I just saw this poem-I will do this as a mother, but mine didn't, did yours?

I mean, doing a few meals and the odd load of laundry isn't a lot though, is it?

I do that for friends with new babies, I imagine I can summon up a little cooking and a little laundry if my son ever has a child.

Nope! MIL insisted on coming and just read her books, said it’s been like ‘staying in a hotel’ on leaving. My own mother was as much the same.

My DM came for a week on my first, she helped, but I couldn’t wait to get back to my own home at the time.
Maybe your DM thought she was doing the right thing, if I needed things I asked DM to fetch what I needed. I don’t recall her cooking etc.

Eww that poem 🫣

Where are the men? Dad of baby as well as grandad?

My DP were a lot older so couldn't manage all of these things but absolutely adore their DGC. When we had our beloved dog they used to look after her, take out for walks when we were at work so know they would have. Xx

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis But it’s so much more than that. No matter how good my husband was, there was nothing like having my mum there when my daughter was a tiny baby. I had never held a baby before she was born, and I just needed my Mum’s wisdom, love, and support. She was the person who had been a major part of my life since the day I was born and knew me better than anyone else ever could. Ive often helped out with a bit of cooking and housework for friends with new babies or after surgery, and I had support from some of my close friends after giving birth and after surgery, but it’s not the same as having your mum there. More recently, when I came home from a week in hospital after major surgery for cancer, my mum came to stay and she was the one who I needed in the middle of the night when I was terrified about the future, and she was the one who just knew when to bring me a cup of tea, a curly wurly, and a hanky. She was also the one who I woke up at 3 am when she stayed overnight a couple of weeks earlier when I’d had more minor surgery on my lymph nodes bwcause I knew she would be as fascinated as I was at my bright turquoise wee from the radioactive dye thst had been used. We stood and looked at it for ages! 😆😆. I have been with my husband for nearly 50 years and love him dearly, but there are some things you just need your mum for, and then life changes forever once theyre not around any more.

@Growlybear83im glad you had this. My cancer made me realise how alone i was.

My mom was like poem, my ex hated it. Made him feel useless and not needed apparently. Then with our last child, he took full paternity leave and was useless. Actually, he was worse than useless. He set me up to fail so many times.

My mother died when I was young. I would be honoured to look after my daughter in this way when she becomes a mother.

My mum was never there, died when I was born, u be you be the best mum you can that’s all we can do!

Not everything is about men and / or equality.

Theres a special bond between mothers and their daughters

I really need to get my eyes tested because I can't even read it!

My mum was dead. So it seems a bit strange to criticise a mum that was present even though she couldn’t read your mind as to specifically what you wanted.

For all you know, your DD may find washing dishes and folding tiny clothes to be avoiding bonding with your grandbaby and refusing to give her a break all to make a passive aggressive hint about poor housekeeping and infant care.

Don’t do what you would have liked, communicate and find out what she would like.

I had a very difficult first delivery with my first and my mum and dad came to stay and did exactly this. And one of the many reasons I love my MIL so much is after they went home she dropped everything and came out to stay with me and did the same. I used to get a poached egg on toast in bed every morning. and during the night she would be in her room while I fed the baby and then after a while would come out and say "would you like me to settle him back to sleep for you" so I could crawl back into bed. We became very close during those weeks.

My mum brought me food parcels into hospital because the food there was disgusting. She left cooked meals in the fridge for when I got home.
While I was in hospital she checked the baby's bedroom and saw we only had an old rug on the floor as money was a bit tight, so brought carpet samples into hospital and bullied the local carpet shop to fit it the next day.

God, I miss her.

If someone tried to mollycoddle me, rifle through our cupboards, decide we were too weak and pathetic to feed ourselves and resorting to live in a pig sty, they would soon have heard about it.
My only way to answer the question ‘how can I help you?’ was ‘treat me normally’. Tell me about your daft neighbour, your day at work or your dog.

DH on the other hand would probably have enjoyed being waited on. Too bad I told him that wasn’t happening.

If my mother had done anything in that poem, i wouldn't have survived the early days.

If my daughter wants me to be there for her, i will. If she wants me to keep away, i will. It'll be her call, not mine.

So i think that poem is sadly not about the daughter becoming a mum, it's about the grandma being selfish.

My mum:

1. told me to get an abortion.

2. told me I was irresponsible because the baby might be born disabled and need specialist equipment I wouldn’t be able to afford 😵‍💫 (I was 23 so not really high risk for this happening).

3. was one of the last to come and visit me in hospital after the birth and when asked if she wanted to hold the baby pursed her lips and said “well I will if it will make everyone happy”.

So no 🤣, in a nutshell.

I thought this, she cannot be an accomplished poet surely.

AI writes more profoundly than this

My mum would muck in when she came to stay (she's 200 miles away) but she didn't do in a scmaltzy sentimental way like in that poem thank god 😂

Yes, my Mum was like the narrator of the poem. We lived close by so she didn’t stay with us but she and my Dad visited every day but didn’t intrude or outstay their welcome, did our washing, cooked us meals and yes, spent a lot of time cooing over their beautiful new granddaughter. But I think that they were so good because my granny was so bad; after my Mum had my sister when I was three my granny descended on us the day that my dad went back to work and started being a sergeant major, bossing my Mum about to go and wash her hair and have a sleep while she did the housework and kept an eye on me and my sister. My Mum absolutely didn’t want this and they had a big row where my Mum said if you really want to help please take some of the washing or come and collect LambriniBob and take her to preschool on the mornings she’s there. But my granny didn’t want to do that, she wanted to clean out my Mum’s kitchen cupboards 😂 in the end my Mum was forced to ring my grandpa at work and ask him to come in his lunch hour and sort my granny out. He just sighed as this was so my granny’s style and she hadn’t told him that this was what she was going to do (because she knew he would tell her not to!)

I clearly remember the argument between my Mum and my granny and also my grandpa pulling onto the drive in his blue Ford Capri and being exited because I always loved to see him. He spent five minutes telling me what a wonderful big sister I was being and giving me some biscuits he had bought with him and then basically dragged my granny out by her ear.

So yeah, my Mum wasn’t going to emulate that behaviour. I think my granny still thinks that how it should be done though, she never offered any apologies or showed any remorse and even though she was 82 when my eldest was born she threatened to come round and do my housework, to which my Mum said wasn’t going to happen because she would make herself a human shield and barracked my front door if she had to 😂

Yeah, I won the lottery with my mum. She only lives 5 mins away so when I had my babies she was round whenever I needed her. She would bring a plated meal for us every evening the first few weeks after I had my twins. She's awesome x

Well not sure if treating a new mother like she’s helpless is appropriate. And where’s her partner in this? My mother was late 70s when I had my kids and abroad half the year but I didn’t need her to ‘lift the burden’. And I wouldn’t want her to ever have felt obligated to! She did her child raising when there were cloth nappies and no dishwashers. She’s done her bit. She didn’t need to do anything for me other than ‘coo’.
Unless there is a traumatic birth? Even then (I had caesareans and my second child was in NICU for a few days). I mean sure I’ll help my daughter or son if they need it and I’m able, but only if they want me to.