Affairs

I know far more women who have had affairs than men.

I also know women who have been cheated on, and who have then gone on to sleep with a married man.

Only time I’ve thought someone would cheat it was a woman dating my friend. She was snogging a rando at a party within months of the wedding, husband forgave her. A year later they had a baby and she started an affair with a colleague, husband again forgave her, year later she did it again with someone else (his wife told her husband), they finally split up and she had a series of other affairs with married men. The husband is very happy with a fantastic woman and more children, his ex is a mess.

I don’t have a clue why she married him in the first place, he was smitten with her while his family and all of his friends thought he was making a terrible mistake.

I see what you did there! lol

The maths doesn't math....the woman doesn't necessarily need to be in a relationship.

Absolutely, selfishness is definitely high risk behaviour too.

In our large circle of friends, not one of the women has had an affair (that they’d admit to). 3 of the men have. For one it was a fling and his wife forgave him and they are very happy. The other 2 both left their marriages for the OW. They both subsequently married the affair partner and are extremely happy now.

Could I have suspected them? No. Apart from maybe one of them and he’s a police officer, so the odds of divorce are much higher.

That’s never stopped anyone. Certainly didn’t stop my mum, just made the fall out for her family more excruciating.

Men & women are equally likely to be unfaithful, I think, but women are more likely to excuse themselves with a victim narrative.

I know more women than men who have had affairs. The men I know who have had affairs didn't leave their wives for the OW by choice the wife booted them out.
MN tends to be very forgiving of women who have affairs.

IME, ALL people who have affairs excuse themselves with a victim narrative. It’s the only way to deal with the cognitive dissonance.

I only know two people who've had affairs. One had an affair with a friend of his wife for 7 years before his wife found out. Amazingly she forgave him.and took him back.

The other person is my (single) friend who's been having an affair with a married man for over 20 years.

Im not aware of any of my other friends having affairs, so I would query the 50% figure

this reply was for @UnctuousUnicorns - no wonder it looked lost

No they don't necessarily have affairs with people from here.
One man got caught out over 200 miles away because somebody from here saw him.

Ah sorry, I thought you said you didn’t know anyone who’d had an affair.

I didn't know them personally

All men will have affairs. If a man hasn't had an affair, it will be because no woman wants anything to do with him. It's just the way that they are. So either come to terms with that and act accordingly or look into forming meaningful relationships with other women. You will be much happier that way.

I wouldn’t say I’ve predicted it, but of the men I have known to have affairs in real life, I would say I haven’t been remotely surprised.

Oh dear … there’s always one.

My doctor who is married flirted with me, and actually made an attempt to contact me outside of his workplace. I was quite flattered as he's good looking and has a lot of charisma, but I also couldn't believe he would put his career and livelihood at risk like that. Thankfully my friend bought me back down to earth by telling me that he must be having a mid life crisis and was only after sex.

Now a year later I just feel sorry for his wife and go out of my way to avoid him, which included changing my doctors surgery.

I agree with this. It gets trotted out all the time 'I've been unhappy for ages, spouse doesn't understand me / has changed / is no fun'. And somehow people seem to fall for it.

Absolute nonsense. My ex had an affair and I was sadly privy to the early text messages. It was ALL her for a long while, texting him later and later, slowly but surely adding in the sexual comments, he was batting it off for a while. Didn’t stay just her obviously. But certainly 100% started with her.

You think over half of all men have affairs?!?

As many women have affairs as men, women aren't perfect. I'd guess it was the same amount for both.

Approx half the men I work with have had ons or brief affairs, some admit to paying escorts/dancers or meeting a young get women through work/working away but the only people I know well engaging in long term affairs are 3 women all of them I have known for many years, one has been having an affair for 12 years. I’m not sure that makes the men any worse

That presupposes various things that aren't necessarily true.