be single so not married

Neither of us has ever had or would ever have an affair. We've had and still have busy lives - no time for anyone else! (Married 52 years)

So, in your world, women are mindless, silly idiots with no free will, while men are brainless, sex-obsessed animals?

What a lovely world you live in. 😂Dare I ask in which category you see yourself?

That would be the whole population in one way or another then.

Based on the people I know who’ve had affairs, there’s no ‘affair personality’ type.

How do you know your husband has not had an affair? You know he hasn’t been caught but it’s rather naive to be so sure.

I think the rose tinted specs need to come off

women have affairs too, for the same reasons as men. They lie and cheat too.

One couple I know, it came out she has mad multiple affairs and tbh I felt well smug because I’ve never liked her and I always knew she was a wrongun. Obviously I did not say this to her devastated husband but when we found out as soon as DH and I were alone he did say “well you were right about her I’ll give you that”. She just had bad vibes I can’t lie. I know that sounds silly but I can’t put it into words. She is the only serial cheater I know (that I know of lol).

The other people I know or know of who had affairs were all kind of in bad marriages - and when you can see a marriage is bad from the outside then it’s really bad.

I know he hasn't any, more than I have. It's not naive of me. We know each other well and, for reasons I'm not prepared to go into, I know he would never do it. In any case, neither of us would ever have had the time, nor would we now we are 79 and 83. We have total trust in each other. Trust in so many ways which is one reason we both say we've never, ever regretted our marriage, not for one minute. People might be cynical, but I assure you, it's true. Been together nearly 55 years. Yes, we are very fortunate to have met the right person at the right times in our lives.

Count me out of that!

I'm very sorry you've had such poor experiences with men.

I know lots of men who have never had an affair, including my husband.

either you said it or you implied it, but as you are either a man or a woman, you fall into one of the categories too 😂

I am not sure what you are trying to achieve with posts like this? All men will have affairs. is obviously not true. So why the need to make things like that up?

I would say that if people could guarantee they wouldn't be caught the number would be much higher.

In my late teens/early 20s there were a high number of married men who propositioned me. I am now late 40s as still have a few who do, they are either married or in a relationship, mostly in their 20s/30s. I think 50% is maybe high, I am trying to think how it is possible that 50% of the married men I know have affairs, however the people I know who have tried to are probably the least likely people that anyone would expect so perhaps 50% is correct as a lot are the people we are sure wouldn't!

I don't have a high opinion of that many men, I think there are very few who if they thought they'd get away with it and had the opportunity present itself who would say no. I am purely speaking from experience and what I have seen. I am not saying that women don't have affairs but I know of less, most affair partners seem to be single, younger women.

But if the men could be faithful she'd have no success. I think its probably not that difficult if I'm honest. Obviously its a shitty attitude of course.

I actually think this is closer to the truth than people like to believe. I don't think ALL men necessarily but I think a much higher % would want to but dont get the opportunity to, or if they do choose not to they actually would want to if they definitely wouldn't get caught.

I reckon there are a handful of men I know who I wouldn't be truly shocked about, a few more I would be a bit surprised about.