AIBU to spend less on presents for a joint children’s party?

I don’t see how it’s connected to the cost of the party.

if you would have been invited to four separate parties this month, then spend the same as you would have in that case.

If it’s a bit less than other months due to the concentration of birthdays and affordability, that’s fine. But not because the parents decided to club the parties into one.

I’m not sure why it makes a difference if it is a single party or a joint party tbh

eta I loved a joint party because otherwise every weekend is taken up by a party!!

I think it does make a difference because the parents of the party kids save a lot on costs, and OP's child only gets to experience one party. £40 is insane.

The connection at my dc's school was just to bring 1 present and it was a lucky dip for the birthday children.

Good lord! This horrible tit-for-tat way of thinking is ridiculous.

They’ve saved you having to go to 4 parties. Don’t be so nit picky! just get the kids whatever you can afford op.

Amazon - books
Flying tiger - random stuff
TK max

all have reasonably priced things kids would love for £5ish

Of course it makes a difference, surely part the point is the present is a thank you for the food /drinks/activities! I would have thought £5 a child is fine if there's no guidance from the parents.

Agree with this, what you spend should be about what you are comfortable with spending on 4 gifts in the same month, not what the parents did or didn't spend on the party.

Personally I'd be so grateful to just have to take DC to one party in a month instead of 4 that I'd be happy to get 4 decent presents, but also aware I am fortunate to be able to do that.

I’ve only ever gifted token presents at these things, grab a couple of 10 for £10 book deal at the works whenever your in town and and give each child 1 book whenever you go to a party. Unless it’s a close friend where we probably would spend more like £10.

I would assume a birthday present is purely for the child’s birthday. That’s how birthday presents usually work surely? Would you honestly give a child a present only in relation to how much money their parents can afford to spend on a party? So rich children get expensive presents and less well off children get cheaper presents?

The works do 4 for £20, on craft kits and other gifts. When mine were class party age I use to bulk buy stuff like that anyway and keep the spares for the next birthday.

When my DC went to joint parties they would be invited by just one DC and I’d buy for that DC. In this instance I’d buy a £2.50 ish thing for each one such as some colouring stuff etc and a packet of sweets.

My son got given homemade crispy cakes from one friend, one year. A book from a child’s own shelf another. He was happy, I was happy. £2.50 might get more than you think at Ryman’s or The Works or Home Bargains.

For a fiver:

a book
a colouring book
felt tips
a hair slide or accessory
a pencil case
an enormous bar of dairy milk

maybe a birthday or other badge would come in under budget too. Don’t spend what you don’t have.

DS went to a joint party earlier this year. My usual budget is £10 all in including card and gift bag but since there were 2 children I spent £15 all in. I tend to get a book and big pack of sweets. I now have a pack of generic birthday cards and gift bags for any future parties. DS didn’t know one of the boys in this party well at all.

The present is for the birthday, not a thank you for attending the party.

im assuming grandparents and family will give presents without always attending the party….?

It kind of is a thank you otherwise people would be buying for every DC in the class, year, Brownie group etc even if they weren’t going to their parties.

Don't buy Dairy Milk unless you are sure they are not vegan

Definitely makes a difference. Not for any tit for tat reason but because who can afford £40 to go to one party?

Yeah I have twins and hate multi child parties it’s ridiculously expensive

It’s more like £20 a present per kid in these parts. I’d balk at an £80 party outlay too OP!

Grim! Do you buy a worse gift for a child that has a cheaper party at home too? Such a mean spirited way of looking at children's parties and gifts.

If you can't afford £40 then you have no choice but to spend less. That's absolutely fine and nobody would begrudge that. Spending less simply because it's a joint party is unkind.

Unless you genuinely can't afford more, then please don't do this. It's obvious you are being cheap and it's really unfair if your child is receiving more expensive gifts on their birthday. I remember my mum doing this and when I got old enough to realise, I was utterly mortified. Kids clock on to this stuff quite early and have an inherent sense of fairness and embarrassment when someone is cheaping out. Just to reiterate, if you can't afford more then this is totally different.

I think it's fine to aim for a £5 gift, that's what I generally did for class parties anyway.

Of course it's relevant that you have to buy 4 gifts at once, many people's budgets are tight and they'd need to spend less.

I would spend the same amount. It’s still saving you money on transport costs to go to 4 separate parties. I think £5 is perfectly okay. But only if we knew all the children, otherwise I’d only buy for the ones who actually invited us.

When we did a triple party we said presents not needed but everyone still did.

Just spend what you can afford.

I give the same value whether it’s one or three or more kids. My son had a joint paintball party with two other lads and I’d be pretty annoyed if that was used as an excuse to give less (obviously people should only give what they can afford). It was an expensive party we couldn’t have done without joining up.