Lending things to neighbours

And, yeah, may be worth asking why no one has bought one before...

No is a complete sentence.

The cheeky bastards!! You don't owe them anything, it all sounds unbearable to me. As someone has said you're the newcomer and things change.

YANBU asking to borrow a ride on mower not like asking for a cup of sugar. What a ridiculous request!

A neighbour of mine had a chainshaw and another neighbour asked to borrow it. The chainsaw owner replied "Will you be letting me borrow your wife?" which, if suspiciously misogynistic did make the boundary clear.

Say what now? They didn't take no for an answer from your DH but rather did some more wheedling on you? How rude and ignorant!

I think they're being incredibly cheeky even if the neighbourhood does 'help each other out'.

If it was a one off 'my gardeners on holiday and due to the rain the weather my garden has suddenly gone wild', that's a favour. A 'can i continually save me hundreds / thousands of pounds while I benefit from stuff you've bought without compensating you for it' that's not ok.

“Actually Dave, that sounds great. We were thinking about going down to one car, and that sounds like a fair deal to me—we can use your car when Steve and I both need to be out at the same time, and you can use our ride-on mower. Let me know when I can pop round with my drivers license, so you can get me on your insurance.”

Not quite the same situation, but when my Dad died in 1988, within a couple of days his neighbour asked me if he could have Dad's lawnmower. (just a simple electric one) He didn't get it.

Oh tell them to f*%k off! I mean from the start laying down the law of what their expectations are from their neighbours. Did they consider you could have expectations from your neighbours?! Like not to be so cheeky and rude, and not for them to act like children and in essence play two parents off against each other. Honestly, they’ve walked all over you!

loaning neighbours things is very neighbourly and I don’t object to that think it’s nice but they need to accept that their will be times where you are allowed to say no and they are to accept that. One important life lesson I have brought my kids to understand and live by from a young age, ‘ you can ask me anything you want BUT you have to be prepared to accept the answer given.’ No harm in them asking but to not accept your husbands answer that is not ok. Dig deep stop making excuses to tell them and to try smooth it over. The answer is no, it’s very expensive and if it was to break it’s not fair to put that sort of responsibility on your neighbours simple.

“When we moved in, some of the neighbours spoke to us about expectations of living there.”

I was open-mouthed at this bit before I even got to the stuff about the mower. Who do these cfs think they are?? It’s time to draw clear boundaries and say no. As always with cfs, if you give an inch, they take a mile.

It’s a difficult dilemma at the same time as not being a difficult dilemma! Why should you spend thousands on something that they then get use of for free? Why should you fund a community vehicle for anyone to use whenever they like and continue to foot the bill when it needs parts and fuel and servicing…
But then I get the risk of being alienated or losing out on the nice things that they do help with, or falling out with them. Or not feeling like you can ask them next time you need a favour.

Having neighbours you don’t get on with can severely impact your life and it’s unfair that you’re now under unfair pressure to keep the peace when lending them such a valuable resource goes far beyond the responsibility and scope of taking in a parcel or borrowing a set of spanners.

I know I’ve not really helped you with your query, but I hope it helps to reaffirm that you’re not being unreasonable. But I empathise with what might be at stake.

I think the way you’ve explained it was very well put. I did like the idea someone else shared about offering your husband to mow their lawns at the going rate to cover the cost of fuel and wear and tear would be a nice workaround, but as long as that feels like a nice way to chip in and be neighbourly and do your bit without it feeling like he’s now the on-call community gardener !

Tell them you can't lend it because you're using it to make a UK version of "The Straight Story".

I’d have sold up before they finished outlining their expectations.

They must think they're running some sort of American HOA nonsense.

I wouldn't have taken kindly to being given a list of "expectations" from strangers when I moved in. Tell them to F off.

In got stuck on, they asked my husband, he said no so then they asked me. Unbelievable! I'd be tempted to put up really bright and colourful flashing lights to really irritate them so I could say "we wanted something, you could enjoy too".

This! Absolutely batshit behaviour from your neighbours.

And this!

Your neighbours are CFs. Your Husband said no, they ignored him and asked you! Absolute CF behaviour.

I would’ve ignored their list of expectations too.

Sounds like you're living in a commune.
It's a big "no, that doesn't work for us" from me. Cheeky sods.

As a one off because theirs broke then maybe, but if they could pay for yours if they broke it then they can buy their own bloody lawnmower. Telling tales on your husband to you is really childish. They can’t make you be part of their weird sharing community and it’s not really based on kindness if they are forcing it on you

Gosh, where do you live - so I can avoid it!
No seriously, I wouldn't mind helping a neighbor during emergencies etc. but the actual expectation to help and lend items would be too much.

I agree with above posters, be firm with your boundaries - nothing wrong with simply saying "No" and no explanation or apology even needed.

Asking for lifts to the airport OMG!!!

Not a chance! Bins - fine. Lending a ride-on mower, not a chance. They are expensive and accumulate wear and tear. Just like a car, the more you use it, the soon you repair parts, blades, belts etc. Ours costs £300-£400 a year to service and keep maintained, plus £7 for 5l of fuel. They are too expensive to lend out.

Your neighbours sound like cheeky, insufferable snobs. No is a full sentence.